tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-91899065699516864932024-03-23T03:14:28.743-07:00Rollercoasters...Rollercoastershttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09399672423366620095noreply@blogger.comBlogger67125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9189906569951686493.post-7633187075303282822024-01-13T18:06:00.000-08:002024-01-13T20:26:06.399-08:00When you are 65, you have wisdom of the ages… or do you really??<p> <span face="Calibri, sans-serif" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-size: 11pt;">First and foremost, thank you for ALL the birthday wishes via cards, text, emails, phone calls, and of course FB.</span><span face="Calibri, sans-serif" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-size: 11pt;"> </span><span face="Calibri, sans-serif" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-size: 11pt;"> </span><span face="Calibri, sans-serif" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-size: 11pt;">When you are in your twenties, you never think it could ever happen to you… you become a “Senior Citizen.”</span><span face="Calibri, sans-serif" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-size: 11pt;"> </span><span face="Calibri, sans-serif" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-size: 11pt;"> </span><span face="Calibri, sans-serif" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-size: 11pt;">Well, I am officially a 65yo Senior Citizen.</span><span face="Calibri, sans-serif" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-size: 11pt;"> </span><span face="Calibri, sans-serif" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-size: 11pt;"> </span><span face="Calibri, sans-serif" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-size: 11pt;">So… show some respect for the age!!!!</span><span face="Calibri, sans-serif" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-size: 11pt;"> </span><span face="Calibri, sans-serif" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-size: 11pt;"> </span></p><p><span face="Calibri, sans-serif" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-size: 11pt;"> Morning bed head. </span></p><p></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhHyIdFYLm0w3pZEFEB6HLt-sSRdXvGxzv1KWn-DG-3zkorEZKYvwT6qhsHi2kc2Rz-BXObsEejglY4brsWuArCgBS6ONUqjkjWZNkq3yQZ92M43yTpjg75JLdmfygKk1cAyCNyVnIHmlWdUED8ylO6pRCqaU78DTuwZXwBUzKR7gqkN4NQhEZgzNKW2Vo/s4032/IMG_0983.jpeg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="4032" data-original-width="3024" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhHyIdFYLm0w3pZEFEB6HLt-sSRdXvGxzv1KWn-DG-3zkorEZKYvwT6qhsHi2kc2Rz-BXObsEejglY4brsWuArCgBS6ONUqjkjWZNkq3yQZ92M43yTpjg75JLdmfygKk1cAyCNyVnIHmlWdUED8ylO6pRCqaU78DTuwZXwBUzKR7gqkN4NQhEZgzNKW2Vo/s320/IMG_0983.jpeg" width="240" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; text-align: left;"><br /></span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; text-align: left;">The good news is that I have been waking up this side of dirt! </span></div><p class="MsoNormal" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; margin: 0in;"><br /> I walk Gus, my adorable fur baby. <o:p></o:p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; margin: 0in;"><br /></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg7tIcbiIoDK7aV8p-p54ric1VAeCfTJovZz-yR0qpfQwA9z6pRyN93p8DcMqUie-hbW7fFvkQPT00S5V_rao5XhtHErAJaWJSh8zWPFgAEao0JFblgMzUJBMggBE6XmKvhaYPyREhbVUHzL4Bnn-dF_tocxhrqmF6Mb5fEvP2q_vgXVox4001j2uZvZkA/s4032/IMG_0984.jpeg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="4032" data-original-width="3024" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg7tIcbiIoDK7aV8p-p54ric1VAeCfTJovZz-yR0qpfQwA9z6pRyN93p8DcMqUie-hbW7fFvkQPT00S5V_rao5XhtHErAJaWJSh8zWPFgAEao0JFblgMzUJBMggBE6XmKvhaYPyREhbVUHzL4Bnn-dF_tocxhrqmF6Mb5fEvP2q_vgXVox4001j2uZvZkA/s320/IMG_0984.jpeg" width="240" /></a></div><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiObJ9pBl8zz6vzepMo-aMARKZHhyphenhyphenILFU97xzgRUlguVNoquz59bq2_Gz5wBgCuCF_0ILAuEoyx35uZgKJF1P0tV2U7SdTpdciCRXDKwV82noiH_5KvQzFvMimSTyxvHr7vvf9moCvXxk_TfVWMjGLDMZawM1uEtLiVgXTPEyhAxIGQxCTC_83TJr48ldg/s4032/IMG_0986.jpeg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="3024" data-original-width="4032" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiObJ9pBl8zz6vzepMo-aMARKZHhyphenhyphenILFU97xzgRUlguVNoquz59bq2_Gz5wBgCuCF_0ILAuEoyx35uZgKJF1P0tV2U7SdTpdciCRXDKwV82noiH_5KvQzFvMimSTyxvHr7vvf9moCvXxk_TfVWMjGLDMZawM1uEtLiVgXTPEyhAxIGQxCTC_83TJr48ldg/s320/IMG_0986.jpeg" width="320" /></a></div><br /><p class="MsoNormal" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; margin: 0in;"><br /></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; margin: 0in;"><o:p> </o:p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; margin: 0in;"> I workout.<o:p></o:p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; margin: 0in;"><br /></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj4IiIfNeET-o_l6cqKfi1iS3ktdOFSbOAY0lnSwR4s42-vRU0GP0P6jsEmAAH7pE-3w7TCZk76WA1RbOILbyz84JyW_16eGn9WS6CC8GhJaAbnPTL3VHFwp2_79Epl1UhRuRY6UzFyFnSOMHbCDdDWnvVRSTTCut_9hW2Sw1od7va-6Ah_6fPf-6QfVIs/s4032/IMG_0991.jpeg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="4032" data-original-width="3024" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj4IiIfNeET-o_l6cqKfi1iS3ktdOFSbOAY0lnSwR4s42-vRU0GP0P6jsEmAAH7pE-3w7TCZk76WA1RbOILbyz84JyW_16eGn9WS6CC8GhJaAbnPTL3VHFwp2_79Epl1UhRuRY6UzFyFnSOMHbCDdDWnvVRSTTCut_9hW2Sw1od7va-6Ah_6fPf-6QfVIs/s320/IMG_0991.jpeg" width="240" /></a></div><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjdBWB5OrdTCm2DGA1GkG2JIAcoWFq2EogfEp7hdBFw5uhkPdA-XPArfQb78t2oaRC6JA-OUGbc7YoR9fG3sWl3RFzl0Auejx60XIWx7X8GSf8iTT5p8NazEo6jmBBxjboz5LH6t-9muHrVrafBRwT7qcNo5aW5qm18QzkKHkZtT21T8ZEL1CSRdJvjly0/s4032/IMG_0993.jpeg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="4032" data-original-width="3024" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjdBWB5OrdTCm2DGA1GkG2JIAcoWFq2EogfEp7hdBFw5uhkPdA-XPArfQb78t2oaRC6JA-OUGbc7YoR9fG3sWl3RFzl0Auejx60XIWx7X8GSf8iTT5p8NazEo6jmBBxjboz5LH6t-9muHrVrafBRwT7qcNo5aW5qm18QzkKHkZtT21T8ZEL1CSRdJvjly0/s320/IMG_0993.jpeg" width="240" /></a></div><br /><p class="MsoNormal" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; margin: 0in;"><br /></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; margin: 0in;"><o:p> </o:p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; margin: 0in;">I take my prescription drugs, day and night. It seems like every time I go to a doctor they want to add something new to my regimen. <span style="font-family: "Apple Color Emoji";">😂</span>. </p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgMy8JPVnCTU5kiEwmep75m3RfS2r3iAQoZzIXrK9HrWIaRPsDqKV2-vAGPGl5sojiSE9HCycZCV3TAWjd2zVNGS-nvyNUjX1W91aRxiOVuyey70G9rSbuv-kP8A-FWRiUPf1op_4H1ZzNNkM6fOKG9HvQbqTewjxZ8ucs2V_VfOFTOR3phi_LjZvJb83A/s2796/IMG_0988.png" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="2796" data-original-width="1290" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgMy8JPVnCTU5kiEwmep75m3RfS2r3iAQoZzIXrK9HrWIaRPsDqKV2-vAGPGl5sojiSE9HCycZCV3TAWjd2zVNGS-nvyNUjX1W91aRxiOVuyey70G9rSbuv-kP8A-FWRiUPf1op_4H1ZzNNkM6fOKG9HvQbqTewjxZ8ucs2V_VfOFTOR3phi_LjZvJb83A/s320/IMG_0988.png" width="148" /></a></div><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiDS_1SEGRGgclKdasF4oIRnc6eJFUopqXjNmJG5KF83IrcsOeQ4cirqwEsA66EDf3gSSGHmsTKIaaNnuRpYwWD_3esWYVZCpxPVPl69m2q1h0nh1TIX-whMoGz_Ydyf1-VrjzxjE5pAr5BpHAzfNEGDdO5cXHBoCBVKfnFo00nyUJQZqigCSiJv9uZ3uk/s4032/IMG_1005.jpeg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="3024" data-original-width="4032" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiDS_1SEGRGgclKdasF4oIRnc6eJFUopqXjNmJG5KF83IrcsOeQ4cirqwEsA66EDf3gSSGHmsTKIaaNnuRpYwWD_3esWYVZCpxPVPl69m2q1h0nh1TIX-whMoGz_Ydyf1-VrjzxjE5pAr5BpHAzfNEGDdO5cXHBoCBVKfnFo00nyUJQZqigCSiJv9uZ3uk/s320/IMG_1005.jpeg" width="320" /></a></div><br /><p class="MsoNormal" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; margin: 0in;"><br /><br />I have cataract surgery coming up in a few weeks. The good news is that I will not have to wear glasses with the exception of at night for driving only.<o:p></o:p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; margin: 0in;"><o:p> </o:p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; margin: 0in;"> I had my eyebrows micro bladed as they no longer are showing up on my face.<o:p></o:p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; margin: 0in;"> I have lots of wrinkles. Those are my “life well lived” lines. I am keeping them, FOREVER!</p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjka5J-4wDPdAN_VGhO1gUcDb3L5Eqb822lEcBr5XML3mcZ0kmeH0cznzNE6lYI1ONUfJgtrky9JMLrSAhWxkTud9v0U4ia4BlyTEKt6YsRh1lommIrB2ZCplWXsgEgQIR91YHzO2XVL2MqsS_DvxSCYkgrQY8RN0flWzTUundYefQ4CBbCQ1snScv6jlI/s3088/IMG_0995.jpeg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="3088" data-original-width="2316" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjka5J-4wDPdAN_VGhO1gUcDb3L5Eqb822lEcBr5XML3mcZ0kmeH0cznzNE6lYI1ONUfJgtrky9JMLrSAhWxkTud9v0U4ia4BlyTEKt6YsRh1lommIrB2ZCplWXsgEgQIR91YHzO2XVL2MqsS_DvxSCYkgrQY8RN0flWzTUundYefQ4CBbCQ1snScv6jlI/s320/IMG_0995.jpeg" width="240" /></a></div><br /><p class="MsoNormal" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; margin: 0in;"><br /><br />I love sitting in my mushroom chair to play on my iPad, or read, or face time with my kids and grandkids.<o:p></o:p></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj9C7clUV-qJOd9hRO37Zt90dmQg_i3VRdl4rZG7ezNVD3n_MOj1qNJ6bQNX8NuLdW8m2a8lP3zn5qOUHR7Jvj8xWjNXDV2zWp41mYnW8bOcyxUzNrK83cR_z1bNlYgJyfQHk4Kr__EQ9tfJTHlSLVbP7Y7PQPAAKTrbM-fmvY-GxO68uEeRzOv-T9Qb-o/s4032/IMG_4765.jpeg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="3024" data-original-width="4032" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj9C7clUV-qJOd9hRO37Zt90dmQg_i3VRdl4rZG7ezNVD3n_MOj1qNJ6bQNX8NuLdW8m2a8lP3zn5qOUHR7Jvj8xWjNXDV2zWp41mYnW8bOcyxUzNrK83cR_z1bNlYgJyfQHk4Kr__EQ9tfJTHlSLVbP7Y7PQPAAKTrbM-fmvY-GxO68uEeRzOv-T9Qb-o/s320/IMG_4765.jpeg" width="320" /></a></div><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEheiGaaAbTyq3F01tjziNZWVJUM8nRLbnN4oP5e5IM3YsrzZxdj7Wv_Yx-od8gjoIWcdF-LM7gz0itAA079Rlp64oqJr7UEY06FqvLKxk5u14Pi5Tln-fKNxYUgKfgLbA8kInXKVXYbWAvFwraEbd3MOx0sk_HRW1G2tIBihjkPwLIp4F_8Cvak5zdYG-k/s4032/IMG_4779.jpeg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="3024" data-original-width="4032" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEheiGaaAbTyq3F01tjziNZWVJUM8nRLbnN4oP5e5IM3YsrzZxdj7Wv_Yx-od8gjoIWcdF-LM7gz0itAA079Rlp64oqJr7UEY06FqvLKxk5u14Pi5Tln-fKNxYUgKfgLbA8kInXKVXYbWAvFwraEbd3MOx0sk_HRW1G2tIBihjkPwLIp4F_8Cvak5zdYG-k/s320/IMG_4779.jpeg" width="320" /></a></div><br /><p class="MsoNormal" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; margin: 0in;"><br /></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; margin: 0in;">I still have my eternal companion, Mark. I love taking vacations with him. I love making him laugh, a LOT. I love finding new series to watch with him and finish it out as soon as possible. I can’t handle all the cliff hangers. I even sometimes go to the “spoilers” to know what is going to happen! I love our time together, it is always a fun place to be.</p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgYk4RP8ZYce2PW0mhtb2EgzRu5_1lLYmooH0bYSHZdpabq1sEkVmcu98xd5kF_lGcgCjG2sK2bxE2PDxi3HIrVjwh8WbgVbDBg20T09z6g0ArGU6RfnBVj3icXrmmdVUqjVySh_ny6wFCGQCO4JqiRBt9YxB2g-mnrZee6wsI3KYbXu_55YnCP2PVrvJY/s4032/IMG_0774.jpeg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="4032" data-original-width="3024" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgYk4RP8ZYce2PW0mhtb2EgzRu5_1lLYmooH0bYSHZdpabq1sEkVmcu98xd5kF_lGcgCjG2sK2bxE2PDxi3HIrVjwh8WbgVbDBg20T09z6g0ArGU6RfnBVj3icXrmmdVUqjVySh_ny6wFCGQCO4JqiRBt9YxB2g-mnrZee6wsI3KYbXu_55YnCP2PVrvJY/s320/IMG_0774.jpeg" width="240" /></a></div><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgtsYirUOBb8CRANg4UZNEAT0v-d3Oj_pSIlOyqfER6bYKS3lzVr_y1EEOaU0fs7-yOLYgwY4-nZ-Da6oLXpp7fyfUzbBMkimSmfkTmu5MtQUepcTm_oTjxv-aWGvJeC2YS3fKX5erkEbB8hjsxucFsaKY3Truo5Jzx2IjM13QBW1ZWECdLVRunZOEw2hs/s4032/IMG_4771.jpeg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="4032" data-original-width="3024" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgtsYirUOBb8CRANg4UZNEAT0v-d3Oj_pSIlOyqfER6bYKS3lzVr_y1EEOaU0fs7-yOLYgwY4-nZ-Da6oLXpp7fyfUzbBMkimSmfkTmu5MtQUepcTm_oTjxv-aWGvJeC2YS3fKX5erkEbB8hjsxucFsaKY3Truo5Jzx2IjM13QBW1ZWECdLVRunZOEw2hs/s320/IMG_4771.jpeg" width="240" /></a></div><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjgR21U_eqfMjI2pf-PsSUDFHByptE3GDEjIMlV_uhTCvwC1Jok91nvKh6Ix0RYcHmqWC77phgkrCbjzHeqAt5mowvfZuEVFfzAMaaDMq5uxNvKVaWDcF-neeOh8hiMLPTO3SwgA4_xYMGMXBZDQ1d6SgC0ZFspOuuoNL81IC-pjqUt1ptIox9_bLddwFc/s4032/IMG_1007.jpeg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="3024" data-original-width="4032" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjgR21U_eqfMjI2pf-PsSUDFHByptE3GDEjIMlV_uhTCvwC1Jok91nvKh6Ix0RYcHmqWC77phgkrCbjzHeqAt5mowvfZuEVFfzAMaaDMq5uxNvKVaWDcF-neeOh8hiMLPTO3SwgA4_xYMGMXBZDQ1d6SgC0ZFspOuuoNL81IC-pjqUt1ptIox9_bLddwFc/s320/IMG_1007.jpeg" width="320" /></a></div><br /><p class="MsoNormal" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; margin: 0in;"><br /><br />I am going to start serving at the Red Cliffs Temple for one shift a week. I look forward to serving there.</p><p class="MsoNormal" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; margin: 0in;"></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEguXNLjZf63ikNUoCMHvg-U2kyrxiXITF0thhCtQ2vUlVtCOMKtbgRxLpJI0BhskR37crLri6sMxDEPOB-rAVX2DYDYinkGi1En2O5auV4p4X9kTNULU1p4zGajVF2AdnOQEwCSQmw8_NtEPH_o8N4yXlt-cLLZR8vsJW1vrXXHkNVpWdRLMsIRXeVhyNs/s1121/IMG_1691.jpeg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1121" data-original-width="836" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEguXNLjZf63ikNUoCMHvg-U2kyrxiXITF0thhCtQ2vUlVtCOMKtbgRxLpJI0BhskR37crLri6sMxDEPOB-rAVX2DYDYinkGi1En2O5auV4p4X9kTNULU1p4zGajVF2AdnOQEwCSQmw8_NtEPH_o8N4yXlt-cLLZR8vsJW1vrXXHkNVpWdRLMsIRXeVhyNs/s320/IMG_1691.jpeg" width="239" /></a></div><br /><o:p><br /></o:p><p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; margin: 0in;"><o:p><br /></o:p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; margin: 0in;">My life, thus far, has been filled with incredible joy as well as heartbreak. I have learned to enjoy the fresh air and the beautiful moments that lie within the mountain tops of life, my children, my grandchildren, my family. And yet, I have learned to cope with the disappointments in life and the tragic loss of loved ones as I have journeyed through the valleys of death. I have mourned those who have departed this life, those whom I dearly love. And, I have especially mourned the loss of my Zach.<o:p></o:p></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhgUNx2UM8iWziVn05kn4rKp726SBj3yVUAOckQDIXn-bxtzwo3WQ4CbcaycVZEYQv3inTOcUMIdP3p9qX27Tfrk-Ou7dn6ABuLYMXQDdEgFCgYYK8cj09iSmnwInox1WMuV0cPI7ARApo6Tnaly8OHa91Clcb6CkLZr9k_Di7nBK4mZscSv_JyBdhKRK8/s1478/IMG_1601.jpeg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1451" data-original-width="1478" height="314" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhgUNx2UM8iWziVn05kn4rKp726SBj3yVUAOckQDIXn-bxtzwo3WQ4CbcaycVZEYQv3inTOcUMIdP3p9qX27Tfrk-Ou7dn6ABuLYMXQDdEgFCgYYK8cj09iSmnwInox1WMuV0cPI7ARApo6Tnaly8OHa91Clcb6CkLZr9k_Di7nBK4mZscSv_JyBdhKRK8/s320/IMG_1601.jpeg" width="320" /></a></div><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhZv_cmQahx9SKtWYetEkP-AAj8cZN6DIZcHy1DG4S3FlO8lzY2o941N9dUHHY57d4PtMmxvmrkpgNvNmU0JQDkF4Wva2bMimW1Ozp4ekLNTaVWIq0U9uXbvjUUmDJk_5qTdE23xYSEXU1svfuet3pvdVMAO_flenl3piUexEGtVrJrdgAJV1ZXWPB0WKc/s4032/IMG_1849.jpeg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="3024" data-original-width="4032" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhZv_cmQahx9SKtWYetEkP-AAj8cZN6DIZcHy1DG4S3FlO8lzY2o941N9dUHHY57d4PtMmxvmrkpgNvNmU0JQDkF4Wva2bMimW1Ozp4ekLNTaVWIq0U9uXbvjUUmDJk_5qTdE23xYSEXU1svfuet3pvdVMAO_flenl3piUexEGtVrJrdgAJV1ZXWPB0WKc/s320/IMG_1849.jpeg" width="320" /></a></div><p class="MsoNormal" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; margin: 0in;"><br /></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; margin: 0in;"><o:p> </o:p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; margin: 0in;">When we reach this “Senior Citizen” age, we simply do not know how much time we have left on this Earth. I will try my best to be kind, gracious, loving, and continue to enjoy this life. Goals. I always need to have goals and work on them. After all, I am a “work in progress,” even at 65.</p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi0MOpN5njOsZBqlXvOpMNQfNsUAfsb3rzuTyFgn54aEeTLR3UVRxsjwvPxclk2q7PmrrvLGFechFmN-nzru4cEDDQLyHwhqYGSTn3qtp608GvpfFpXNg5F_1gsPFj_DDAZDAb4MDUTe60WR7uNAKI_QmEtF6JnRAhuvNvCKP_hXw7zC2tXmsuIcCCWgfY/s4032/IMG_0998.jpeg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="4032" data-original-width="3024" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi0MOpN5njOsZBqlXvOpMNQfNsUAfsb3rzuTyFgn54aEeTLR3UVRxsjwvPxclk2q7PmrrvLGFechFmN-nzru4cEDDQLyHwhqYGSTn3qtp608GvpfFpXNg5F_1gsPFj_DDAZDAb4MDUTe60WR7uNAKI_QmEtF6JnRAhuvNvCKP_hXw7zC2tXmsuIcCCWgfY/s320/IMG_0998.jpeg" width="240" /></a></div><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj_Sh1etUtet-NDEN5y8l5nwYeV04ayzuxcgXvTgwlAK9AI-HyCR2e1aP3_YtDmSUb1MpCF0i1wWyNy_9wncH5Oh9cfdpL8pUkONSF5jdJcXRXSL-T0XjC5rcmOnzKMbP0oJb2F8BKmRdLB6Rw0Q_xrN9ZYZAgLzhx0LwLw6z27ZEMLymQcLcfzu6uKOZ4/s4032/IMG_1004.jpeg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="4032" data-original-width="3024" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj_Sh1etUtet-NDEN5y8l5nwYeV04ayzuxcgXvTgwlAK9AI-HyCR2e1aP3_YtDmSUb1MpCF0i1wWyNy_9wncH5Oh9cfdpL8pUkONSF5jdJcXRXSL-T0XjC5rcmOnzKMbP0oJb2F8BKmRdLB6Rw0Q_xrN9ZYZAgLzhx0LwLw6z27ZEMLymQcLcfzu6uKOZ4/s320/IMG_1004.jpeg" width="240" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgQ_ZFhGJTQVSLS4wrA5Poto_CObT-A0Pnjy18W9zMOKn_QM1iaESvZqHtxkZy5d4nuSYOWoIH8Z7wR1ctUkhRNMEc15yDXVSif8cObnOrLA_6XvR6xMyauujsVPHNb990LYO4ZpWk-wLygPVUNuWWSpYuXNbzT3k1-k7zpL18Q6e6EcHiV6GJhDMYKoBI/s4032/IMG_1002.jpeg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="4032" data-original-width="3024" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgQ_ZFhGJTQVSLS4wrA5Poto_CObT-A0Pnjy18W9zMOKn_QM1iaESvZqHtxkZy5d4nuSYOWoIH8Z7wR1ctUkhRNMEc15yDXVSif8cObnOrLA_6XvR6xMyauujsVPHNb990LYO4ZpWk-wLygPVUNuWWSpYuXNbzT3k1-k7zpL18Q6e6EcHiV6GJhDMYKoBI/s320/IMG_1002.jpeg" width="240" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">This is 65</div><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br /></div><br /><p class="MsoNormal" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; margin: 0in;"><br /></p>Rollercoastershttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09399672423366620095noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9189906569951686493.post-85658971805340745372023-12-11T08:05:00.000-08:002023-12-11T08:05:43.466-08:00On this, the 12th year AD<p> <span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt;">Zach’s angelversary: 12/11/</span><a name="_Int_b0sEkRcr" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt;">11</a></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; margin: 0in;"><a name="_Int_b0sEkRcr">If</a> you are a parent who has lost a child to death, then you are keenly aware of how difficult of a trial it is to traverse. The journey through that particular grief and pain is and will be a lifelong process. I could list the ways that have helped me as I have journeyed through my grief, but I have already shared many of those in previous blog posts. However, what I have come to understand and learn is this… I am not alone.<br /><br />Since Zach’s passing, I have met many parents who have tragically and/or unexpectedly lost a child to “death.” The losses have been from suicide, drug addiction, tragic accidents, or terminal illnesses. I have witnessed, talked with, and palpably felt of their grief. And through those particular experiences, I have come to appreciate and love these parents to the very depths of my soul. We have a bond through our losses, and I have personally been blessed and lifted by and through their faith. As I have passed through these various portals to witness the tragic losses others have had, there has been the great realization that I am not alone. And, these parents, my friends, are not alone.<o:p></o:p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; margin: 0in;"><o:p> </o:p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; margin: 0in;">Since Zach’s death was by suicide, I have had many opportunities to speak to youth about that very topic. When I hear of how many young people struggle with depression, their self-worth, with being friendless, or simply struggle with life in general, my heart aches for them. I want to offer my love and listening ears, to each and every one of these young people who are in the midst of their particular struggle. My young friends, PLEASE know this, you are not alone! I wished my Zach had known this.<br /><br />Through Zach’s death, I have learned empathy. One cannot have gone through the experience of losing a child without gaining a change of heart. That change of heart helps us to not only try to become a better person, but also enables us to be more sensitive, compassionate, loving, and service oriented. It simply helps us to be a little more Christlike. I know when I am being observant of my surroundings, I find opportunities to do some small act of service. Those moments in time give me pause to reflect and recognize that I just helped someone to understand that they are seen and are not alone. And in turn, I find that I have made a new friend. And once again, I find I am not alone.<br /><br />Life, as imperfect as it is, is full of lessons that humble us, teach us, and enable us to try to become the best version of what our Father in Heaven knows we can be. And this helps me to understand and know, I am a daughter of God. He knows me personally. His love for me is immense. He most assuredly wants me to know that He is always there for me, and to know that I am never alone.<br /><br /><o:p></o:p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; margin: 0in;">Zach died exactly two weeks before Christmas in 2011. That first Christmas was oh so difficult without Zach there. That first Christmas allowed for us to fully embrace the Savior’s birth. That first Christmas allowed us to ponder our Savior’s life coupled with the many lessons He taught, especially through His loving example. And of course, we pondered His death, His resurrection, and <a name="_Int_CzhGNmpg">His</a> incredibly beautiful gift of life eternal. Within the Savior’s teachings lies the beautiful assurance and promise that I will see Zach again.<o:p></o:p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; margin: 0in;"><br />Zach, I love and miss you each and every day. I purchased a new charm, for a necklace, that has angel wings on the front with your name and a <span style="font-family: "Apple Color Emoji";">❤</span><span style="font-family: "Apple Color Emoji";">️</span> on the back. You are our family’s angel, my angel. Because of that knowledge, I know you are near, and I know I am not alone.<o:p></o:p></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjzcIOnHDswJ_YAMx6MwQmUI4PI621xY56YIQ1q6k9R3L5AnY3eIhCJlKeO8x2MAZg8BDP2oX1t_IHmODtPS2-ISRVDb7SAP_l6wSK7_oKr4TM5whqhBAQr0Ocmp9R3Q6_eOYY0Dc021w-bsFM11oPGVDE9ug6d3A8wn0bXRC5HpLQB2nC97R10p4n6Sso/s1855/IMG_2819.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1855" data-original-width="1234" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjzcIOnHDswJ_YAMx6MwQmUI4PI621xY56YIQ1q6k9R3L5AnY3eIhCJlKeO8x2MAZg8BDP2oX1t_IHmODtPS2-ISRVDb7SAP_l6wSK7_oKr4TM5whqhBAQr0Ocmp9R3Q6_eOYY0Dc021w-bsFM11oPGVDE9ug6d3A8wn0bXRC5HpLQB2nC97R10p4n6Sso/s320/IMG_2819.jpeg" width="213" /></a></div><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiPIC1IS5dh0NT_DaL7C_tAOUBsDiZYJe6Ys20vWOfnxy_NcdaN_iq0qzVT3RXP8F4hmbnNZky-nnNGji86sDGJvskOtMZ5EnRTIQDDnzeD_J8mGF8l3Va7u_bIsXUirjIrCdEXQlvrMSMqGfY5L_A59dg0mD2BQa7671sB6lwyfHbFXRFfbrhIVtB8yCM/s4032/IMG_0897.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; 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margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="4032" data-original-width="3024" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgK-S2EEabrWR0b4brdZw7JA4lpIzFhZOFAPJ1jNWS9k9JfBmAkrHfVTwocuHJFQ2uQPGPVH2aq-pV_ZhlvInM-rxbSIzL8Cv6Dwfn3ux1ixUOaFLxnqRewt_gW1M0OoxwtMiBw4KW8AusTIWcZ9kOPnCWBpnHIkr0bGcuC_o1YN9uu5Fb8FstMcF1JWkg/s320/IMG_2821.jpeg" width="240" /></a></div><div><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><iframe allowfullscreen="" class="BLOG_video_class" height="266" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/NzEX3QMuVPM" width="320" youtube-src-id="NzEX3QMuVPM"></iframe></div><br /><div><br /></div><p class="MsoNormal" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; margin: 0in;"><br /></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; margin: 0in;"><br /></p>Rollercoastershttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09399672423366620095noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9189906569951686493.post-18982307239438193942023-07-26T19:10:00.004-07:002023-07-26T19:51:29.650-07:00Birthdays Come, Birthdays Go, Another Year Without You, and Another Year Closer to Seeing You Again<p></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span face="Calibri, sans-serif" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-size: 11pt; text-align: left;">25.</span><span face="Calibri, sans-serif" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-size: 11pt; text-align: left;"> </span><span face="Calibri, sans-serif" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-size: 11pt; text-align: left;"> </span><span face="Calibri, sans-serif" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-size: 11pt; text-align: left;">Today would be your 25</span><sup style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; text-align: left;">th</sup><span face="Calibri, sans-serif" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-size: 11pt; text-align: left;"> </span><span face="Calibri, sans-serif" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-size: 11pt; text-align: left;">birthday.</span><span face="Calibri, sans-serif" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-size: 11pt; text-align: left;"> </span><span face="Calibri, sans-serif" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-size: 11pt; text-align: left;"> </span><span face="Calibri, sans-serif" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-size: 11pt; text-align: left;">A quarter of a century.</span><span face="Calibri, sans-serif" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-size: 11pt; text-align: left;"> </span><span face="Calibri, sans-serif" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-size: 11pt; text-align: left;"> </span></div><p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; margin: 0in;"><br /><o:p></o:p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; margin: 0in;">I had a dream about you early this morning. I love when you are there, sending heavenly messages. Those dreams seem to tell me how much you love me. They tell me you are not far. They tell me you are watching over me, your dad, and our family. The feelings I have when I awake are often filled with emotions that stretch from A-Z, especially around your birthday and the day you left us. To say, “I miss you” truly can never convey the depth to which I do. I dearly miss you Birthday Boy, ok ok, young man!<br /><br />What gifts can I possibly give you being that you are in another realm?<br />- My promise to be a faithful disciple of Christ. <o:p></o:p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; margin: 0in;">- My promise to be loving and kind in a world that has become somewhat contentious.<o:p></o:p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; margin: 0in;">- My promise to work hard so that I can see you and be with you again.<o:p></o:p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; margin: 0in;">- My promise to attend the temple often. It is the place where I have felt the heavens open and wrap me<o:p></o:p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; margin: 0in;">in comfort and peace.<br /><br />I recently had a conversation with our granddaughters about those who die. I shared with them, how both Dad and I know, how happy you are. Brielle added “and safe.” Yes, you are both “safe” and “happy.” You are safe from the evils, trials, and all the unkindness that exists in this world. And yet, you are happy, happily engaged in the work that goes on after this life. I well imagine your beautiful infectious smile blessing those with whom you come in contact. These are the thoughts that comfort and lift my heart. With faith, hope, and love, anything is possible and achievable, even peace. <o:p></o:p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; margin: 0in;"><o:p> </o:p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; margin: 0in;">I will continue to keep my eyes on heaven. And when I notice that “twinkling” star I sometimes see, I will continue to think of you flashing me that brilliant smile (as I always do) and know that all will be right one day. <br /><br />Happy Birthday Zach<br /><br />PS: Your flowers were made by Brook and Brielle this year and I love their arrangements so much! They made them with so much care, thought, and love.<o:p></o:p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; margin: 0in;"><br /></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgCuLD3c3v0xv5gRWPckkRU5Qi_ELvaLu6fk8wVOo08kGVfM4aiiYGK_KgpVLHn4_keiDaRm43_SwEqfiKCy_e989QYkKmDxnDBBRFRaGgViiEwqgFooX4koHqJkCUykr0XXb4SZBCSRGOc_NXhnGof1NgrlfZcScxVQUcRp2lqHOPKPFcHNYCdzQM4JuY/s4032/IMG_0577.jpeg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="3024" data-original-width="4032" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgCuLD3c3v0xv5gRWPckkRU5Qi_ELvaLu6fk8wVOo08kGVfM4aiiYGK_KgpVLHn4_keiDaRm43_SwEqfiKCy_e989QYkKmDxnDBBRFRaGgViiEwqgFooX4koHqJkCUykr0XXb4SZBCSRGOc_NXhnGof1NgrlfZcScxVQUcRp2lqHOPKPFcHNYCdzQM4JuY/s320/IMG_0577.jpeg" width="320" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><iframe allowfullscreen="" class="BLOG_video_class" height="266" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/Tm8LGxTLtQk" width="320" youtube-src-id="Tm8LGxTLtQk"></iframe></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span style="text-align: left;"> Mark wanted me to add the Linkin Park version as they were Zach’s favorite band</span></div><p class="MsoNormal" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; margin: 0in;"><br /></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh6Bk62NJb239RsNU2gdM3ftA4PCHZivCvabNfNu_i4n_diPor1z4hVgnWD8-Vn9nh2ANbR1FK7t-uJHFg1xJpXsEO3ixvXahCA3rV4rVdGS8hzD6tAtC_N-3yL8LvnyKUF9TfFreU_gwarfPLKXSaBcev7l_jnYEHII1zl9Mdqcr3FbjmFUR5MavrHnGo/s1333/IMG_1594.jpeg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1333" data-original-width="1248" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh6Bk62NJb239RsNU2gdM3ftA4PCHZivCvabNfNu_i4n_diPor1z4hVgnWD8-Vn9nh2ANbR1FK7t-uJHFg1xJpXsEO3ixvXahCA3rV4rVdGS8hzD6tAtC_N-3yL8LvnyKUF9TfFreU_gwarfPLKXSaBcev7l_jnYEHII1zl9Mdqcr3FbjmFUR5MavrHnGo/s320/IMG_1594.jpeg" width="300" /></a></div><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; 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margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1077" data-original-width="1223" height="282" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjJpx0nKW02HyRzlD2dORmCwJIcNLuJrv_s_IENYGT2FGN5ZmuepPOHaFlYWn1fBi6KuhfhQFIt2FEsssrRTC0vyFGAI4CUekBNQB2TIlwuMqUPgcVeuxhQD2uZgCz8-IAO9dLaLJCJJFOq28_qGLj83mwk3GatuN0MxyERA-z3dJ5O9icSv5kD_wJz49M/s320/IMG_1609.jpeg" width="320" /></a></div><div><br /></div><br /><p class="MsoNormal" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; margin: 0in;"><br /></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><iframe allowfullscreen="" class="BLOG_video_class" height="266" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/HneFCDaeQNY" width="320" youtube-src-id="HneFCDaeQNY"></iframe></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">Zach was our light</div><br />Rollercoastershttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09399672423366620095noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9189906569951686493.post-48875907754656001112022-12-11T14:16:00.003-08:002022-12-11T14:17:02.380-08:00 My Little Drummer Boy and Trials<p><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt;">Today marks 11 years since Zach passed away on the 11</span><sup style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif;">th</sup><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt;"> of December, 2011. I think of Zach often, and this time of year I have had many thoughts and feelings stirring in my soul. This blog post, I felt prompted to share some of my most personal of challenges, aka “trials.” While each of our challenges and trials are different, my hope and prayer is that you will feel, you are not alone. I pray you can put your faith and trust in our Savior. For He is the one and only one who can carry you through those difficult storms.</span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; margin: 0in;"><br />When Zach passed away, I told God that that was my trial. That was it. The end. Done. <o:p></o:p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; margin: 0in;"><o:p> </o:p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; margin: 0in;">Not so.<o:p></o:p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; margin: 0in;">A few years later, another trial arrived. Mark underwent a surgery for a 3cm hole in his esophagus. It was touch and go, coupled with a long recovery and some long term “minor” issues. He passed through that portal of misery, with a little help from me, and has been trying to “run” ever since. I once again told God, ok, no more trials.<o:p></o:p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; margin: 0in;"><o:p> </o:p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; margin: 0in;">Not so.<o:p></o:p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; margin: 0in;">Little did I know that yet another trial was lurking in my genetic make-up. Another trial. I had been having various medical issues over the years with “unexplained” causes/diagnoses. A few months ago, I was diagnosed with an autoimmune disease, the culprit. In part, it causes chronic pain and enlists other diseases to attack my body. One of which causes crystals to develop in my body that in turn may cause tendon tears and possible tendon ruptures. I sometimes feel like Frankenstein when I walk…arms out and a side to side stiff legged walk. The medications I have been put on leave me immunosuppressed coupled with other side effects. Yes, I wear a mask when out of my house! My physician and I are still working on figuring out meds that will help, all the while I am doing all things to stay active and moving. As you might have guessed, I stopped telling God “no more trials!” Please understand, I do not share this for sympathy. I simply desire to express how important it is in this life to stay focused on the “eternal” aspects of life. Our Father in Heaven and our Savior Jesus Christ can and will guide us through these storms to bring us safely home.<o:p></o:p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; margin: 0in;"><o:p> </o:p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; margin: 0in;">Faith.<o:p></o:p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; margin: 0in;">I do not believe God points his finger and says, “let Me give her this trial and see how she does,” nor do I believe that we hand picked our trials before coming to Earth. The God I believe in is kind. He is loving. He is merciful. He is forgiving. I have great faith in my Father in Heaven and in our Savior Jesus Christ. Looking to our Savior, I can see how He suffered incredibly difficult trials, far greater than anything I could ever imagine. Most certainly, He suffered and endured more than any and every pain I feel now. Enduring our trials with faith will most certainly lead to a “spiritual” calm and a peace only our Savior can offer.<o:p></o:p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; margin: 0in;"><o:p> </o:p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; margin: 0in;">Imperfections. Gratitude.<o:p></o:p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; margin: 0in;">For me, what I have come to understand is that we chose to come to Earth to have an “Earthly” experience. We knew we would have trials when we came and we were able to “joyfully” accept that fact. We chose to have imperfect bodies, live in an imperfect world, and live amongst imperfect people. This life, albeit an imperfect one, is most certainly a blessing. Learning to maneuver through our imperfections is perhaps the greatest of opportunities we can have to grow closer to our Savior Jesus Christ and our Heavenly Father. As I am learning how to maneuver through my physical challenges, I realize more each day that my imperfect body is a gift. The body, my body, is truly a marvelous work and a wonder, and our Grand Creator gave me mine. Even when it does not work as well as I would like and sometimes fails me, I am eternally grateful for this gift. <br /><br /><o:p></o:p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; margin: 0in;">Zach.<o:p></o:p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; margin: 0in;">Eleven years ago today, on a Sunday, you left this world, our world. I miss your “So, How’s it been doing?” I miss going with you to get you a Baconator at Wendy’s, and having your Dad (the cardiologist) scold us every time. I miss your infectious smile. I miss watching you do Karate and you screaming the loudest when your Karate teacher, Aaron Reis, would get you to yell. I miss hearing you play the drums. I miss having you come up and randomly give me a hug. I just… miss ALL things Zach… I miss you! I will always miss you!<br /><br />I have thought about you every day since your passing. I have wondered if you realize how much I do think about you. I have actually pondered if you are still near and involved in our lives from the other side of the veil. Then this past week, out of the blue, I had an experience that let me know you are still involved in my life. I was checking out at Kneaders, and after this young woman rang me up, she asks me my name. I told her Wendy, and then she asked if my last name was Pulsipher. I told her yes. Of course, I had the question written all over my face, “how do you know me?” She then shared how her brother had Karate lessons with Zach and that they received their black belts together. She also shared with me that she still has Zach’s “RIP” bracelets along with sharing a few other things. I had to give her a hug and then thanked her with grateful tears. I do not know if she will ever know how she was an answer to my pressing thoughts about Zach. For me, you see, she was my little angel, Zach’s messenger, to let me know he is still around. Zach is our beautifully missed angel.<o:p></o:p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; margin: 0in;"><o:p> </o:p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; margin: 0in;">If you made it this far, I am grateful for your time. Instead of saying, “thanks for watching” as Zach used to say, I will say “thanks for reading.” Wishing each of you a Merry Christmas and a very Hopeful Happy New Year. </p><p class="MsoNormal" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; margin: 0in;"><br /></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj3ZgWCvvfV3E07NKFUxtP5lgpDHoSv7URMSCmN5hkV8XrmWTnELZlBiGu8-yvq8a-LFDJtULSLbyiHv4EId946FZAnr8-emhgkyweGnFr_7TTeQ5F4bw1MRvTPyxu11-2gi_-hy9TpLbqp5ubQ9CHqNTBoFPQChLIXThG_0q20RLvUevKtIl8yDPAK/s1290/8A89E4ED-159C-47CD-894E-A47B25CEDFF3.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="955" data-original-width="1290" height="237" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj3ZgWCvvfV3E07NKFUxtP5lgpDHoSv7URMSCmN5hkV8XrmWTnELZlBiGu8-yvq8a-LFDJtULSLbyiHv4EId946FZAnr8-emhgkyweGnFr_7TTeQ5F4bw1MRvTPyxu11-2gi_-hy9TpLbqp5ubQ9CHqNTBoFPQChLIXThG_0q20RLvUevKtIl8yDPAK/s320/8A89E4ED-159C-47CD-894E-A47B25CEDFF3.jpeg" width="320" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">Our Little Drummer Boy</div><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjn9JhfqWjb2ZbNBcQrEb2NH1sv7f7lfwX0D2-dm7x26lxIvonw7fNPF8wwK-Fe-_yPBiyvPyohfaftM0ymfqtjp5RH7J2YRH-rEJYY63BSXdwPRgyLvSzDneF6OA9BGLJYMTqZROY331pdWTWR5ObJbFMaOh1IcpDuBUNka44Scqa1o7Uq5ZzjRwgo/s1290/8BDDB9AC-FE6D-49C0-8CB9-2378AFE59993.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="962" data-original-width="1290" height="239" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjn9JhfqWjb2ZbNBcQrEb2NH1sv7f7lfwX0D2-dm7x26lxIvonw7fNPF8wwK-Fe-_yPBiyvPyohfaftM0ymfqtjp5RH7J2YRH-rEJYY63BSXdwPRgyLvSzDneF6OA9BGLJYMTqZROY331pdWTWR5ObJbFMaOh1IcpDuBUNka44Scqa1o7Uq5ZzjRwgo/s320/8BDDB9AC-FE6D-49C0-8CB9-2378AFE59993.jpeg" width="320" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">After earning his black belt</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><iframe allowfullscreen='allowfullscreen' webkitallowfullscreen='webkitallowfullscreen' mozallowfullscreen='mozallowfullscreen' width='320' height='266' src='https://www.blogger.com/video.g?token=AD6v5dwfvIfb3LR4jK8S5lKeKd4ZzNe1CtDtOfS4iFuPvY0GTeCcgMfwIjXNG3v9k4fojIA2PLtahbp2BQSlodIckA' class='b-hbp-video b-uploaded' frameborder='0'></iframe></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">Trying his hand at comedy… he was a better drummer!</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><iframe allowfullscreen="" class="BLOG_video_class" height="266" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/D5zBF-zPXpU" width="320" youtube-src-id="D5zBF-zPXpU"></iframe></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">For King & Country: Little Drummer Boy</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">I love all the percussion instruments</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br /></div><br /><div><br /></div><br /><p class="MsoNormal" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; margin: 0in;"><br /><o:p></o:p></p>Rollercoastershttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09399672423366620095noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9189906569951686493.post-58702651855727951702022-07-26T19:08:00.000-07:002022-07-26T19:08:04.995-07:00In My Dreams…..<p><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt;">Time.</span><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt;"> </span><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt;"> </span><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt;">Where is it going?</span><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt;"> </span><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt;"> </span><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt;">It seems like yesterday I was holding Zach in my arms, a new born babe.</span><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt;"> </span><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt;"> </span><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt;">And yet, his birth was 24 years ago.</span><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt;"> </span><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt;"> </span><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt;">It seems like yesterday when we found Zach’s lifeless body.</span><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt;"> </span><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt;"> </span><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt;">And yet, his death was 10.5 years ago.</span><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt;"> </span><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt;"> </span><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt;">It seems like yesterday when I watched Zach grow from crawling, to walking, to running, to talking, to snuggling, to loving, and to hearing him say silly things like, “that’s a Zach thing.”</span><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt;"> </span><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt;"> </span><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt;">And yet, it is the beautiful memory of Zach that lingers in my motherly heart.</span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; margin: 0in;"><o:p></o:p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; margin: 0in;"><o:p> </o:p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; margin: 0in;">Zach had dreams and aspirations. I had dreams and aspirations for him as well. And yet, those dreams were never fully realized. Or, were they? <o:p></o:p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; margin: 0in;"><o:p> </o:p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; margin: 0in;">After every YouTube video Zach made, he always made sure to say, “Thanks for watching.” And yet, do people fully understand how grateful Zach truly was? After silly videos he made and stored on his iPod, I hear his adorable laugh. When I hear or watch the drummer of a band, I hear Zach beating his own drums. And yet, those drumbeats seem to beat in rhythm with my own heartbeat.<o:p></o:p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; margin: 0in;"><o:p> </o:p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; margin: 0in;">An angel is what Zach was here on Earth. And yet, Zach is our heavenly angel now. At times, I have felt him so close I could almost feel his touch. And yet for now, we are a world apart. <o:p></o:p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; margin: 0in;"><o:p> </o:p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; margin: 0in;">God gives us love. God gave us Zach. He gave us Zach to love, nurture, and cherish. And yet, we had to give Zach back to God. For only God could heal Zach’s wounds and broken heart.<o:p></o:p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; margin: 0in;"><o:p> </o:p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; margin: 0in;">In a world where voices are loud and many want to be an expert on various topics, each of us would do well to stop…<o:p></o:p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; margin: 0in;">Watch the clouds roll by<o:p></o:p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; margin: 0in;">Smell the rain and fresh air<o:p></o:p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; margin: 0in;">Feel the calming breeze<o:p></o:p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; margin: 0in;">Listen to the chirping birds as they call to one another<o:p></o:p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; margin: 0in;">Appreciating the happy wagging tail of your puppy<o:p></o:p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; margin: 0in;">Discover the joy in grandchildren, their voices, their little hands that hold yours, and sweet little snuggles<o:p></o:p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; margin: 0in;">And, find peace in the sunset while finding hope in the sunrise<o:p></o:p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; margin: 0in;"><o:p> </o:p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; margin: 0in;">To understand loss, one must first appreciate and be grateful for the gift that was entrusted to you. And yet, we can allow ourselves to feel pain while knowing that our Savior is there to succor us and guide us through those storms. Remember the most important things in life are not things, they are family. Our hearts and eyes must keep the focus on what matters most.<o:p></o:p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; margin: 0in;"><o:p> </o:p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; margin: 0in;">In my dreams, I see Zach. In my dreams, I make him a birthday cake. In my dreams, we eat at his favorite restaurant. In my dreams, I sing Happy Birthday to him. In my dreams, I give him a big motherly hug. And yet, I know I will see Zach again. Because, I believe families are forever.<o:p></o:p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; margin: 0in;"><o:p> </o:p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; margin: 0in;">Happy Birthday Zachy boy!<o:p></o:p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; margin: 0in;"><br /></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; margin: 0in;"><br /></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><iframe allowfullscreen="" class="BLOG_video_class" height="266" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/gTD_wBEyC5o" width="320" youtube-src-id="gTD_wBEyC5o"></iframe></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">We can never forget this banana chair moment</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhA1E_ASj4RTJe41X9bLro9Wx6b8-Ieih2gFI8EqZ8j_bxlIYaR032u_4TuuLNdkRg0W2P8pgvQOgd5W8hk6B1DITqyAUWnC7_cbzUnMfVlZlSqVFg7MX1v8mJKAjnsuwRi2KQUQr4nxMBdFn5cFsFR99VMgzauo5QheX1l4Y0WATXiysm0y9lLHXgs/s4032/72A1FB98-9235-4619-87A2-1B04BA91EF35.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="3024" data-original-width="4032" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhA1E_ASj4RTJe41X9bLro9Wx6b8-Ieih2gFI8EqZ8j_bxlIYaR032u_4TuuLNdkRg0W2P8pgvQOgd5W8hk6B1DITqyAUWnC7_cbzUnMfVlZlSqVFg7MX1v8mJKAjnsuwRi2KQUQr4nxMBdFn5cFsFR99VMgzauo5QheX1l4Y0WATXiysm0y9lLHXgs/s320/72A1FB98-9235-4619-87A2-1B04BA91EF35.jpeg" width="320" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">Birthday flowers-made with love</div><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br /></div><p class="MsoNormal" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; margin: 0in;"><br /></p>Rollercoastershttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09399672423366620095noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9189906569951686493.post-90946209723996867132021-12-10T19:12:00.002-08:002021-12-11T06:02:49.162-08:00Ten - dash - dash - dash<p class="MsoNormal" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; margin: 0in;"><span style="font-size: 11pt;">Minutes turn to hours to days, and then to years.</span><span style="font-size: 11pt;"> </span><span style="font-size: 11pt;"> </span><span style="font-size: 11pt;">Ten, to be exact.</span><span style="font-size: 11pt;"> </span><span style="font-size: 11pt;"> </span><span style="font-size: 11pt;">While time seems to be fleeting, it feels like only yesterday when our Zachy boy left this earth and earned his angel wings.</span><span style="font-size: 11pt;"> </span><span style="font-size: 11pt;"> </span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; margin: 0in;"><o:p></o:p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; margin: 0in;"><o:p> </o:p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; margin: 0in;">How does a parent survive the pain of losing a child? How does a parent find their way through that pain? How does a parent process the grief? Or, wade through the guilt of not being able to save their child? How can a parent escape the grasp of despair and find their way on the path of life and actually live again?<o:p></o:p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; margin: 0in;"><o:p> </o:p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; margin: 0in;">For me, the path to finding the joy in life again has been a unique journey. Has it been an easy ten years? Hmmm… easy? Progression through grief and pain is never an easy road to travel. I found I had one of two choices to make. One-I can stay “stuck” and wallow in a timeless grief. Two-I can press forward with faith, serving, doing, being active, simply living. When reviewing the two choices, choice number two spoke to my heart, much more than number one. In my deepest of sorrows two days after Zach’s passing, I made a conscious choice to follow the path that would stretch me and mold me. I continue to be stretched and molded, even today.<o:p></o:p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; margin: 0in;"><o:p> </o:p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; margin: 0in;">I spoke of my faith and how that has been integral in progressing along my path. I have come to know and understand what it means to “look to God and live.” I have also come to understand and believe that those “mists of darkness” are my trials. And it is through those trials I have come to understand what it means to “hold to the iron rod.” “Line upon line, precept upon precept.” I found the breadcrumbs left on my path, and I followed them. Those breadcrumbs are what have nourished my soul. From scriptures, to hymns, to inspirational music, to temple worship, to attending church, and of course praying, these are all the glorious things that have nourished my soul. They have led me to a peaceful existence full of faith, serving, and yes, even joyful living.<o:p></o:p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; margin: 0in;"><o:p> </o:p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; margin: 0in;">Zach’s short life was from 1998 “-“ 2011. The dash represents his life. He truly was the cutest baby, investigative little boy, busy, innocent, full of love, and left his mark not only here on earth, but an indelible impression in the depths of my mother heart. I have the fondest memories of him, of his life, and what his “-,” dash, meant to me and those he met.<o:p></o:p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; margin: 0in;"><o:p> </o:p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; margin: 0in;">I heard a poem today that I want to share:<o:p></o:p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; margin: 0in;"><o:p> </o:p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; margin: 0in;">The Dash Poem by Linda Ellis<o:p></o:p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; margin: 0in;"><o:p> </o:p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; margin: 0in;">I read of a man who stood to speak<o:p></o:p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; margin: 0in;">At the funeral of a friend<o:p></o:p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; margin: 0in;">He referred to the dates on his tombstone<o:p></o:p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; margin: 0in;">From the beginning to the end.<o:p></o:p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; margin: 0in;"><o:p> </o:p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; margin: 0in;">He noted that first came the date of his birth<o:p></o:p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; margin: 0in;">And spoke of the following date with tears,<o:p></o:p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; margin: 0in;">But he said what mattered most of all<o:p></o:p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; margin: 0in;">Was the dash between those years.<o:p></o:p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; margin: 0in;"><o:p> </o:p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; margin: 0in;">For that dash represents all the time<o:p></o:p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; margin: 0in;">That he spent alive on earth<o:p></o:p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; margin: 0in;">And now only those who love him<o:p></o:p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; margin: 0in;">Know what that little line is worth.<o:p></o:p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; margin: 0in;"><o:p> </o:p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; margin: 0in;">For it matters not, how much we own,<o:p></o:p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; margin: 0in;">The cars, the house, the cash,<o:p></o:p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; margin: 0in;">What matters is how we live and love<o:p></o:p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; margin: 0in;">And how we spend our dash.<o:p></o:p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; margin: 0in;"><o:p> </o:p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; margin: 0in;">So think about this long and hard;<o:p></o:p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; margin: 0in;">Are there things you’d like to change?<o:p></o:p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; margin: 0in;">For you never know how much time is left<o:p></o:p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; margin: 0in;">That can still be rearranged.<o:p></o:p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; margin: 0in;"><o:p> </o:p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; margin: 0in;">If we could just slow down enough<o:p></o:p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; margin: 0in;">To consider what’s true and real<o:p></o:p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; margin: 0in;">And always try to understand<o:p></o:p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; margin: 0in;">The way other people feel.<o:p></o:p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; margin: 0in;"><o:p> </o:p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; margin: 0in;">And be less quick to anger<o:p></o:p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; margin: 0in;">And show appreciation more<o:p></o:p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; margin: 0in;">And love the people in our lives<o:p></o:p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; margin: 0in;">Like we’ve never loved before.<o:p></o:p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; margin: 0in;"><o:p> </o:p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; margin: 0in;">If we treat each other with respect<o:p></o:p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; margin: 0in;">And more often wear a smile,<o:p></o:p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; margin: 0in;">Remembering that this special dash<o:p></o:p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; margin: 0in;">Might only last a little while.<o:p></o:p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; margin: 0in;"><o:p> </o:p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; margin: 0in;">So when your eulogy is being read<o:p></o:p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; margin: 0in;">With your life’s actions to rehash<o:p></o:p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; margin: 0in;">Would you be proud of the things they say<o:p></o:p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; margin: 0in;">About how you spent your dash?<o:p></o:p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; margin: 0in;"><o:p> </o:p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; margin: 0in;">After hearing this poem, I realize I have so many things I have yet to accomplish. I have to do better when it comes to serving. I need to better show and express my gratitude. I want to be able to better express love for the people in my life. I want to be a better human in that everyone knows they are respected and feels safe in my company, in my home. I need my smile. A smile is a window into your soul. A smile can change not only how you feel, but also can brighten someone else’s day. I want to be that person. I need to be more intentional in “doing” those things to be that human. I feel these Christ-like attributes are key ingredients in the recipe for a beautiful, peaceful, and fruitful life.<o:p></o:p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; margin: 0in;"><o:p> </o:p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; margin: 0in;"><span style="font-size: 11pt;">At the end of my life, I hope and pray that those I love can say that I lived my “dash” well.</span><span style="font-size: 11pt;"> </span><span style="font-size: 11pt;"> </span><span style="font-size: 11pt;">When I see Zach again, I hope he says “Mom, I know that what you faced was hard, but I am so proud of you and how you lived your life.”</span><span style="font-size: 11pt;"> </span><span style="font-size: 11pt;"> </span><span style="font-size: 11pt;">I hope that each of my children and grandchildren can say the same.</span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; margin: 0in;"><span style="font-size: 11pt;"><br /></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; margin: 0in;"></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEhxUMHd1vd-csU5gfk6DAP0ALvDR-BVqQDcbVyu5fhIN3NXTTaCOJ7hpzG6qYDLioWHvbl_fNg_nILtEXd9meCicOfDfj7j02Bhq0Sk4kqWPo-jjmvczwlisgsT1kiCZCn8S5wewqtK6f-p2m8atWaE49SHlorrDQJT6gas-irhxjH68EUCFKMe8l_6=s1242" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="856" data-original-width="1242" height="221" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEhxUMHd1vd-csU5gfk6DAP0ALvDR-BVqQDcbVyu5fhIN3NXTTaCOJ7hpzG6qYDLioWHvbl_fNg_nILtEXd9meCicOfDfj7j02Bhq0Sk4kqWPo-jjmvczwlisgsT1kiCZCn8S5wewqtK6f-p2m8atWaE49SHlorrDQJT6gas-irhxjH68EUCFKMe8l_6=s320" width="320" /></a></div><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; 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margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1136" data-original-width="1240" height="293" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEgy1EIKvSiGy5vocdGom3js2pVQJqja_t2eQ7VBbg1noHmwPdjBvPpHMnH6X9EVtPz0BEJGO1R2foAUMHItn3WfG6Wc9xctPxur1Vc7Snf1p97y0NofQnuZ0B9gf4jC9qYn3OjuZbatzoy3Vz0TLkvZCk6UotrpL42rPddbltcN87VuLlPb86rgDWT9=s320" width="320" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">Enjoy this song</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><iframe allowfullscreen="" class="BLOG_video_class" height="266" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/qCdevloDE6E" width="320" youtube-src-id="qCdevloDE6E"></iframe></div><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br /></div><br /><span style="font-size: 11pt;"><br /></span><p></p>Rollercoastershttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09399672423366620095noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9189906569951686493.post-19335817075453876262021-07-27T19:10:00.003-07:002021-07-27T19:10:50.073-07:00A Bike, A Burial, and A Birthday<p></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-7hnZIMhukeQ/YQC7F-Nc06I/AAAAAAAADIc/A2EfUdj14Tg9El8fhIZbcpTW0L0DkVoTgCLcBGAsYHQ/s2048/3CC904B1-1E98-4795-B9DB-97CD4D93C99D.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1536" data-original-width="2048" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-7hnZIMhukeQ/YQC7F-Nc06I/AAAAAAAADIc/A2EfUdj14Tg9El8fhIZbcpTW0L0DkVoTgCLcBGAsYHQ/s320/3CC904B1-1E98-4795-B9DB-97CD4D93C99D.jpeg" width="320" /></a></div><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt;"><p><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt;"><br /></span></p>Two months before Christmas, Zach managed to talk Mark into giving him his Christmas present early, a bike.</span><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt;"> </span><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt;"> </span><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt;">Zach’s bike became a memorial of sorts after he passed.</span><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt;"> </span><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt;"> </span><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt;">Although it hung on it’s bike rack in the garage, there was just something so “happy” about that bike.</span><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt;"> </span><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt;"> </span><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt;">Maybe because it represented something Zach really wanted.</span><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt;"> </span><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt;"> </span><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt;">Maybe because I could watch him from the back patio as he would ride around empty lots and do jumps off little cliffs making my heart skip beats on occasion.</span><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt;"> </span><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt;"> </span><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt;">And maybe just maybe because that bike brought Zach “joy.”</span><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt;"> </span><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt;"> </span><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt;">How could I not look at that bike without smiling and feeling a morsel of joy myself?</span><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt;"> </span><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt;"> </span><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt;">And then, there was this one time when I was out of town and Mark had a flat tire.</span><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt;"> </span><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt;"> </span><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt;">Mark was on call at the hospital and needed a ride.</span><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt;"> </span><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt;"> </span><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt;">He pumped up those tires on that bike and rode Zach’s bike to work.</span><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt;"> </span><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt;"> </span><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt;">I imagine that Zach got quite a kick out of watching his Dad ride his bike to work… a bike that was much too short for Mark.</span><p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; margin: 0in;"><o:p></o:p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; margin: 0in;"><o:p> </o:p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; margin: 0in;">When we moved to our new home two years ago, I asked Mark what he wanted to do with Zach’s bike. He said “Let’s bring it.” And so, we did. We stored it in our new roomy storage room in the garage. After our daughter and her family (who lived with us for a little over 6 months) left, I went to clean up and clean out our storage room. I again asked Mark, “what should we do with Zach’s bike?” He said, “it’s time to give it to DI.” I packed up his bike and headed to DI. That was somewhat difficult. But with that “hard,” I knew I was now giving Zach’s bike to another young boy who needed to find jumps and find “joy.” I knew Zach’s bike would bring a smile and adventure to some young man. As fate or luck would have it, I happened to get behind a car that had a bike on a rack on the rear of their car as I was headed to DI. It actually made me smile.<o:p></o:p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; margin: 0in;"><o:p> </o:p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; margin: 0in;"><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-ZCg00ARe9PY/YQC6z8Oqu-I/AAAAAAAADIE/0HP9WhDnfQAWptIXYZRnm1Glje5wYA-pACLcBGAsYHQ/s2048/961797A4-3EC2-4936-BB9E-ECCBAE785BFC.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="2048" data-original-width="1536" height="320" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-ZCg00ARe9PY/YQC6z8Oqu-I/AAAAAAAADIE/0HP9WhDnfQAWptIXYZRnm1Glje5wYA-pACLcBGAsYHQ/s320/961797A4-3EC2-4936-BB9E-ECCBAE785BFC.jpeg" /></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><br /></td></tr></tbody></table><br /></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-R5sipwBA68k/YQC6z1O-hbI/AAAAAAAADIM/XZMTS67cKQkuZXua-mehLYg2KeB48VfPACLcBGAsYHQ/s2048/2F800BB1-2348-4148-8685-59FCCCE74014.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1536" data-original-width="2048" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-R5sipwBA68k/YQC6z1O-hbI/AAAAAAAADIM/XZMTS67cKQkuZXua-mehLYg2KeB48VfPACLcBGAsYHQ/s320/2F800BB1-2348-4148-8685-59FCCCE74014.jpeg" width="320" /></a></div><br /><o:p><br /></o:p><p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; margin: 0in;"><o:p><br /></o:p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; margin: 0in;"><o:p><br /></o:p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; margin: 0in;">Some may say I buried a memory by giving the bike away. That is not the case at all. Timing is everything when you bury someone you love, especially a child. <o:p></o:p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; margin: 0in;"><o:p> </o:p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; margin: 0in;">You need time to process.<o:p></o:p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; margin: 0in;">You need time to grieve.<o:p></o:p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; margin: 0in;">You need time to smile.<o:p></o:p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; margin: 0in;">You need time to cry.<o:p></o:p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; margin: 0in;">You need time to remember every beautiful and wonderful thing about their life.<o:p></o:p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; margin: 0in;">You need time to be grateful.<o:p></o:p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; margin: 0in;">You need time to be sad.<o:p></o:p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; margin: 0in;">You need time to laugh.<o:p></o:p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; margin: 0in;">You need time to find your “joy” again.<o:p></o:p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; margin: 0in;">You need time to find healing.<o:p></o:p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; margin: 0in;">You need time to serve.<o:p></o:p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; margin: 0in;">You need time to celebrate.<o:p></o:p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; margin: 0in;">You just need time.<o:p></o:p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; margin: 0in;"><o:p> </o:p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; margin: 0in;">It has been said “time heals all wounds.” I disagree. It takes time for a wound to heal. Some wounds heal quickly, while others take time. And after the healing, you are left with a scar. Some scars heal over nicely while others are sensitive and can be painful. My belief is that it is what we learned through the course of our healing. Did we take care of our wound? Did we put the necessary medicines on it? Did we change our dressing daily? <o:p></o:p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; margin: 0in;"><o:p> </o:p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; margin: 0in;">What did I learn from dressing my wounds?<o:p></o:p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; margin: 0in;">I learned and came to understand that I have a Father in Heaven who hears my prayers.<o:p></o:p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; margin: 0in;">I learned and came to understand that my Savior can succor my wounds.<o:p></o:p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; margin: 0in;">I learned that prayer, serving, and going to the temple were the necessary salve for my wounds.<o:p></o:p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; margin: 0in;">I learned that healing takes time.<o:p></o:p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; margin: 0in;">I learned to never take time for granted.<o:p></o:p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; margin: 0in;"><o:p> </o:p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; margin: 0in;">Don’t go through life feeling you need to bury the past. Remember how you passed through the storms of life. Remember how strong you really are. Remember you can do all things with the help of our Savior and our Father in Heaven. Remember, time is on your side. <o:p></o:p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; margin: 0in;"><o:p> </o:p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; margin: 0in;">Happy Birthday Zach!! I miss you each and every day!! In time, I will see you again.<o:p></o:p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; margin: 0in;"><br /></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><iframe allowfullscreen="" class="BLOG_video_class" height="266" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/gTD_wBEyC5o" width="320" youtube-src-id="gTD_wBEyC5o"></iframe></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">Here’s a little video to bring you some “joy”</div><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br /></div><br /><p class="MsoNormal" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; margin: 0in;"><br /></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; margin: 0in;"><br /></p>Rollercoastershttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09399672423366620095noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9189906569951686493.post-80126094283846750552021-05-09T00:19:00.000-07:002021-05-09T00:19:02.479-07:00When you think you have failed at being a mother, Mother’s Day comes<p><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt;">The greatest blessing afforded to me in this life has been four amazing humans who call me “Mother.”</span><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt;"> </span><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt;"> </span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;">I have some random thoughts about Mothers and Motherhood I feel like sharing.<o:p></o:p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;"><o:p> </o:p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;">Many mothers would rather not celebrate this day. Many mothers feel they have failed in their mothering. Many mothers may feel they have been forgotten. Many mothers are parenting alone. Many mothers have children suffering from physical illness, mental illness, drug addiction, or children in trouble with the law. Many mothers work to help make ends meet, and some even work two to three jobs on top of being a mother. The list of trials mothers may have and may be trying to endure is endless and not one of us endures any of them exactly the same.<o:p></o:p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;"><o:p> </o:p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;">WARNING: Do NOT fall into the pit of feeling like a failure.<o:p></o:p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;"><o:p> </o:p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;">REMEMBER:<o:p></o:p></p><p class="MsoListParagraphCxSpFirst" style="mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -.25in;"><!--[if !supportLists]-->1)<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-size: 7pt; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal;"> </span><!--[endif]-->Remember your “why” you wanted to be a mother. Most women have a sincere desire to become a mother. They want the opportunity to birth, cradle, cuddle, and love their precious little human.<o:p></o:p></p><p class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -.25in;"><!--[if !supportLists]-->2)<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-size: 7pt; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal;"> </span><!--[endif]-->Remember the little hands on your face, the sweet little kisses, the little hand sliding into to your hand, little feet, and the love swelling in your heart with these beautiful moments.<o:p></o:p></p><p class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -.25in;"><!--[if !supportLists]-->3)<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-size: 7pt; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal;"> </span><!--[endif]-->Remember when they needed stitches, when they scraped their knees, or when they bruised a body part. And remember, the ONLY person they wanted was “Mommy.” Mommy knows how to make everything better because she has a “Mother’s love.”<o:p></o:p></p><p class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -.25in;"><!--[if !supportLists]-->4)<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-size: 7pt; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal;"> </span><!--[endif]-->Remember teaching them to cook or to bake a cake. Their creation may not have tasted very good or turned out, BUT you were there cheering them on. WHY? Because. Because, you have a caring nature that has a desire to teach and nurture. Because, you possess the Mother’s love.<o:p></o:p></p><p class="MsoListParagraphCxSpLast" style="mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -.25in;"><!--[if !supportLists]-->5)<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-size: 7pt; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal;"> </span><!--[endif]-->Remember watching them grow into adulthood and begin to make decisions of their own. Remember when they left home for college, then married themselves, and began to have a family of their own. Whilst letting go was difficult to do, you could let go and watch their wings spread and take flight. WHY? Because, you love them with every part of your being.<o:p></o:p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;"><o:p> </o:p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;">The key ingredient each mother has is “love.” We love unconditionally. We love through the hard times. We love through the good. We love through their successes and even when they may fail. That is just what we do. And for those of us mothers who have had children pass on early in life, we love those special angels with all our heart. We oft times feel that hole in our heart aching, and I believe it is because they took that piece of our heart/love with them. When we feel that piece of our heart missing, I think our angels hold that special piece of our love right next to their angel hearts and give it an angelic hug. <o:p></o:p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;"><o:p> </o:p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;">What a blessing it is to be a mother and a Nana! I have incredible children who are doing their best to make the world a better place. I have seven grandchildren and one on the way. Grandchildren make my heart swell. If you have grandchildren, I am sure they make your heart swell too!<o:p></o:p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;"><o:p> </o:p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;">When you think you have failed at being a mother, Mother’s Day comes and is a beautiful reminder of “WHY” we do what we do… LOVE.<o:p></o:p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;"><o:p> </o:p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;">Happy Mother’s Day<o:p></o:p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;"><o:p><br /></o:p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;"><o:p><span> <span> <span> <span> <span> <span> <span> <span> <span> <span> <span> <span> <span> <span><span><span> More Than Enough by Shawna Edwards</span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span><span> <span> <span> <span> <span> <span> <span> <span> <span> </span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span><br /></o:p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;"><o:p><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><br /></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></o:p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;"><o:p></o:p></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><iframe allowfullscreen="" class="BLOG_video_class" height="266" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/P7EfJRrJueY" width="320" youtube-src-id="P7EfJRrJueY"></iframe></div><br /> <p></p><style class="WebKit-mso-list-quirks-style">
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</style>Rollercoastershttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09399672423366620095noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9189906569951686493.post-24648220466447783102020-12-10T19:11:00.002-08:002020-12-11T05:58:47.891-08:00It Is From the Depths of Grief We Can Find Our Strength<p> <span face="Calibri, sans-serif" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-size: 11pt;">I have so many “feels” this year as I ponder yet another year, nine to be exact, without our Zachy boy.</span><span face="Calibri, sans-serif" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-size: 11pt;"> </span><span face="Calibri, sans-serif" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-size: 11pt;"> </span><span face="Calibri, sans-serif" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-size: 11pt;">As I go back to that moment in time of</span><span face="Calibri, sans-serif" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-size: 11pt;"> </span><span face="Calibri, sans-serif" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-size: 11pt;">when we found Zach’s lifeless body, there are so many emotions that surface from that incredibly heartbreaking experience.</span><span face="Calibri, sans-serif" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-size: 11pt;"> </span><span face="Calibri, sans-serif" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-size: 11pt;"> </span><span face="Calibri, sans-serif" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-size: 11pt;">I well remember calling 9-1-1, the ambulance coming, the police arriving, the coroner to pronounce Zach dead giving us an approximate time of death, and then his lifeless body in a black body bag.</span><span face="Calibri, sans-serif" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-size: 11pt;"> </span><span face="Calibri, sans-serif" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-size: 11pt;"> </span><span face="Calibri, sans-serif" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-size: 11pt;">I kissed that young man of mine’s forehead before they zipped up the bag and wheeled him out of our home, his home.</span><span face="Calibri, sans-serif" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-size: 11pt;"> </span><span face="Calibri, sans-serif" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-size: 11pt;"> </span><span face="Calibri, sans-serif" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-size: 11pt;">For me, there truly could not have been a more difficult experience to go through and endure.</span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; margin: 0in;">As I ponder that moment in time with all the deep feelings that go with losing a child to death, I have found my journey through grief has proven to teach me countless lessons. I draw immense strength through those lessons and I have deep gratitude for what I have learned. <o:p></o:p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; margin: 0in;"><o:p> </o:p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; margin: 0in;">I have learned that tears are my friend. They are cleansing. My tears let me know I can feel deeply and that I loved Zach unwaveringly. Tears, they quietly speak what my heart is feeling.<o:p></o:p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; margin: 0in;"><o:p> </o:p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; margin: 0in;">I have learned that prayer is essential. Pray in the morning, to ask for help with your day. Pray at night, to offer your thanks for your day. And simply, have a prayer in your heart all day. I have found help with the simplest to the most difficult of things through prayer.<o:p></o:p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; margin: 0in;"><o:p> </o:p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; margin: 0in;">I have learned reading the scriptures offers understanding, comfort, and peace. I listened to an interview of a politician who is under scrutiny in regards to our recent election. What impressed me most was toward the end of his interview. He spoke of losing his son to drug addiction and how his faith in God has carried him through that trial. He also shared how reading the scriptures helps him not only with the loss of his son, but also with all the threats and chaos surrounding him. When asked if he could share a favorite scripture, he said he has been reading from the book of Psalms and that Chapter 37 in particular has been bringing him comfort. His story truly resonated with me. Because, there have been countless times when I have been reading the scriptures, or guided to read certain passages of scripture, or having a particular scripture come to mind, are when answers, comfort, and peace have come.<o:p></o:p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; margin: 0in;"><o:p> </o:p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; margin: 0in;">I have learned and come to appreciate how each and every one of us has trials. I have also learned and seen how the gospel makes a difference, offering hope. By having Jesus Christ in my life, the very foundation of my beliefs, peace and comfort have come. “Perspective.” Each personal experience I have had as I have journeyed through my grief has given me perspective, has elevated my faith with a promise for a brighter tomorrow.<o:p></o:p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; margin: 0in;"><o:p> </o:p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; margin: 0in;">I have learned that while life may not always be fair, God always is, because He is God! For every disappointment, suffering, pain, or heartache, He offers hope, He offers comfort, He offers peace. Those assurances can sustain and bless, if you will but turn your heart to Him.<o:p></o:p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; margin: 0in;"><o:p> </o:p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; margin: 0in;">I have learned to deeply appreciate life. To appreciate moments. To appreciate the ups as well as the downs. I have learned to appreciate the gift of family, the gift of friends, the gift of love. While my heart may ache when recalling a memory of Zach or by looking at a picture of Zach, I am grateful to know what a “Mother’s love” is. I am grateful for that son of mine. For all that he taught me in life and for all I have been taught and continue to learn through his death, I am grateful and blessed to have had thirteen and a half beautiful years with this incredible young man. Love is a gift.<o:p></o:p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; margin: 0in;"><o:p> </o:p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; margin: 0in;">Happy Angelversary Zach! You are loved. You are missed. And, I cherish each and every memory of you. Everyday.<o:p></o:p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; margin: 0in;"><br /></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><iframe allowfullscreen="" class="BLOG_video_class" height="266" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/xyX-I-um5Kk" width="320" youtube-src-id="xyX-I-um5Kk"></iframe></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">After Zach’s passing, I listened to this song countless times.</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">(I posted a video from Hillary Weeks “Beautiful Heartbreak”-if it doesn’t show up when </div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">Looking @ your iPhone, just go to YouTube & check it out-get some Kleenex!)</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-OOXHonLjSIs/X9Lgi4HppdI/AAAAAAAAC9U/KRWOXM48pX8BkZSa0a986m86PfQBKh3FQCLcBGAsYHQ/s2048/1D745B7F-AA5C-4D13-B127-2F5780111E3F.png" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1431" data-original-width="2048" height="210" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-OOXHonLjSIs/X9Lgi4HppdI/AAAAAAAAC9U/KRWOXM48pX8BkZSa0a986m86PfQBKh3FQCLcBGAsYHQ/w320-h210/1D745B7F-AA5C-4D13-B127-2F5780111E3F.png" width="320" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">Brooklynn @ Zach’s plot</div><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-_pf4mruV3fQ/X9LghxxEYII/AAAAAAAAC9Q/an0-l4tuPsAo3cvHWlm_E3X3_fW7O5uygCLcBGAsYHQ/s2048/7D575024-72C2-49C4-9465-EB1D358455BB.png" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1431" data-original-width="2048" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-_pf4mruV3fQ/X9LghxxEYII/AAAAAAAAC9Q/an0-l4tuPsAo3cvHWlm_E3X3_fW7O5uygCLcBGAsYHQ/s320/7D575024-72C2-49C4-9465-EB1D358455BB.png" width="320" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">Memory @ Aaron & Katie’s Wedding</div><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-wU7pGQdtkw0/X9Lgi3jKFkI/AAAAAAAAC9Y/3gdl4vM44pQj9vBLEAD31x5p8W1cf1RxACLcBGAsYHQ/s2048/68E9C5A0-EEA5-4F3E-9B3C-B4A6A529C110.png" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1431" data-original-width="2048" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-wU7pGQdtkw0/X9Lgi3jKFkI/AAAAAAAAC9Y/3gdl4vM44pQj9vBLEAD31x5p8W1cf1RxACLcBGAsYHQ/s320/68E9C5A0-EEA5-4F3E-9B3C-B4A6A529C110.png" width="320" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">Zach’s best buddy... his Dad</div><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-BgtZ36DcWac/X9Lgj6Y1uCI/AAAAAAAAC9c/bxMRyr6F8pQs8IbTDJdwJ6MFyi9wXkaZACLcBGAsYHQ/s2048/A2F854A3-D042-457F-B516-48361BB479F8.png" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1431" data-original-width="2048" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-BgtZ36DcWac/X9Lgj6Y1uCI/AAAAAAAAC9c/bxMRyr6F8pQs8IbTDJdwJ6MFyi9wXkaZACLcBGAsYHQ/s320/A2F854A3-D042-457F-B516-48361BB479F8.png" width="320" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">One of the last pictures we have before he passed</div><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-r4Y5q_Sa69M/X9LgmUTjyTI/AAAAAAAAC9g/bttMmcxeDfI2qQlsNqrNjStY5eytXYcmQCLcBGAsYHQ/s2048/BE63B8BE-6EA6-45A7-A0D6-E3639D61A516.png" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1431" data-original-width="2048" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-r4Y5q_Sa69M/X9LgmUTjyTI/AAAAAAAAC9g/bttMmcxeDfI2qQlsNqrNjStY5eytXYcmQCLcBGAsYHQ/s320/BE63B8BE-6EA6-45A7-A0D6-E3639D61A516.png" width="320" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">Always making us smile</div><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-gdj5PgM6-Lc/X9LgnBWaX6I/AAAAAAAAC9k/U3owSbUkW4Y33vraIf8fzX_AzpsWg1FewCLcBGAsYHQ/s2048/C76716EF-F7BF-4CE7-98FD-7F40AFD7EF07.png" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1431" data-original-width="2048" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-gdj5PgM6-Lc/X9LgnBWaX6I/AAAAAAAAC9k/U3owSbUkW4Y33vraIf8fzX_AzpsWg1FewCLcBGAsYHQ/s320/C76716EF-F7BF-4CE7-98FD-7F40AFD7EF07.png" width="320" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">Arrow of light</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-AJWWuXg9vAA/X9Lgv9mfpvI/AAAAAAAAC9s/d7UbMmUmWZgyI6q8JLpM6zwcg5IJPIz3ACLcBGAsYHQ/s2048/E50B2BA2-0101-459E-B871-2E8DBD633ED6.png" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1431" data-original-width="2048" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-AJWWuXg9vAA/X9Lgv9mfpvI/AAAAAAAAC9s/d7UbMmUmWZgyI6q8JLpM6zwcg5IJPIz3ACLcBGAsYHQ/s320/E50B2BA2-0101-459E-B871-2E8DBD633ED6.png" width="320" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">Zach’s favorite niece</div><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br /></div><br /><p class="MsoNormal" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; margin: 0in;"><br /></p>Rollercoastershttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09399672423366620095noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9189906569951686493.post-12822045865234221002020-08-17T19:28:00.002-07:002020-08-18T12:35:52.622-07:00 CoViD-19, Testing and Masks: A Matter of Compassion and Common Sense<p><span face="" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt;">I have seen many posts about stopping CoViD testing and declarations of “why” someone has chosen to “not” wear a mask.</span><span face="" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt;"> </span><span face="" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt;"> </span><span face="" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt;">Couple all of that with many posts of those who mock others who are trying to stay safe by wearing a mask, social distancing, and washing hands.</span><span face="" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt;"> </span><span face="" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt;"> </span><span face="" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt;">These particular posts also tell those of us who are trying to stay safe to “just let them live their lives.”</span><span face="" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt;"> </span><span face="" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt;"> </span><span face="" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt;">Those of us who have chosen to try and stay safe, and keep others safe, while being labeled as “sheeples.”</span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;">I want to address a few of these so called uninformed “declarations.” First and foremost, to “stop” CoViD-19 testing is ludicrous. To stop testing will, in fact, NOT make this pandemic go away. Testing does, in fact, help our healthcare professionals and scientists track and identify where the spread is occurring. If you could possibly have strep, what do you do? You get tested to know why your throat is sore with white spots all over. WHY? Why? Why then, I ask, should you not get tested for CoViD-19? If you could possibly be sick with the flu, what do you do? You get tested to know “why” you have all these “flu-like” symptoms. I ask again, then, WHY should you NOT get tested for COViD-19? When you stand on your soapbox attempting to get everyone to jump on your bandwagon for something you are ill-informed about, you are showing your level of intelligence on this topic… rather, the lack thereof. <o:p></o:p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;"><o:p> </o:p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;">The thinking that not testing for the disease can actually make it go away makes about as much sense as you not counting your birthdays to keep you from getting any older.<o:p></o:p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;"><o:p> </o:p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;"> If you are sick and are unsure what is wrong, but it appears you have many of the symptoms for CoViD-19, are you going to go to the ER or Urgent Care? If those healthcare professionals say, “we need to test you for COVID-19.” What are you going to do? If you are the one who is trying to lead many on the “Stop Testing for COVID-19” bandwagon, are you going to stand by your so-called beliefs, tell those healthcare workers no, and go home and tough it out? Remember, YOU were the one who chose your so-called “mission.” Maybe instead, you should try researching “why” testing is important and how it helps not only physicians and scientists, but our families, communities, and fellow human beings as we battle this unprecedented deadly pandemic. You may learn something.<o:p></o:p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;"><o:p> </o:p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;">Next on my list is MASKS. <o:p></o:p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;"><a href="https://www.cdc.gov/coronavirus/2019-ncov/prevent-getting-sick/cloth-face-cover-guidance.html">https://www.cdc.gov/coronavirus/2019-ncov/prevent-getting-sick/cloth-face-cover-guidance.html</a><o:p></o:p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;"><o:p> </o:p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;">Because we do not yet have a vaccine for COVID-19, the best thing we can do is to wear a mask, wash our hands, and social distance. When I wear my mask properly, I am saying that I care about you and am doing my part to protect you from me. I have seen a slew of “declarations” of “why” someone has publicly stated how they have chosen “NOT” to wear a mask. Their reasons are all “selfish.” Period. The end. What I hear you say is:<o:p></o:p></p><p class="MsoListParagraphCxSpFirst" style="mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -0.25in;"><!--[if !supportLists]-->A)<span face="" style="font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 7pt; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal;"> </span><!--[endif]-->It is more important for people to see my entire face because people need to see my smile to know I am friendly<o:p></o:p></p><p class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -0.25in;"><!--[if !supportLists]-->B)<span face="" style="font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 7pt; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal;"> </span><!--[endif]-->It is the best decision for me<o:p></o:p></p><p class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -0.25in;"><!--[if !supportLists]-->C)<span face="" style="font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 7pt; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal;"> </span><!--[endif]-->I just want to live my life the way I want… WOW… wouldn’t we all like to do that??!!<o:p></o:p></p><p class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -0.25in;"><!--[if !supportLists]-->D)<span face="" style="font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 7pt; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal;"> </span><!--[endif]-->The virus is a hoax – this is perhaps my favorite because it is so utterly ridiculous- let me help you out…<o:p></o:p></p><p class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;">Nationwide statistics<o:p></o:p></p><p class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;"> <a href="https://www.cdc.gov/coronavirus/2019-ncov/cases-updates/cases-in-us.html">https://www.cdc.gov/coronavirus/2019-ncov/cases-updates/cases-in-us.html</a><o:p></o:p></p><p class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;">Utah statistics by county<o:p></o:p></p><p class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;"><a href="https://www.cdc.gov/coronavirus/2019-ncov/cases-updates/county-map.html?state=UT">https://www.cdc.gov/coronavirus/2019-ncov/cases-updates/county-map.html?state=UT</a><o:p></o:p></p><p class="MsoListParagraphCxSpLast" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;">Do you really think our amazing healthcare professionals are really all about helping to mastermind a “hoax” of this magnitude, one that is responsible for over 170,000 deaths in the U.S. since it first appeared? Coronavirus has now become the third leading cause of death in our country, behind heart disease and cancer.<o:p></o:p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;"><o:p> </o:p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;">These are the messages you are communicating when you proclaim you will not wear a mask:<o:p></o:p></p><p class="MsoListParagraphCxSpFirst" style="mso-list: l1 level1 lfo2; text-indent: -0.25in;"><!--[if !supportLists]-->A)<span face="" style="font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 7pt; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal;"> </span><!--[endif]-->I do not care if your or my parents or grandparents have health issues. I am not wearing a mask around them.<o:p></o:p></p><p class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="mso-list: l1 level1 lfo2; text-indent: -0.25in;"><!--[if !supportLists]-->B)<span face="" style="font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 7pt; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal;"> </span><!--[endif]-->I do not care if your sister, mother, brother, father, whoever has cancer. I am not wearing a mask around them.<o:p></o:p></p><p class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="mso-list: l1 level1 lfo2; text-indent: -0.25in;"><!--[if !supportLists]-->C)<span face="" style="font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 7pt; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal;"> </span><!--[endif]-->I do not care if someone is immune compromised, I am not wearing a mask around them.<o:p></o:p></p><p class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="mso-list: l1 level1 lfo2; text-indent: -0.25in;"><!--[if !supportLists]-->D)<span face="" style="font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 7pt; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal;"> </span><!--[endif]-->I do not care if you are a healthcare worker and are exposed to CoViD-19 daily (my husband, son and son-in-law for example), I am not wearing a mask around them.<o:p></o:p></p><p class="MsoListParagraphCxSpLast" style="mso-list: l1 level1 lfo2; text-indent: -0.25in;"><!--[if !supportLists]-->E)<span face="" style="font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 7pt; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal;"> </span><!--[endif]-->I do not care if there are rules at a store to help protect the workers, I am not wearing a mask around them.<o:p></o:p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;"><o:p> </o:p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;">And, by the way, it was reported today that a previously healthy 7 year old child recently died from CoViD-19. A 30 year old man who attended a CoViD-19 party regretted his decision on his death bed, realizing this disease is not a hoax. <a href="https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=TrKXC-Ec-hI">https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=TrKXC-Ec-hI</a><o:p></o:p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;"><o:p> </o:p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;">Do you even begin to see the selfishness of your decisions? I do not care whether you are a Republican or a Democrat, as this is NOT a political agenda. What I do care about is when I see you lose your compassion for your fellowman. I think this is a time to reassess your values, your values as a human being. <o:p></o:p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;"><o:p> </o:p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;">For those of my faith, our area presidency reached out to every member in our area asking us to wear our masks. I believe they know something, and were given that inspiration to direct us and to help keep us safe. <o:p></o:p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;"><o:p> </o:p></p><div align="center" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;"><table border="0" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="MsoNormalTable" style="width: 600px;"><tbody><tr><td style="padding: 0in;" valign="top"><table border="0" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="MsoNormalTable" style="background-color: white; background-position: initial initial; background-repeat: initial initial; width: 600px;"><tbody><tr><td style="padding: 0in;" valign="top"><div align="center"><table border="0" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="MsoNormalTable" style="width: 100%;"><tbody><tr><td style="padding: 0in; width: 69pt;" valign="top" width="92"></td><td style="padding: 0in;"></td><td style="padding: 0in; width: 69pt;" width="92"></td></tr></tbody></table></div></td></tr><tr style="height: 0.75pt;"><td style="background-color: #eff0f0; background-position: initial initial; background-repeat: initial initial; height: 0.75pt; padding: 0in;"></td></tr><tr style="height: 0.75pt;"><td style="background-color: #eff0f0; background-position: initial initial; background-repeat: initial initial; height: 0.75pt; padding: 0in;"></td></tr></tbody></table></td></tr><tr><td style="padding: 0in;" valign="top"><table border="0" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="MsoNormalTable" style="background-color: white; background-position: initial initial; background-repeat: initial initial; width: 600px;"><tbody><tr style="height: 26.25pt;"><td style="height: 26.25pt; padding: 0in;"></td></tr></tbody></table></td></tr><tr><td style="padding: 0in;" valign="top"><table border="0" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="MsoNormalTable" style="background-color: white; background-position: initial initial; background-repeat: initial initial; width: 600px;"><tbody><tr><td style="padding: 0in 18.75pt;" valign="top"><div align="center"><table border="0" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="MsoNormalTable" style="width: 100%;"><tbody><tr><td style="padding: 0in;" valign="top"><p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 16.5pt;"><span style="color: #222325; font-size: 10pt;">Dear Brothers and Sisters:<o:p></o:p></span></p></td></tr><tr style="height: 15pt;"><td style="height: 15pt; padding: 0in;"></td></tr><tr><td style="padding: 0in;" valign="top"><p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 16.5pt;"><span style="color: #222325; font-size: 10pt;">We are in the midst of a global pandemic unlike any the world has experienced in more than a century. The effects of this escalating health crisis are being felt everywhere, with incidents of COVID-19 infection rising dramatically especially in the United States, including in Utah. Latter-day Saints are not immune. Just today, more than 800 new infections were reported in our state.<o:p></o:p></span></p></td></tr><tr style="height: 15pt;"><td style="height: 15pt; padding: 0in;"></td></tr><tr><td style="padding: 0in;" valign="top"><p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 16.5pt;"><span style="color: #222325; font-size: 10pt;">A growing chorus of medical authorities has confirmed that the simple wearing of a face covering when in public and when social distancing is not possible will significantly reduce the spread of COVID-19. This is true both indoors and outdoors.<o:p></o:p></span></p></td></tr><tr style="height: 15pt;"><td style="height: 15pt; padding: 0in;"></td></tr><tr><td style="padding: 0in;" valign="top"><p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 16.5pt;"><span style="color: #222325; font-size: 10pt;">We note with appreciation the care exhibited by our members in returning to sacrament meetings wearing face masks. </span><span style="color: red; font-size: 10pt;">Now we ask all Latter-day Saints in the Utah Area to be good citizens by wearing face coverings when in public. Doing so will help promote the health and general welfare of all. </span><span style="color: #222325; font-size: 10pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></p></td></tr><tr style="height: 15pt;"><td style="height: 15pt; padding: 0in;"></td></tr><tr><td style="padding: 0in;" valign="top"><p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 16.5pt;"><span style="color: #222325; font-size: 10pt;">We are most grateful for all you do to minister to one another and to your neighbors. Please join with us now in common purpose for the blessing and benefit of all.<o:p></o:p></span></p></td></tr></tbody></table></div></td></tr></tbody></table></td></tr></tbody></table></div><p class="MsoNormal" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;"><o:p> </o:p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;">Before you post something you really know nothing about, DO.YOUR.HOMEWORK! Don’t make an unintelligent statement just because you think you are going to start a trend or try to raise a banner about it. Be sure you have your facts from a reliable, objective, fact based resource.<o:p></o:p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;"><o:p> </o:p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;">Remember, this is not only about you, BUT most assuredly this is about how we can help everyone around us, including those we love the most, survive this pandemic.<o:p></o:p></p><style class="WebKit-mso-list-quirks-style">
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</style>Rollercoastershttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09399672423366620095noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9189906569951686493.post-82414680278710590972020-07-26T14:06:00.013-07:002020-07-26T18:22:22.163-07:00The StRaW That Broke The Camels BaCk and then some….<span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt;"> </span><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt;">Hello from Sunny St. George!</span><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt;"> </span><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt;"> </span><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt;">I have not written in a while, as… well… there has not been much to write about.</span><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt;"> </span><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt;"> </span><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt;">That really is not entirely true, but I have needed to have time to gather my thoughts in order to put my heart out there in words.</span><p class="MsoNormal" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; margin: 0in;"><o:p></o:p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; margin: 0in;"><o:p> </o:p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; margin: 0in;">The world seems to be spinning out of control with plagues, pestilence, and violence. We watch the news and are shown many instances of how people are negative, angry, and even depressed. We go to the grocery store where many of the shelves are emptied of the essential needed items. I see many of my friends on social media who are struggling with life threatening illnesses. These are hard and heart heavy times both in our world and for many of us in our personal lives. The likes which I have never before seen in my lifetime.<o:p></o:p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; margin: 0in;"><o:p> </o:p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; margin: 0in;">H.O.P.E!!<o:p></o:p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; margin: 0in;">Here are some awesome acronyms for HOPE:<o:p></o:p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; margin: 0in;">Helping Other People Everyday<o:p></o:p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; margin: 0in;">Hold On, Peace Exists<o:p></o:p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; margin: 0in;">Helping Other People Enthusiastically <o:p></o:p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; margin: 0in;">Have Only Positive Expectations<o:p></o:p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; margin: 0in;">Hold Onto Prayer Everyday<o:p></o:p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; margin: 0in;">He Offers Peace Eternally<o:p></o:p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; margin: 0in;"><o:p> </o:p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; margin: 0in;">I believe you know where I am headed. Each and everyday each of us is faced with some sort of trial. The trial can be from some one simply cutting you off while driving, to losing a job, to having familial difficulties, or to having health trials. Whatever our trials, we must not lose our “HOPE!” I believe “hope” is a very real part of our soul’s make up. Hope is the very reason we can press on. Hope is knowing that life will be better tomorrow. Hope is the very essence of my faith. <o:p></o:p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; margin: 0in;"><o:p> </o:p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; margin: 0in;">Life has thrown Mark and me many trials the past few months. It has been both stressful and depressing, and yet we seem to see many blessings that have offered us the “hope” we have needed to cling to. Back in May, Mark had an esophagram to see if his esophagus still had a leak. And yes, it did. The physician decided to put a G-tube into his stomach where he would feed himself for the next two months. He was to be “strict NPO,” meaning no food or fluids via his mouth. This makes me think of a Monty Python line with the Black Night when he said, “None shall pass!” In two months, the physician would order another esophagram to see if the leak had gotten smaller or had closed off.<o:p></o:p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; margin: 0in;"><o:p> </o:p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; margin: 0in;">Two months later, the leak had decreased significantly. Significantly enough, Mark has been able to begin eating again. He is on trial for a few weeks with food to make sure 1) he can tolerate eating and 2) his blood work stays stable. During the past two months because of Mark’s nutrition, he has had a couple of physical trials. The first trial is the tendon in Mark’s shoulder has completely detached. This is the same shoulder that had a FULL replacement back in November. UGH! The second physical trial happened a few weeks ago when Mark felt something crack in his back-this would be the STRAW that broke the camel’s back! UGH! After an MRI it was found that he had not ONE, but had TWO compression fractures at T8 and T9. He was in a lot of pain and yet he still pressed on and went to work. Mark really gives meaning to “he takes a licking and keeps on ticking.”<o:p></o:p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; margin: 0in;"><o:p> </o:p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; margin: 0in;">Mark had a really tough 5-6 hour case this past week. After he finished, he realized he needed to get his back fixed asap. On Thursday, he had a procedure called Kyphoplasty (Google it or YouTube it) done. Basically, they inject cement into those spaces offering him much relief. He still has some pain, but it is post-procedural pain. HOPEfully, he will be feeling much better by Monday. I am so grateful for modern day medicine and the things that can be done to improve our everyday quality of life. We continue to see the light at the end of the tunnel-HOPE. That is the latest update on Mark.</p><p class="MsoNormal" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; margin: 0in;"><o:p> </o:p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; margin: 0in;">Monday, July 27<sup>th</sup>, would be Zach’s 22<sup>nd</sup> birthday. As I was walking out of the hospital on Thursday after Mark’s procedure, I walked past the Narrows Conference Room where a plaque says “In celebration of Zachary Thomas Pulsipher” hangs. As I stared at that for a moment, I got choked up. It truly brings both Mark and I so much joy to see that sign hanging there. We not only remember Zach on his birthday or other holidays, but we remember him, think about him, and deeply miss him each and every day. However, we focus on the joy he brought us while he was here. We remember his laugh, his hugs, and his love. Our biggest hopes and dreams are to see him and be with him again in the eternities. It is up to Mark and I to try and earn that privilege and blessing. Happy Birthday big boy!!! Our Zachy boy.<o:p></o:p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; margin: 0in;"><br /></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-_hyXGaZLdk8/Xx4sPlyInVI/AAAAAAAAC3w/aJZRthVEzLULfb1nhbPzydhtdicW6-ZhQCLcBGAsYHQ/s1242/47CA8D69-B2C9-45D4-9B5C-002F4B343877.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="998" data-original-width="1242" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-_hyXGaZLdk8/Xx4sPlyInVI/AAAAAAAAC3w/aJZRthVEzLULfb1nhbPzydhtdicW6-ZhQCLcBGAsYHQ/s320/47CA8D69-B2C9-45D4-9B5C-002F4B343877.jpeg" width="320" /></a></div><p class="MsoNormal" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; margin: 0in;"><br /></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"></div></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; text-align: left;"> </span></div><p class="MsoNormal" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; margin: 0in;"></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><iframe allowfullscreen="" class="BLOG_video_class" height="266" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/gTD_wBEyC5o" width="320" youtube-src-id="gTD_wBEyC5o"></iframe></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">Zach’s famous banana chair video</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><iframe allowfullscreen="" class="BLOG_video_class" height="266" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/b7B0RhfD0BQ" width="320" youtube-src-id="b7B0RhfD0BQ"></iframe></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">Zach videoing Andy after putting a teaspoonful of Wasabi in his mouth</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">I LOVE hearing Zach’s laugh... even still</div><o:p><br /></o:p><p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; margin: 0in;"><o:p><br /></o:p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; margin: 0in;">I want to close with these two acronyms for H.O.P.E:<o:p></o:p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; margin: 0in;">Hold Onto Prayer Everyday<o:p></o:p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; margin: 0in;"> Just pray! Everyday pray! Not only pray for the things you are in need of, but pray for those who need your prayers as well. I feel I have been deeply blessed and given many calm reassurances (hope) that “things will be alright.” Heavenly Father wants to hear from you. Prayer is your way to call home and communicate your heart.<o:p></o:p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; margin: 0in;"><o:p> </o:p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; margin: 0in;">He Offers Peace Eternally<o:p></o:p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; margin: 0in;"> When I see this particular acronym, I think of this scripture:<o:p></o:p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; margin: 0in;"><span style="background-color: white; background-position: initial initial; background-repeat: initial initial; color: #0d0f10;">“Peace I leave with you, my peace I give unto you: not as the world giveth, give I unto you. Let not your heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid” (</span><a href="https://www.churchofjesuschrist.org/study/scriptures/nt/john/14.26-27?lang=eng#p26"><span style="border: 1pt none; color: blue; padding: 0in; text-decoration: none;">John 14:26–27</span></a><span style="background-color: white; background-position: initial initial; background-repeat: initial initial; color: #0d0f10;">).<o:p></o:p></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; margin: 0in;"><span style="background-color: white; background-position: initial initial; background-repeat: initial initial; color: #0d0f10;"><o:p> </o:p></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; margin: 0in;"><span style="background-color: white; background-position: initial initial; background-repeat: initial initial; color: #0d0f10;">Be kind. Be caring. Be loving. Be prayerful. Be Christlike.<o:p></o:p></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; margin: 0in;"><span style="background-color: white; background-position: initial initial; background-repeat: initial initial; color: #0d0f10;">And, keep the light of H.O.P.E shining bright in your heart. </span><span style="font-family: "times new roman", serif; font-size: 12pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; margin: 0in;"><span style="background-color: white; background-position: initial initial; background-repeat: initial initial; color: #0d0f10;"><br /></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; margin: 0in;"></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><iframe allowfullscreen="" class="BLOG_video_class" height="266" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/v3e1lz0Ghp8" width="320" youtube-src-id="v3e1lz0Ghp8"></iframe></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br /></div><span style="background-color: white; background-position: initial initial; background-repeat: initial initial; color: #0d0f10;"><br /></span><p></p>Rollercoastershttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09399672423366620095noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9189906569951686493.post-27138582533972471942020-03-18T19:00:00.000-07:002020-07-26T14:15:57.123-07:00It is when you think you “can’t,” you find you can<span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 11pt;">Three and a half weeks ago, Mark underwent surgery for his esophageal perforation.</span><span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 11pt;"> </span><span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 11pt;"> </span><span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 11pt;">Three and a half weeks!!!</span><span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 11pt;"> </span><span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 11pt;"> </span><span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 11pt;">After his surgery, I well remember his surgeon tell me that day three through day eight were going to be “critical” days.</span><span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 11pt;"> </span><span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 11pt;"> </span><br />
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Day three came in with a vengeance! When Dr. Manwaring came in to round on Mark, Mark asked him, “Am I going to make it?” I think this question stunned Dr. Manwaring and he told Mark with great assurances, he would. One thing you have to know about Mark is that he is not the dramatic type. He is a no nonsense, let’s get to the point kind of person, and most always has a level head in any given situation. And yet, he married his polar opposite, me!<o:p></o:p></div>
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Not more than an hour later after Dr. Manwaring’s visit, Mark looked at me and told me, “I don’t know if I am going to make it.” He also told a friend of ours, Kelly Taysom, “I know something is wrong, and I am not sure I’m going to make it.” I went out of the room and tearfully told Kelly, “I can’t do this again! I can’t bury another member of my family.” After receiving a priesthood blessing, I remember the impression I received. “I can do this. I can do hard things. No matter what, I have the faith to march through the toughest situations. Have faith in the plan.” I felt a calm reassurance that “whatever happens,” everything will be alright. “I can” do all things through my faith in our Savior Jesus Christ.<o:p></o:p></div>
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Obviously, Mark made it through those days. We have also come to learn that what Mark was feeling that day was most likely a post-surgical leak from his repair. Dr. Gardner explained that one of the post-surgery complications would be a leak and that he may have to go back in one to two more times to adjust the drain. However, Mark’s symptoms began to subside, and slowly he began to improve each day. Then, he was finally released from the hospital with his feed tube, his PICC line, and his Penrose drain to allow residual infection to drain from his neck. ALL of his medical needs were now going to fall on me! He does have “Home Health.” But, guess what? They only come twice a week!! How dare them!!!!! I looked at him and said, “I can’t do all that!!!” I am not a fan of needles, blood, or guts. As a matter of fact, I get quite woozy when I have to even have a shot. Placing the care of someone’s life, my husband, in my hands, is daunting to say the least.<o:p></o:p></div>
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For you medical people reading this, I am sorry! Just remember, I did not get a degree in medicine! <o:p></o:p></div>
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Now, let me explain some of Mark’s medical needs with my minuscule medical knowledge. Mark has to have his feed bag and flush bag changed once a day, aka his “Joey pack.” He has to have his delicious liquid food replenished twice a day. He has to have his medications crushed, liquified, and then flushed down his feed tube. We can’t forget the pump that has to have the tubes installed just so, flushed, run, and repeat. Then, there is his Penrose drain. The dressing has to be changed, and the wound cared for. Did you know underneath his dressing is a hole in his neck with a drain coming out? Wound care is also part of Mark’s medical necessities. I put gloves on, remove the dressing with alcohol wipes, irrigate the wound site with hydrogen peroxide, change gloves, rub barrier film on his skin before I apply new gauze with tape. Let’s move on to the PICC line. Taking care of the PICC line causes me serious anxiety. He has three lumens for his particular PICC line. He has a white, gray, and a red one. For each lumen, I must remove the light blue cap, clean with an alcohol wipe, flush the line, heparin lock the line, and then put a new light blue cap on. He also requires having antibiotics infused once every day through the gray line. For this, I need to remove the antibiotics from the fridge to warm it up just a bit. When it is ready, I must remove the light blue cap, clean with an alcohol wipe, flush the line, then attach the antibiotics. Before flushing ANY of the lines I must always remember to unclamp the clamp, and clamp when done. The good news is that I have not caused any harm to Mark. I am the best he has, poor man!<o:p></o:p></div>
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HOW did I learn this stuff?? Our angel daughter, Rachel, came down to care for her Dad. Rachel has a degree in nursing and her specialty is “critical care.” She literally did everything to care for her Dad and more. I must say she is light years better than I ever could dream(but, I really do not dream of being a nurse-remember that I dislike needles…), but she does have a degree in nursing after all! She got up in the middle of the night to administer meds when he needed them. When he needed anything, she knew exactly what to do. Me, I was on the sidelines taking care of the grandkids. I am a professional Nana and know how to take care of the babies~easy peasy!<o:p></o:p></div>
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However, it became apparent that Mark was not going to lose his feed tube any time soon, nor his PICC line, nor his Penrose drain. We could not expect Rach to stay down here for the duration of Mark’s medical care. So, Rachel patiently taught me how to care for Mark, my husband, her father. I probably was not her best trainee, but I tried my best to learn what I need to do. I still get freaked out when there is a baby bubble in the syringe, or “thinking” that I accidentally touched the hub to one of his port lines (there goes another alcohol wipe), or looking at the drain and having to clean it (my stomach is a little off even thinking about it). Rachel was the angel we needed to get us through Mark’s first week and a half home.<o:p></o:p></div>
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While I wished Rachel was still here to take care of Mark, I have faced my “I can’t” and have found “I can.” I did tell Mark, “I hope I never have to do this again!” Perspective… he said, “I hope <i>I</i> never have to do this again.” When you love someone, it is remarkable to see what you “can” do during those crisis moments in time. In finding my “I can,” I have found how my faith has grown and has been refined. <o:p></o:p></div>
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Mark’s update:<o:p></o:p></div>
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He still has his tube feed. I call his IV poll with his Joey bags and pump his girlfriend. Mark has told me that he is NOT fond of her.<o:p></o:p></div>
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He still has his PICC line. He will have this for probably three to four more weeks as he has to have his antibiotics infused through the line once a day to treat any residual infection, and blood drawn from it twice a week. I will be glad to see that thing GONE!!! <o:p></o:p></div>
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He still has the Penrose drain in his neck. He goes tomorrow to have the drain advanced. We are hoping that when Dr. Gardner advances the drain that it actually comes the rest of the way out. If it does, Mark will then have another esophagram. If the esophagram shows no leak (and we are praying vigilantly for that), they will do a swallow study. And from there, the sky is the limit, right?!!<o:p></o:p></div>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Mark’s Penrose drain (he would kill me, but thought you all need to see what this is)</td></tr>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">My handy dandy ultimate pill crusher</td></tr>
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Rollercoastershttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09399672423366620095noreply@blogger.com10tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9189906569951686493.post-23997444486021182362020-03-01T16:45:00.004-08:002020-03-01T17:23:39.471-08:00When all you can do is to: “Have Faith in the Plan”<span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 11pt;">I have actually started and restarted this post countless times, and finally decided to get this posted today, Sunday. Since this post has a lot to do with Mark, he wanted to read it and approve it. But, he does not have the energy nor focus to do so.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 11pt;">So today... I am writing from the hospital room of my best friend, sweetheart, husband, Mark.</span><span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 11pt;"> </span><span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 11pt;">I find writing and sharing my feelings therapeutic.</span><span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 11pt;"> The message that has come to me nearly everyday through the past few weeks is: Have Faith in the Plan. </span><span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 11pt;">I hope I am able to convey this message well, and that maybe just maybe, this message will help at least one of you to find your faith and “Have Faith in the Plan.”</span><br />
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Without going into ALL the details that have lead to this point, I will just give a summary of what is going on. In 2008, Mark had a four level C-spine fusion of C3-C7. In 2010, the titanium plate fractured. At that point, we traveled to Duke University for more surgery. Where the plate had fractured, the broken screws acted like windshield wipers and eroded away the vertebral body at C5-C6. The surgeon removed the lower portion of the fractured plate, inserted a bone plug, and put a plate on to overlap where the plate had broken, then fusing him from C3-T1. He then rolled him over and placed two rods in his neck from C5-T1. That was an extremely difficult surgery for Mark to recover from. But remember… he is a marathon runner.<o:p></o:p></div>
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In 2011, Zach passed away. I have written many blog posts about my feelings of loss. But most of all, I feel I have written much about “hope.” I hope those of you who read this will feel of my deep sense of hope and “faith in the plan.”<o:p></o:p></div>
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Several months ago, Mark began to have some serious symptoms. This led to having an esophogram, which revealed a few concerning things. We found this out a few days prior to a speaking engagement I had at a Women’s Conference for the Pineview Stake. My topic… “Women are that they might have joy.” With all my given stress, I prayed vigilantly for the spirit take over and for me to deliver the message I was directed to give. The Lord did not fail me, He never does. I found so much joy in sharing. I found so much joy in feeling the spirit from these incredible women, and from feeling a part of their great sisterhood. I felt lifted. I felt hope. I felt of their love. Thank you Pineview Stake for that sweet invitation as you truly blessed my life that day.<o:p></o:p></div>
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The next week while walking my puppy Gus one day, I was pondering the seriousness of Mark’s situation while having a tearful conversation with our Heavenly Father. I just wanted the heavens to open and for Heavenly Father to tell me “everything is going to be just fine my child.” Instead, I received this inspiration:<o:p></o:p></div>
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I admit I was puzzled by this particular revelation. WHY would I receive “this” particular inspiration. I suppose the answer is in my title: Have Faith in the Plan. As I relayed my particular inspiration to Mark, he reminded me that we need to keep the eternal perspective. “Whatever happens,” we need to have faith in the plan, faith in our Father in Heaven, and faith in our Savior Jesus Christ. From everything we have been taught to everything we believe and hold near and dear in our hearts, it truly is those humbling, life altering, drop you to your knees kind of trials when our faith is tested. The only way to pass through the portals of trials is to make sure our testimonies are fueled with the necessary oils that can sustain us, carry us, and bring us that sweet calm assurance of peace. We need to have faith in the plan, in God’s plan.<o:p></o:p></div>
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Saturday, the 22<sup>nd</sup> of February, we found ourselves in the ER. Mark was showing some symptoms that were concerning and was admitted to the hospital. Sunday afternoon, he was taken to the OR around 4. We had the cutest young lady who transported Mark to the OR, her name is Pam. As Pam was wheeling us to the OR, she began to ask us about us. I then began to ask her some questions. How long have you been in St. George? About 10 years. Where did you go to high school? Desert Hills. What year did you graduate? 201x. I then asked her, do you remember a student named Zachary Pulsipher. She paused and said yes! She began to talk about Zach as she had a class with him. She spoke about when he died and how the school brought in extra counselors for those students who were struggling. She continued to share many sweet things with us. She was one of the many angels who blessed us that day. I do not believe it was any coincidence that we met Pam. From meeting Pam, and the fact that Pam knew Zach, we knew our angel Zach would be around during the course of this trial. She gave us a gift, the very real sense that Zach was there with us. Mark and I both felt as if we received a heavenly message from Zach, delivered by an earthly angel, Pam.<o:p></o:p></div>
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Surgery began around 5:30pm and finished around 11:30. I have to say Mark has been under the care of incredibly skilled surgeons. From the Neurosurgeon, Dr. Manwaring who carefully removed the plates, to the ENT surgeon, Dr. Gardner who carefully and most skillfully repaired a hole in Mark’s esophagus – 3cm hole to be exact. And, I can’t forget forget to mention all the other key personnel from the anesthesiologist, to the nurses, to the techs, and for anyone else I may have forgotten to mention. I have eternal gratitude for the team that was put together to help Mark. I also need to thank these caregiver’s families who sacrificed their time with their loved ones to help my dear husband. I well understand what those sacrifices are and have been in their shoes countless times as Mark has run to the hospital to care for someone in need. <o:p></o:p></div>
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Tomorrow is D-day. Mark will have a swallowing study done to assess a couple of things. First and foremost, we need to be sure his esophagus is not leaking. Next, we will be assessing his swallowing capabilities. These are two major hurdles, and our hope and prayers are to see some miracles with both assessments.<o:p></o:p></div>
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Mark and I have been surrounded by your prayers, our family, dear friends who are our earthly angels (you know who your are), our wonderful Ward family, priesthood blessings, Mark’s colleagues, texts, calls, and the list goes on. How blessed we are for those friendships, how blessed we are from your prayers (please keep them coming), and how blessed we feel to be lifted and loved by each of you. <o:p></o:p></div>
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Life has been… a rollercoaster. While the past few days have been full of ups and full of downs, we are now into day 7 post-op and today is a good day. Mark is stable at the present time and slowly improving each day, he still has a few milestones to reach. This is a very different type of marathon for Mark. Dr. Gardner is pleased with Mark’s progress. There is still the possibility of some bumps or hurdles. However, we are cautiously optimistic. Have faith in the plan.<o:p></o:p></div>
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PS… I have taken some pictures of Mark. But if I post them, it may cause some marital strife. For now, they are safely filed away in the “cloud.”<o:p></o:p></div>
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PPSS... We also have a new grandson amidst all this turmoil. He is just darling and a beautiful reminder of “the plan.” Each of our grandchildren fills Mark’s heart and mine. </div>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Ruby getting up close and personal with “Little Dude”</td></tr>
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He Knows by Shawna Edwards<br />
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Certain Women by Shawna Edwards</div>
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Rollercoastershttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09399672423366620095noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9189906569951686493.post-13279424320062185912019-12-11T19:06:00.000-08:002019-12-11T19:07:09.390-08:00Sometimes You Just Need Wonder Woman Bracelets<br />
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Everyone has insanely busy lives, me included. Mine has become a little out of control. Without boring you with details, it has begun to wear on me. And it has worn on me in such a way, that the rock had begun to crack.</div>
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Ever since Zach’s passing, I have felt the need to try and ensure that everyone has been lifted and happy. While the loss of Zach certainly weighs heavily on everyone in our family, especially this time of year, I have always felt it essential to at least get Mark, my children, or Zach’s friends to smile. I try to recall some memory of Zach that usually invokes smiles or laughter or “he was so cute!”</div>
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This year…this year was different for me. I have been SO busy! Yesterday, I baked ALL day for a youth activity, as I really wanted it to be memorable for the youth and time worthy. I was so busy that I actually was not prepared for today, the day that Zach died. I didn’t have his flowers made. I didn’t go to the temple. I missed a lunch date with a special friend. You can play the world’s smallest violin now! </div>
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I got so caught up in my own emotions, my own grief, even feeling sorry for myself! WHAT THE HECK!!!!!!!!!!! WHY?? Why eight years? Duh! I know the answer to the “why.” It is as simple as this… I let myself get caught up in “me” instead of looking around me. This is where I need those “Wonder Woman bracelets” to thwart off those bullets of self-pity, of blinding myself to others needs, of not finding time for the spiritual essentials, and the list of bullets I need to thwart goes on. </div>
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I was in Costco today to get a few necessities. I am a “people watcher.” As I looked around, I saw an elderly woman out on a Costco excursion with her nurse and a family member. She was severely stooped, pushing a cart, yet I do not think she could hold her head up to see where she was going. My heart opened up for her as I watched her maneuver through the aisle past me. Then, I recalled being at the care center last night and seeing some of the elderly residents who just needed to hear some Christmas carols and have their doors decorated. For some of these elderly residents, it is a very lonely time of year. My heart opened up thinking about these youth singing to these sweet people and having a moment of joy brought into their lives. One woman came up and asked if we could decorate her daughter’s door that is in the rehab section. She shared the story about how her daughter had just graduated from high school this past summer with a full ride scholarship to a university. Her daughter had the world in front of her. And then, she was in an accident in the latter part of the summer that caused a traumatic brain injury. My heart opened up quite a bit for this mother and daughter. </div>
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Life is hard, and not just for me. Everyone has trials, and everyone’s trials are different. We need to cling to our faith. We must nurture our souls. We must find a love for our fellowman, and serve them. Surely, each of us must follow our Savior, Jesus Christ. He led the way, and he said, “Come Follow Me.” It is through Him that we can find peace and joy again in this life.</div>
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As for me, I simply just need to be better. I need to DO better. I do not need to look too far to extend my helping hand. And when those spray of bullets begin to thwart my vision, I need to remember I have powerful Wonder Woman bracelets made with faith and hope.</div>
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Zach… another angelversary has come, eight to be exact. I think about you everyday. I think of your infectious smile and your laugh that was so contagious it would make me laugh. I miss your hugs and chats in the car as I drove you to school or picked you up. And, I really miss our Little Drummer Boy. I picture you spreading all sorts of your goodness all over heaven with your bright and sparkling soul. This is my beautiful and perfect impression of you now. I send you special hugs and pray that I can feel an occasional hug from my angel.</div>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Zach happy to hug his niece-Brookie<br />
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Thanks Heather for this song!!! I love it too <3</div>
Rollercoastershttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09399672423366620095noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9189906569951686493.post-70937635376713260752019-07-27T08:47:00.000-07:002019-07-27T08:47:52.238-07:00When the heart needs a hug…<div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Cambria; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;">
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I was looking out at the sky the other night and saw the most beautiful sunset. As I looked to that beautiful horizon, I felt as if the sky reached out and wrapped the distant land in a graceful warm beautiful hug. I felt as if Zach was giving me an angelic hug through this picturesque scene. This was an incredibly beautiful feeling. I love those special moments that pierce my heart with love and gratitude.<o:p></o:p></div>
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Today is certainly a day to reflect on the sweet life of our son Zach. Today, he would be 21. Today, he would have already completed a mission for our church. Today, he would probably be holding to his promise to his father and attending college at the University of Utah. Today, he would be excited to celebrate another birthday. Today, I would see a young man whose smile, personality, and incredible spirit bless all he knows and loves.<o:p></o:p></div>
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But Zach’s “today,” his birthday, will be celebrated differently than the rest of us here on earth. We do celebrate Zach’s life and the magic he brought into our family and the lives of those he knew in his short life. We celebrate by remembering the moments in time of the things he did that continue to bring us joy, even today. There is not a day that goes by that thoughts or memories of Zach surface and today those floodgates are open. <o:p></o:p></div>
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While I miss Zach each and every day, I am eternally grateful for that “Great Plan,” the Plan of Salvation. This plan offers me comfort, peace, and an opportunity to work at being worthy of seeing our sweet Zach again. For I truly believe there is life after this life, eternal life. I believe that a loving Savior lived, died and rose from the grave, breaking the bonds of death, to give us this incredible gift. How grateful I am to Him for giving me this hope, for my greatest desire is to see Zach again. Because of my faith, I can press forward with confidence being optimistic in my pursuit of eternal happiness.<o:p></o:p></div>
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So “today,” I say, “Happy Birthday Zach!” While you are dearly missed, I love that you are my angel, our family’s angel. Thank you for hugging me through those beautiful sunsets of life.<o:p></o:p></div>
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Rollercoastershttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09399672423366620095noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9189906569951686493.post-5766041750538010682019-06-21T12:40:00.001-07:002019-06-21T12:49:44.958-07:00When One Door Closes, Another Always Opens<br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">The newest member to join our family sooooooooon!</td></tr>
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Mark and I have made many changes in our lives over the past few months. The biggest change is that we moved. We moved eight houses down from our old home. We decided it was time to rid ourselves of the stairs/two-story home and build a one level home. We started the process last June and we were able to finally move in on April 15<sup>th</sup>-Tax Day!<o:p></o:p></div>
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As I did the final walk-through of our old home, I found myself downstairs where Zach passed away. With all the fun, beautiful, awesome memories of living in our old home, there is one memory that is still heartbreaking, Zach’s death. I actually kissed my hand and touched all the places where his last moments were in that house. I then looked around that mostly empty room and said my final good-bye. That home served us well and another family will make their beautiful memories in it, and truly, that makes me smile.<o:p></o:p></div>
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I came home, opened the door, and thought, “I love our new home.” We have beautiful views of Pine Valley Mountain and various vistas. I love watching storms roll in. I love planting my garden and my flowerpots, and even weeding. I love to cook in my dream kitchen and to grill outside in 100+ degree weather. I love doing the dishes and even laundry. I love to sit outside by our water feature and meditate. I often ponder as to how many dogs I can talk Mark into letting me have-hahaha! I love that we were able to help create this house and now we can enjoy the fruits of those labors.<o:p></o:p></div>
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As the door of the old closes, we take with us many beautiful, sweet, and fun memories. Those memories will stay tucked warmly and safely in my heart, never to forget. “We don’t remember days…we remember moments.” (Author Unknown) “Today’s little moments become tomorrow’s precious memories.” (Author Unknown)<o:p></o:p></div>
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Here are a few pictures of our new home where we hope to make many new memories, especially with our new addition to the family coming on July 8<sup>th</sup>~Gus!<o:p></o:p></div>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Kitchen which is part of the "Great Room"</td></tr>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Great Room</td></tr>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">The Great Room's view... it really is a "great" room!</td></tr>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">The view can be seen right through the front doors</td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-Qcd_LlqmK54/XQ0udIY0suI/AAAAAAAACg0/_XlpUlO3a4M-M5rkq17GZctcHPN5KKfTgCLcBGAs/s1600/IMG_2466.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="470" data-original-width="1600" height="94" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-Qcd_LlqmK54/XQ0udIY0suI/AAAAAAAACg0/_XlpUlO3a4M-M5rkq17GZctcHPN5KKfTgCLcBGAs/s320/IMG_2466.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Pano of the front</td></tr>
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<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-SG8LuA2XL3w/XQ0uZ0xS-kI/AAAAAAAACgo/NlsZE4wVMWUm_y_e5dLt85DoZqQCNxbDgCLcBGAs/s1600/IMG_2467.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1600" data-original-width="1200" height="320" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-SG8LuA2XL3w/XQ0uZ0xS-kI/AAAAAAAACgo/NlsZE4wVMWUm_y_e5dLt85DoZqQCNxbDgCLcBGAs/s320/IMG_2467.jpg" width="240" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">These doors! I am obsessed! Shout out to Urban Iron Doors for the design :)</td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-ivbtMQZnHRY/XQ0uZkif1pI/AAAAAAAACgk/bNZjLV17VzYY7KK7EKyYbP0rg408hjF4gCLcBGAs/s1600/IMG_2468.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="480" data-original-width="640" height="240" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-ivbtMQZnHRY/XQ0uZkif1pI/AAAAAAAACgk/bNZjLV17VzYY7KK7EKyYbP0rg408hjF4gCLcBGAs/s320/IMG_2468.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Mark's man cave-beautiful office</td></tr>
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<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-JxnPt3qy2GA/XQ0uaE6lNVI/AAAAAAAACgs/vk9LOl4kQ-ssLUNaQhaaq67Ch7x8ihjZgCLcBGAs/s1600/IMG_2469.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="480" data-original-width="640" height="240" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-JxnPt3qy2GA/XQ0uaE6lNVI/AAAAAAAACgs/vk9LOl4kQ-ssLUNaQhaaq67Ch7x8ihjZgCLcBGAs/s320/IMG_2469.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">View from the Master Suite</td></tr>
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<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-ZjMfndp2UYg/XQ0ufSsi4vI/AAAAAAAAChA/UgEzJf2TBccBN_B1pxGaiAXtEvfmv7lzACEwYBhgL/s1600/IMG_2470.MOV" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="240" data-original-width="320" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-ZjMfndp2UYg/XQ0ufSsi4vI/AAAAAAAAChA/UgEzJf2TBccBN_B1pxGaiAXtEvfmv7lzACEwYBhgL/s1600/IMG_2470.MOV" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">A little video of the water feature our builder Dave created :) Shout out to DAVE!!!!</td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/--2b2GivEsQs/XQ0uce5N2iI/AAAAAAAACgw/35Bx43YaSZM_SpjPl5vD2JbhDneV6YrygCLcBGAs/s1600/IMG_2471.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1200" data-original-width="1600" height="240" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/--2b2GivEsQs/XQ0uce5N2iI/AAAAAAAACgw/35Bx43YaSZM_SpjPl5vD2JbhDneV6YrygCLcBGAs/s320/IMG_2471.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Gorgeous fire pit that Dave also created :) Another shout out to DAVE!!!!</td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-JyjoMxQdM5Y/XQ0udraftjI/AAAAAAAACg4/ZKjOCRoJ66QlQxJzZwAYs9W90tdFw7g1QCLcBGAs/s1600/IMG_2487.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1200" data-original-width="1600" height="240" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-JyjoMxQdM5Y/XQ0udraftjI/AAAAAAAACg4/ZKjOCRoJ66QlQxJzZwAYs9W90tdFw7g1QCLcBGAs/s320/IMG_2487.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Ahhhh... the pool! When the beach is unavailable...</td></tr>
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<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-nroAY3bLlcA/XQ0ue5xCwiI/AAAAAAAACg8/XY_YNH37w5QE6Fh0cpM4d76KbfTLnLhAgCLcBGAs/s1600/IMG_2488.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1200" data-original-width="1600" height="240" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-nroAY3bLlcA/XQ0ue5xCwiI/AAAAAAAACg8/XY_YNH37w5QE6Fh0cpM4d76KbfTLnLhAgCLcBGAs/s320/IMG_2488.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Another pool view - shout out to Oasis for creating this refreshing scene :)</td></tr>
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<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-GI_lbALdE8g/XQ0ugOAQOrI/AAAAAAAAChE/SA2mbRKUQYEMswuMKvqCIhNsmn-sXHDYgCLcBGAs/s1600/IMG_2490.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="533" data-original-width="1600" height="106" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-GI_lbALdE8g/XQ0ugOAQOrI/AAAAAAAAChE/SA2mbRKUQYEMswuMKvqCIhNsmn-sXHDYgCLcBGAs/s320/IMG_2490.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Back patio pano<br />
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<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-tUgJGZ02AkI/XQ0wwXQeVuI/AAAAAAAACiE/JKVvSn19YY8U28mEmTVultGVUK3aQ35swCEwYBhgL/s1600/A3509099-D2E3-48EE-A4B8-3921E2F27C1A.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1440" data-original-width="1440" height="320" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-tUgJGZ02AkI/XQ0wwXQeVuI/AAAAAAAACiE/JKVvSn19YY8U28mEmTVultGVUK3aQ35swCEwYBhgL/s320/A3509099-D2E3-48EE-A4B8-3921E2F27C1A.JPG" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">And then... Gus!<br />
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<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-JV8iKoqleFo/XQ0wwd-23oI/AAAAAAAACiE/8bu54QJyOEwpiz3tYxQCzaiokogsVz9swCEwYBhgL/s1600/IMG_0819.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1600" data-original-width="943" height="400" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-JV8iKoqleFo/XQ0wwd-23oI/AAAAAAAACiE/8bu54QJyOEwpiz3tYxQCzaiokogsVz9swCEwYBhgL/s400/IMG_0819.jpg" width="235" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">He has even captured Dr. Mark's heart :)</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
Rollercoastershttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09399672423366620095noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9189906569951686493.post-30303884769396905902018-12-06T07:47:00.000-08:002018-12-07T05:11:37.104-08:00Seven in Heaven<div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Cambria; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;">
It has been a LONG while since I have written anything! This time of year always brings Zach’s passing to the forefront of my thoughts and deepest feelings. I had a sweet friend ask me recently if I relive those moments in time seven years ago. I replied, “every year!”<o:p></o:p></div>
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There is so much to try and comprehend, to try and overcome, all the while remembering to always look up and keep the faith. Recalling Zach’s death is at times extremely difficult. And yet, I feel I can see him filled with a joy I completely have no understanding of.<o:p></o:p></div>
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In reading the Book of Mormon, I have pondered Ammon’s “joy.” What would that be like to have that kind of joy? What would that be like to be filled with that kind of joy? To the point of laying prostrate on the ground?<o:p></o:p></div>
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When in my life have I been “filled” with joy? <o:p></o:p></div>
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When I was baptized, I was filled with joy. While it was a special day and moment, it cannot be compared to Ammon’s joy.<o:p></o:p></div>
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When my family was sealed in the temple, I was filled with joy. That moment in time was sacred and beautiful, but still cannot be compared to Ammon’s joy.<o:p></o:p></div>
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When I was married in the temple, I was filled with immense joy. That was an incredibly happy day. I remember smiling so much that my face began to hurt. Nevertheless, I feel it falls just short of that joy Ammon felt.<o:p></o:p></div>
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When I had each of my children, my joy thermometer was off the charts. As I held each one of these precious little beings fresh from heaven, my feelings of joy were so intense, so pure, and really beyond description. I think that those beautiful moments are probably the closest times in my life of feeling the joy Ammon must have felt.<o:p></o:p></div>
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Being an empty nester, with a child on the other side of the veil, and a Nana, how can I feel that joy I have tasted at various times in my life? Each of us NEEDS to have some sort of joy in our lives. Each of us should seek to find joy in our lives. And most of the time, we do not have to look far to find and feel it.<o:p></o:p></div>
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I think the biggest secret to finding joy is simply serving someone in need. Serving brings those desired droplets of joy to my soul. They fuel me to want to do more and to have more of those particularly sweet moments. Serving can be as simple as putting someone’s shopping cart away for them. Or, it can be purchasing someone’s groceries for them. It can be calling your eighty-one year old mother. It can be visiting family members. Serving can be taking a treat to someone who may be shut in. It can be showing up to clean someone’s home, and even making them dinner.<o:p></o:p></div>
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Where does the joy come from any of those suggestions? It comes from the woman with five children who is so grateful you are putting her grocery cart away as she tries to multitask loading children and groceries into her car. Joy comes from seeing a person’s face light up with immense gratitude as you help pay the difference she is short in the grocery check-out line. Joy comes from calling my mother, asking about her day, and letting her know how much I love her. And in turn, I feel my mother’s gratitude and love from making a simple phone call. Joy comes from visiting my children and playing with my grandchildren. I am always excited to see them, to feel of their love, and to spend time making special memories for all to remember.<o:p></o:p></div>
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As I have pondered Ammon’s joy lately, I have given deep thought as to how I will feel when I see Zach again. Joy. And I actually believe, it will be the kind of joy that Ammon felt. I do not think I will be laying prostrate on the ground, but I will be hugging him, kissing him, and crying big crocodile tears of joy when that blessed day comes.<o:p></o:p></div>
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<span style="font-family: "cambria"; font-size: 12pt;">Our angel Zach has had seven years in heaven. Oh how we miss him. I believe my job on earth is to serve and find ways to bring joy to others. And in turn, this brings my soul joy. I like to picture Zach smiling his big beautiful smile, full of joy, and busily serving. As we continue our journey joyfully here on earth, may each of us share our “joy” and “Light the World” this Christmas season. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "cambria"; font-size: 12pt;">Listen to this beautiful song "The Sweetest Gift"</span><br />
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<iframe allowfullscreen="" class="YOUTUBE-iframe-video" data-thumbnail-src="https://i.ytimg.com/vi/0yFXfAGl17M/0.jpg" frameborder="0" height="266" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/0yFXfAGl17M?feature=player_embedded" width="320"></iframe></div>
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<span style="font-family: "cambria"; font-size: 12pt;"><br /><br />This is a beautiful talk about service. Click link below</span>
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<span style="font-family: "cambria"; font-size: 12pt;"><a href="https://www.lds.org/general-conference/2018/10/the-joy-of-unselfish-service?lang=eng&cid=email-shared">The Joy of Unselfish Service</a></span><br />
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<a href="https://www.blogger.com/%3Ca%20href=%22https://www.bloglovin.com/blog/4758513/?claim=jy4cw79xwsg%22%3EFollow%20my%20blog%20with%20Bloglovin%3C/a%3E"><a href="https://www.bloglovin.com/blog/4758513/?claim=jy4cw79xwsg">Follow my blog with Bloglovin</a></a>Rollercoastershttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09399672423366620095noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9189906569951686493.post-10981519205793226282018-02-12T19:25:00.000-08:002020-06-19T09:53:15.960-07:00“Tell Your Heart to Beat Again…”<div class="MsoNormal">
First, listen to this song.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Then if you desire, continue reading.<o:p></o:p></div>
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Recently, I have had several people come to me for help in
regards to friends who have lost children.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>More specifically, I have been asked to help friends who have lost
children to suicide, and parents who have children contemplating suicide.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Mark and I were also asked to consider
sharing our story in an even more public forum.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>However, we declined for numerous personal reasons.<o:p></o:p></div>
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I decided, for Valentine’s Day, to share what is in my heart
in regards to Zach’s death and the topic of suicide.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I share it specifically for those who have
lost a loved one to suicide and pray that my words will somehow lift and
encourage you.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I also share our story
from a heart that is in a good place at this time in my life.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></div>
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On December 11, 2011, our sweet Zach hanged himself.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Mark found him and together we took him
down.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Mark desperately tried CPR, but
has seen death enough to know that Zach had been gone for more than an
hour.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Most of that horrific night is
still yet a blur.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The police came.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The ambulance came.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>They put our son’s body in a body bag and
left it open at his face where I could kiss his head.<o:p></o:p></div>
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As you may well imagine, we were left with the ever-pressing
question of “why.”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Zach left us no
note.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We had noticed some changes in
Zach’s behavior, but attributed most of it to teenage hormones.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>A few months passed and we discovered the reason
that led to Zach doing what he thought was his only way to relieve his
suffering.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I won’t go into all the
particulars, but suffice it to say, someone we trusted hurt him in a way that
could not be remedied.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>His soul was in
utter anguish, and he obviously felt he had no one to turn to for help.<o:p></o:p></div>
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As Mark and I have done a “play by play” playback of the
last six months of his life, we each have recalled various times of those “red
flag moments.”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>“Why didn’t I see this?”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>“Why didn’t I do something when he said that?”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>All this coupled with the could haves, should
haves, and would haves, had we known what was going on in his head and
heart.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Sadly, we didn’t. <o:p></o:p></div>
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As far as my knowledge of suicide goes, I will leave that to
the professionals to better assist in those situations.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>They have the knowledge and skillset, and are
equipped to address and aid those who may be contemplating suicide.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>With
that said, suicide is becoming a problem amongst our young people.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>There is an urgency to help with this
incredibly deadly disease.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>There is an
urgency for making people aware.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>This is
probably the reason Mark and I were sought out.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>This is the sole reason for this post. We decided to share our journey through grief in the hopes that it may offer some sort of help.<o:p></o:p></div>
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We cannot change what Zach did.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We cannot bring him back.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Bad things happen.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And as we have learned, our personal response
to trials is paramount in our healing process.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Perhaps the most important decision that Mark and I made was to turn our
hearts to our Father in Heaven and our Savior Jesus Christ.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We cannot go through this storm without faith
that everything will be made right in the end.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>We cannot go through this trial finding blame or letting anger control
our actions or thoughts.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We cannot go
through this trial without our loved ones.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>But, we had to go through this trial with every ounce of faith we could
muster.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>This was going to take an
immense amount of work and effort on our part to pass through this incredibly
difficult storm.<o:p></o:p></div>
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This trial brought us to our knees.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Our prayers were heard and have been answered
in many ways over time.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We have looked
to each other for comfort and help.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We
study our church doctrine and have faith in the eternal nature of
families.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We firmly believe we will see
Zach again, along with other loved ones who have passed on.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
We faithfully serve in our church assignments.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Shortly after Zach’s passing, I was asked to
serve in the Special Needs Mutual.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It was
an incredible blessing to work with these beautiful Celestial people.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I have always felt that Heavenly Father knew
that I had “special needs” and gave me these very special friends who greatly
blessed my life.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
We attend the temple often.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>The temple is where we bind families for time and all eternity.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>My experiences there are too sacred to share
in this venue.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But those experiences
have taught me, lifted me, and let me know often that our Father in Heaven is
ever aware of my every heartache and need.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>I can honestly say I would go through those doors with the heaviest of
heart, and leave having the strength to continue on.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
We serve in our community.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>We exercise.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Mark much more so
than me!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He is our marathon man as he #runswithourangel.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
These are but a few of the things we do to “progress.”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We cannot sit idly by hoping that we will get
a simple fix, that it will all go away, or that we will wake up from this
nightmare and it will all have disappeared.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span><o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
We need to get up everyday.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Pray.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Study.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Work.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Serve.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Love.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Exercise.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> Find gratitude. </span>Get ready for the day.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And then, start
all over again the next day.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>If we could
only see ALL the angels cheering us on each and every minute of the day…<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>that particular thought makes me smile and
brings me peace.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Especially since one of
those angels is our Zach.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
For you dear parents who have lost a child through suicide
or other ways, I say to you that days do get brighter.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>You can smile again.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>You can laugh again.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>You can find joy again. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And the most important thing to know is that
your child wants you to be happy.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We
know Zach is happy.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Through all this, the word that has continually come to my
mind is gratitude.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I am grateful for the
things I have learned through this trial.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>I am grateful for Mark, his friendship, his love, and his kind and
forgiving heart.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I am grateful for a
heart that believes that this life is not the end.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I am grateful for my eternal family.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I am grateful for my journey through
grief.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I am grateful for Zach.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I love him and miss him, each and every
day.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Remembering the beautiful and
wonderful things about his life brings me joy, brings me comfort, and brings me
peace.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Remembering his awesome drumming
and how much he enjoyed drumming makes me smile… pretty big.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
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<!--StartFragment-->
<span style="font-family: "cambria"; font-size: 12.0pt;">I love the song “Tell Your Heart to Beat
Again.” A friend posted it on his wall
and I have listened to it over and over and over again. I hope those of you who have found yourself
in the same shoes as Mark and I can begin to “feel the sun,” because “your
journey’s just begun.” And remember, “In
this moment, heaven’s working everything for your good.”</span><!--EndFragment-->
<br />
<span style="font-family: "cambria"; font-size: 12.0pt;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "cambria"; font-size: 12.0pt;">And now... watch the video again!</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "cambria"; font-size: 12.0pt;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "cambria"; font-size: 12.0pt;">Below is a link to a beautiful talk Elder Holland gave that addresses mental health.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "cambria"; font-size: 12.0pt;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "cambria"; font-size: 12.0pt;"><a href="https://www.lds.org/general-conference/2013/10/like-a-broken-vessel?lang=eng&cid=email-shared">Like a Broken Vessel by Elder Holland</a></span>Rollercoastershttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09399672423366620095noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9189906569951686493.post-50111855657951043192018-01-14T12:31:00.005-08:002018-01-14T12:31:39.656-08:00And so, I kiss my hand, then touch the ground, and turn to look into the sky<div class="MsoNormal">
In my now 59 years of age, I like to think that I have seen
it all.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And also that, I have “pearls”
of wisdom.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I think we like to think we
know a thing or two at our age.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Or maybe,
just maybe, we have “learned” a thing or two.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Learning is a lifelong process (profound, I know!).<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But more importantly, we need to grow from
those incredibly challenging experiences that help to mold us and to shape us
into human beings with hearts that see and feel.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Then, we need to use that knowledge for good,
turning it into “positive” actions.<o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
After Zach’s passing, and learning all the circumstances
that surrounded his death, I knew the only way I would survive was to stay busy
by serving.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>If I could look for someone
to help in some small way, I knew my life would be blessed.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Do you even realize how many people need
help?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The list is endless!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Reading to pre-schoolers, helping an elderly
person across the street, helping someone at the check-out line in the grocery
store who clearly has no money, helping someone who has made poor choices,
being a friend who listens, loving your family and all their imperfections, bake
something yummy and secretly deliver it to someone who needs to feel special,
and most importantly we need to be kind.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>These are only a very small amount of the types of things we can do.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And, we can do these types of things every
day!<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Instead of hard-heartedness, find compassion.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Instead of blame and judgment, find
forgiveness.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Instead of prejudice, find
acceptance and friendship.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Instead of
cruelty, find kindness. Instead of hate, find love.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Now, I am NOT perfect and therefore have to work on ALL of
these things.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I can say, I am trying to
give life my best effort.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The things
that have become obstacles in my life, I simply cut a wide path around
them.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I basically try and avoid the
negative.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Negative is dark and heavy,
but positive is ethereal and full of light.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Every day I have a choice of how I want to live, of what I
want to do, of how I want to feel.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I
have the choice.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>At the end of the day,
I evaluate my day, my efforts, and my choices.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Would Zach be smiling and proud of me?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>OR would he be covering his eyes saying, “Oh Mom, why did you do (or
say) that?!!”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Would my Savior be pleased
with my efforts?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Would my Father in
Heaven?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I am praying that each of them is
pleased with my efforts.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
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<!--StartFragment-->
<!--EndFragment--><br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
I went to the cemetery on my birthday with Mark.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It is sweet to remember our son, his life,
his infectious laugh, any memory that brings us joy and peace. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>My ritual when I leave is to kiss my hand,
touch the ground where he is buried, and then look to the bright blue sky.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I sometimes feel like I am staring straight
into heaven.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And, I sometimes feel like
Zach is staring and smiling… right back at me.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
A few kindness quotes to ponder:</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
"No act of kindness, no matter how small, is ever wasted." Aesop</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
"Kindness is the language which the deaf can hear and the blind can see." Mark Twain</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
"Kindness in words creates confidence. Kindness in thinking creates profoundness. Kindness in giving creates love." Lao Tzu</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
"A warm smile is the universal language of kindness." William Arthur Ward</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
And one of my new favorite songs by Tim McGraw "Humble and Kind"</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<iframe allowfullscreen="" class="YOUTUBE-iframe-video" data-thumbnail-src="https://i.ytimg.com/vi/awzNHuGqoMc/0.jpg" frameborder="0" height="266" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/awzNHuGqoMc?feature=player_embedded" width="320"></iframe></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
AND... Mark also took me to "Puppy Palace" to hug and hold some sweet pups</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://2.bp.blogspot.com/-xI9T_-e4CoU/Wlu9diYH2VI/AAAAAAAACAo/97kVybYW_lAhYOCbhW6FRAONi5wyCh5DgCLcBGAs/s1600/IMG_0006.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1600" data-original-width="1200" height="320" src="https://2.bp.blogspot.com/-xI9T_-e4CoU/Wlu9diYH2VI/AAAAAAAACAo/97kVybYW_lAhYOCbhW6FRAONi5wyCh5DgCLcBGAs/s320/IMG_0006.JPG" width="240" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Mark trying to love holding a puppy</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://2.bp.blogspot.com/-x6qqI80JMd0/Wlu9dtrwZyI/AAAAAAAACAs/Tr6HNEnaZk0IldrAN1PTLoqxxCiWqJZYQCLcBGAs/s1600/IMG_0007.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1600" data-original-width="1200" height="320" src="https://2.bp.blogspot.com/-x6qqI80JMd0/Wlu9dtrwZyI/AAAAAAAACAs/Tr6HNEnaZk0IldrAN1PTLoqxxCiWqJZYQCLcBGAs/s320/IMG_0007.JPG" width="240" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Success!</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br />
<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://2.bp.blogspot.com/-LHTHr_Tc5Fg/Wlu9eR3f4QI/AAAAAAAACA0/bJGjgEixlbkEbunmC7xbtOPnscfaNDQdwCLcBGAs/s1600/IMG_0009.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1600" data-original-width="1200" height="320" src="https://2.bp.blogspot.com/-LHTHr_Tc5Fg/Wlu9eR3f4QI/AAAAAAAACA0/bJGjgEixlbkEbunmC7xbtOPnscfaNDQdwCLcBGAs/s320/IMG_0009.JPG" width="240" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">I fell in love with this one!</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://3.bp.blogspot.com/-R0YFiSgbWZU/Wlu9e_QGBwI/AAAAAAAACA4/j5-PgeLFeig-yyLdyIXfIRHPpcWTnP34wCLcBGAs/s1600/IMG_0010.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1600" data-original-width="1200" height="320" src="https://3.bp.blogspot.com/-R0YFiSgbWZU/Wlu9e_QGBwI/AAAAAAAACA4/j5-PgeLFeig-yyLdyIXfIRHPpcWTnP34wCLcBGAs/s320/IMG_0010.JPG" width="240" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Puppies make everything happy! <3</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
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Rollercoastershttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09399672423366620095noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9189906569951686493.post-58076033006150870532017-11-09T15:59:00.000-08:002017-11-09T15:59:09.592-08:00If I Can Find My Smile…<div class="MsoNormal">
Since Zach’s passing nearly six years ago, I have found
myself working on finding my smile.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>How
can I smile?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Why smile?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>What’s behind a smile?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And, how can my smile help someone who may
need “just a smile?”<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
After the many bleak days and long nights following Zach’s
passing, how could I smile?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>There were
so many reasons NOT to smile.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And, the
thought that was foremost on my mind and in my heart was that I would not properly
be grieving Zach’s loss… if I did, in fact, smile.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>As I began sorting through his room just
days after his passing, I found myself holding his Karate clothes and weapons
and recalled Zach shouting his Karate grunts.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>I then visualized Coach Reis getting Zach to yell SO loud.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>When Zach would yell, Coach Reis would get so
tickled.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>That memory brought on a big
smile combined with a few nostalgic tears.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>As I recovered his drumsticks, his favorite shirt, his golf clubs…
basically I found numerous beautiful memories, pieces of him and his life that
not only made me miss him, but also helped me to smile at those sweet memories.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I often wonder if Zach was sitting right by
me saying, “remember this…<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>remember
when…<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>just remember.”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>When I go to those sweet moments in time, it
is impossible NOT to smile.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
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<div class="MsoNormal">
I confess, those first few months, I would often think why
would I even want to smile.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I lost my
son in a tragic and traumatic way, why should I smile?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Those thoughts right there are what lead many
people down a dark, unforgiving, and hopeless road.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The religious part of me also recognizes that
that particular road is one the adversary not only wants me on, but also anyone
he can trap in his snare.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Do I really
want to let him have that much power over me?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Over my life?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Simple
answer~NO!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Whatever journey we may be on, we need to find joy.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>For me, attending the temple has been my
lifeline for “why” I want to smile and where I find joy.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I can walk through those doors with the
heaviest of heart and literally feel the Savior gather my woes and tell me, “Go
to work and be happy.”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Miraculously, I
could every time.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>In the temple, I am
surrounded by angels.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>These angels may
seem as ordinary as you and me, but they are extraordinary human beings.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Their smiles come from the depths of their
souls infusing them with love and compassion for everyone.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>They smile.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>They are happy.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It is a very
special light they carry, the kind of light I would like to acquire and
share.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Their smiles are genuine, warm,
and most of all contagious.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
In a dream of sorts, Zach came to me.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He told me to remember him the way he was
from a silly video he made before he died.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>After watching that video, I just smiled.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I well remember at his viewing when SO many
of his friends came through the line…heartbroken and sobbing.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I told them the story about this particular
video and they would smile and laugh.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I
also remember asking them, “doesn’t it feel better to smile and laugh a
little?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Zach would want it that
way.”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Sister Hinckley said, “The only
way to get through life is to laugh your way through it.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>You either have to laugh or cry.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I prefer to laugh.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Crying gives me a headache.”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>There really is no truer statement!<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
This is the video of how Zach wanted me (and all his friends) <span style="font-size: 12pt;">to remember him </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
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<iframe width="320" height="266" class="YOUTUBE-iframe-video" data-thumbnail-src="https://i.ytimg.com/vi/gTD_wBEyC5o/0.jpg" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/gTD_wBEyC5o?feature=player_embedded" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
What’s behind a smile? And, how can my smile possibly help
someone?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>As I listen to various friends
share their life’s journey, I have come to understand that oft times their
smile is sometimes masking their pain.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I
have come to appreciate and admire their choice to smile.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>When they get ready for the day, their smile
is part of their dress routine.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>They
pick out their outfit and put on their smile.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>They say their prayers and put on their smile.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>They do not want to leave home without their
smile.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Their choice not only blesses
them, but also others whom they may come in contact with.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I truly believe a smile helps to open gates
and tear down walls.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It becomes a bridge
that can help connect and bless human beings with one another.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
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<div class="MsoNormal">
A quote I found most helpful (with no author listed), “Be
the reason someone smiles today.”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I am
grateful for my life and the many journeys I have experienced.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I am grateful for when the Holy Ghost tutors
me and comforts me.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I am grateful for
eternal families, and in particular, for my eternal family.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I also have a deep love and appreciation for
our Savior Jesus Christ.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He has lifted
me, blessed me, and helps to give me a reason to smile everyday.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I am grateful for a loving Heavenly Father
whose guiding hand is felt every day of my life.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>With ALL these wonderful blessings, I have a
heart full of gratitude and I can most certainly find my smile.<o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
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Sharing some contagious smiles with each of you</div>
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Rollercoastershttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09399672423366620095noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9189906569951686493.post-56390716667727379382017-07-26T20:26:00.000-07:002017-07-27T05:09:57.651-07:00….”still I see you Celestial”<div class="MsoNormal">
Another year older, another year is gone, and another year of missing you.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Celebrating your birthday without you here is
simply not the same!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Being that it’s
your birthday today, I love to reflect about ALL the things you did that
brought me joy during your short yet sweet life. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
First and foremost, you were a beautiful human being.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I loved your deep blue eyes with those dark
eyelashes.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Your skin…you had the most
beautiful skin and would get the darkest tan!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Hence, your nickname was the “tan man.”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>I remember someone asking your name once and you told him or her, “It’s
the tan man!”<o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
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There was this one time when we had a huge ice storm in
North Carolina.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Dad thought it would be
a good idea to borrow the Jarvis’ chain saw to cut down all the dead branches.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He then thought it might be a good idea to cut
down some trees.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>You always thought the
sun rose and set with your Dad, so you had to be right out there when he was
doing his “man thing.”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He made you stand
back by another tree, maybe 15-20 feet away, while he cut down this tree.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Well, that tree hit another dead tree that managed to fall right where you were standing and whack you on the head.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> It was like watching a big tree taking a seedling out! </span>Dad grabbed you and brought you in with a deep head laceration.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We hurried to the urgent care center where
they had to do 2 layers of stitches, administer antibiotics because of the deep wound, and
watch you for a mild concussion.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I told Dad he needs to stick to fixing hearts
and that we hire people to cut down our dead trees!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
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This was such a traumatic event for Zach.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>So much so, that he wrote a story about it
for a school project.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And, his teacher
had it bound into a book.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It truly is a
keepsake that brings a smile and a little bit of a wince at the memory.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I hope you enjoy sharing this memory with me.<o:p></o:p></div>
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<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Leaving you with some Coldplay words from their song “Everglow:”<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
(Click highlighted link below to watch video)</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<a href="https://youtu.be/xn_1hFdE-5g">Everglow video by Coldplay</a></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“Oh they say people come, they say people go</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
This particular diamond was extra special<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
And though you might be gone, and the world may not know<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Still I see you, Celestial…<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“…I know that you are with me, and the way you will show<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
and you’re with me wherever I go<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
and you give me this feeling this everglow<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“so if you love someone, you should let them know<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
oh the light that you left me will everglow”<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Happy Birthday Zach!!!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Thank you for lighting up our lives with your laughter and love.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>You continue to be missed each and every
day!!!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: "cambria"; font-size: 12.0pt;">With lots of love and hugs~ Mom</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "cambria"; font-size: 12.0pt;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "cambria"; font-size: 12.0pt;"><br /></span>
<br />
<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: left; margin-right: 1em; text-align: left;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-DhT3so86sYc/WXlVUSe1xEI/AAAAAAAAB4g/skeoWsIfoqQphDhFxO0Xqi6fOOvk7KXowCLcBGAs/s1600/IMG_4395.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="480" data-original-width="640" height="150" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-DhT3so86sYc/WXlVUSe1xEI/AAAAAAAAB4g/skeoWsIfoqQphDhFxO0Xqi6fOOvk7KXowCLcBGAs/s200/IMG_4395.JPG" width="200" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Royal Blue Birthday Flowers</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://4.bp.blogspot.com/-65UQpdcNmTQ/WXlVTzC-_rI/AAAAAAAAB4Q/9rcSGsEln0sFx2YH-nPy0fVToesA0cbUACLcBGAs/s1600/IMG_4391.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><img border="0" data-original-height="480" data-original-width="640" height="150" src="https://4.bp.blogspot.com/-65UQpdcNmTQ/WXlVTzC-_rI/AAAAAAAAB4Q/9rcSGsEln0sFx2YH-nPy0fVToesA0cbUACLcBGAs/s200/IMG_4391.JPG" width="200" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">The girls helping Papa</td></tr>
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<br />
<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://4.bp.blogspot.com/-uQCBsy9vo1Y/WXlVT-W_4VI/AAAAAAAAB4U/YHXT2rCTjzk1_QrViq5FcR3KlLCE3jVhACEwYBhgL/s1600/IMG_4393.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="480" data-original-width="640" height="240" src="https://4.bp.blogspot.com/-uQCBsy9vo1Y/WXlVT-W_4VI/AAAAAAAAB4U/YHXT2rCTjzk1_QrViq5FcR3KlLCE3jVhACEwYBhgL/s320/IMG_4393.JPG" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Posing with full-on sun </td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://4.bp.blogspot.com/-ZVlIiuaBYYM/WXlVWGkKGPI/AAAAAAAAB4k/mozAXIF2VqcubzZRtm2jfmWgzicIRvJ0QCEwYBhgL/s1600/IMG_4705.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1200" data-original-width="1600" height="240" src="https://4.bp.blogspot.com/-ZVlIiuaBYYM/WXlVWGkKGPI/AAAAAAAAB4k/mozAXIF2VqcubzZRtm2jfmWgzicIRvJ0QCEwYBhgL/s320/IMG_4705.JPG" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">We have a VERY special angel who leaves Zach drumsticks often<br />
We know who you are, and we love you!<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<iframe allowfullscreen='allowfullscreen' webkitallowfullscreen='webkitallowfullscreen' mozallowfullscreen='mozallowfullscreen' width='320' height='266' src='https://www.blogger.com/video.g?token=AD6v5dxZt4VQu1Gg7j_JmfJ21aqjFqOs7LIfrA7lQAewLE9UTOJpAPBDKaPcAfCHFWovqUlzwAvTN_Ax1guR324aVQ' class='b-hbp-video b-uploaded' frameborder='0'></iframe></div>
Our Happy Birthday Song<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<iframe allowfullscreen='allowfullscreen' webkitallowfullscreen='webkitallowfullscreen' mozallowfullscreen='mozallowfullscreen' width='320' height='266' src='https://www.blogger.com/video.g?token=AD6v5dw9QFfGmd7Cv591xCQm4UrDnOrGKjHk-6j7lZyrmOcYkjAPLvXdkXM5yrs2I4FVhIYx17O0RZZpsi1T0xMzkw' class='b-hbp-video b-uploaded' frameborder='0'></iframe></div>
Our Annual Balloon Send-Off<br />
<br /></td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
</div>
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
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<br /></div>
<br />
<span style="font-family: "cambria"; font-size: 12.0pt;"><br /></span>Rollercoastershttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09399672423366620095noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9189906569951686493.post-72750400915768099362017-04-23T20:26:00.001-07:002017-04-24T18:00:40.246-07:00The Heart of a Marathon Runner from a Spectators Eyes<div class="MsoNormal">
The Heart of a Marathon Runner is unique, focused, and
driven.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>What drives these runners?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>What sparked their desire to (what I would
choose to call torment) run 26.2 miles?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>I know for one runner, Mark, that it is the opportunity to “run with our
angel.”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The hours, the fatigue, the
miles, and the injuries, is it really worth it?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>For Mark, it is a resounding “Yes!”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Hence, he wants to run the Boston Marathon… again!<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I have attended every marathon Mark has run.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And every time, I shed tears as he crosses
that finish line.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The Boston Marathon
was no different last week.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>This
particular marathon, I went with my eyes and heart wide open.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I was searching to find those “moments” that
would speak to my heart.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I found them.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
As I watched the first of the Men’s Wheelchair speed by, I
could not help but notice the drive he possessed to cross the finish line.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It was touching.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Then the first of the Women’s Wheelchair sped
by, her focus and skill were inspiring.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>As each of the wheelchair marathoner’s sped to the finish, the crowds
cheered, clapped, and even rang their cowbells to honor and praise their
accomplishments.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Being a spectator at
that moment was incredible.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
As the Elite runners came in, the crowds again roared with
cheers, clapping, and those awesome cowbells. (Yes, I possess many of
them!)<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>They were inspiring as they ran
effortlessly; it seemed, across that finish line.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
There are a few incidents that really touched me, and I want
to share them.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>First, there were many
marathoners who passed by who were struggling from leg cramps, physical
illness (vomiting/diahrrea~I could never run for fear that that would be me),
passing out, or legs giving out on them.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
At this point in the race, these runners were only 1 ½
blocks from the finish line.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Their medal
was in sight and nothing was going to keep them from crossing.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>As these particular runners passed by, the
spectators erupted in cheering as if we were willing them and giving them the
energy to keep going.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The runners with
leg cramps found it within themselves to keep going and literally gimped along
until they either crossed or collapsed over the finish line.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>They had their goal in mind and they
accomplished it.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-78vkDXnaob8/WP1uXxvX1lI/AAAAAAAAByg/3addl6D74CsB8IxVL2vpQXcqoOexB_UvwCLcB/s1600/641886_252593321_XLarge.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-78vkDXnaob8/WP1uXxvX1lI/AAAAAAAAByg/3addl6D74CsB8IxVL2vpQXcqoOexB_UvwCLcB/s320/641886_252593321_XLarge.jpg" width="212" /></a></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<o:p><br /></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<o:p><br /></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
There were military men and women dressed in their fatigues
and boots running the race.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Every
American cheered wildly for them.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>There
was the veteran amputee running who was carrying the American Flag the entire
26.2 miles.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He was inspirational and
brought the Marathon crowds to cheering at a new record decibel level.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"><a href="http://boston.cbslocal.com/2017/04/17/marine-amputee-races-boston-marathon-american-flag-inspiration/#.WP1fdGLwVSg.gmail">Link to Veteran Amputee article</a></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Then there was the moment when a man literally fell in front
of me.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He simply could not get his legs
to keep him standing.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Each of us
spectators that were standing in front of him and watching began to yell words
of encouragement~offering what we possibly could verbally to help him.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It really was to no avail.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>EMT’s came up to him and offered to give him
a hand to help him up.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He took their
hands, but he simply was unable to remain standing.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He only had 1 ½ blocks to go.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He turned to the oncoming runners, and as a
beggar, he put out his hand and quietly mouthed, “Help me.”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>There were many runners who passed by him.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And then, two men stopped.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>They got on either side of this man and each
took one of his arms and put them around their necks.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Those runners sacrificed their marathon time
in order to help this man.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>They lifted
him and carried him across the finish line.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I began to ponder that moment.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We all need to get to that finish line.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Many of us face different trials in
life.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We need to keep perspective and
the drive to make our way through them.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>And occasionally, there are those good Samaritans who stop and offer
assistance through whatever ways they can.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>A thought came to me that I need to do more sacrificing in order to help
and lift others.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I simply need to be
more Christ-like.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
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Of course, the climax was to see Mark coming toward me on
the street.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I could see he was running
on empty, but pushing through to the end.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>He had the same goal every other runner had and that was to “cross that
finish line!”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And, he did.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Because, #herunswithourangel.<o:p></o:p></div>
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://3.bp.blogspot.com/-VBFoUgkudd4/WP1u5bV-0AI/AAAAAAAAByo/Y9uQclBq3akvoTBwlcFdfgghr9VrJPQLACLcB/s1600/641886_252178444_XLarge.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://3.bp.blogspot.com/-VBFoUgkudd4/WP1u5bV-0AI/AAAAAAAAByo/Y9uQclBq3akvoTBwlcFdfgghr9VrJPQLACLcB/s320/641886_252178444_XLarge.jpg" width="214" /></a></div>
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Rollercoastershttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09399672423366620095noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9189906569951686493.post-28418406981510728072016-12-11T15:27:00.000-08:002016-12-11T15:27:06.282-08:00If Only …in my dreams<div class="MsoNormal">
A little under five years ago, I had my first dream with
Zach in it.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I remember a young man
coming closer and closer and my heart rate going faster and faster in
anticipation of seeing “who” the young man was.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>As he came into my view, I was so overcome with excitement, joy,
relief~I suppose I felt all the emotions that come from seeing someone you love
whom you have not seen in a very long time.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>When I reached up with the reality of being able to truly hug my son, I
awoke.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Zach was in my dream.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He came to see me.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And with his handsome face and big beautiful
bright smile, his eyes seemed to penetrate my soul letting me know he was all
right and that he is near and watching over me.<o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Last January, early in the morning of my birthday, I had
another dream.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I felt as if a child was
at my bedside.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>When I looked up, there
was Zach (probably around the age of 3-4) staring at me.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He wanted to get into bed and snuggle, just
as he did when he was a little boy.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I
opened the covers and he climbed right in and snuggled right up.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Then, all of a sudden, he was deep into the
covers down by my feet, curled up into a ball staring up at me.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I lifted the covers and asked him, “What are
you doing?”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>His darling little face,
bright smile, and with those sparkling blue eyes that seemed to penetrate my
soul again seemed to say, “I love you Mom.”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>From that dream I sensed yet again, Zach is near and our angel is
watching over us.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Just a few months ago, I had another dream of Zach.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>In my dream, I was showing a woman around a
place that is very special and sacred to me.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>I was explaining to her the different areas and sharing “why” each place
is significant and important to me.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I
also shared that I began serving there shortly after Zach’s passing.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>This woman asked me “how” Zach died.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I shared with her how he passed away.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>To which she replied, “That is so sad.”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Our conversation continued by her asking me
if I see Zach when I am serving there.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I
replied with, “Every time!” (Of course, I do not see him every time, but this
was in my dream).<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>She then asked me, “Do
you see him now?”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I looked across the
room we were in and there was Zach.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Again, his countenance was as bright as the sun.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He was lovingly staring at me as if to
reassure me he is always near.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
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<div class="MsoNormal">
Each of my children has had a dream with Zach visiting
them.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>My husband has had many dreams
with Zach visiting him.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I believe dreams
are a way that loved ones can communicate with us.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I also believe that the Spirit can
communicate through our loved ones those very things we need to know and things
we need to do.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I love Elder Richard G.
Scott’s talk he gave in regards to personal revelation.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And in this particular talk, Elder Scott
addresses dreams and their significance to each of us personally.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I am attaching the talk if you are interested
in reading it.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<a href="http://www.lds.org/general-conference/2012/04/how-to-obtain-revelation-and-inspiration-for-your-personal-life?lang=eng">Elder Richard G. Scott "How to obtain revelation and inspiration"</a></div>
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<div class="MsoNormal">
One of Zach’s favorite Christmastime books was “The Polar
Express.” We love the movie and I especially love the song “Believe” by Josh
Groban.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The lyrics of this song resonate
with me and speak to my soul.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Specifically:<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="color: #1a1a1a; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial;">“Believe
in what your heart is saying<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="color: #1a1a1a; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial;">Hear
the melody that's playing<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="color: #1a1a1a; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial;">There's
no time to waste<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="color: #1a1a1a; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial;">There's
so much to celebrate<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="color: #1a1a1a; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial;">“Believe
in what you feel inside<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="color: #1a1a1a; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial;">And
give your dreams the wings to fly<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #1a1a1a; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial;">You
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<span style="color: #1a1a1a; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial;">If
you just believe”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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At this time of year, I believe that our Father in Heaven
gave us the greatest gift, His Son, our Savior, Jesus Christ.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I believe with all my heart that He provided
a way through the gift of His infinite atonement for us to be with our families
“forever” again.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>“Believe in what you
feel inside and give your dreams the wings to fly; you have everything you need…
if you just believe.”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></div>
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<!--StartFragment-->
<!--EndFragment--><br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
As for now, I can see Zach… if only in my dreams. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://3.bp.blogspot.com/-8zR1dVTjeD8/WE3dgH5gMXI/AAAAAAAABvo/ukFsj3s8zDQsB3l1Ik0bCa71I99PP_5DQCLcB/s1600/unnamed-3.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://3.bp.blogspot.com/-8zR1dVTjeD8/WE3dgH5gMXI/AAAAAAAABvo/ukFsj3s8zDQsB3l1Ik0bCa71I99PP_5DQCLcB/s1600/unnamed-3.jpg" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Gone but not forgotten</td></tr>
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<br />
<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: left; margin-right: 1em; text-align: left;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://2.bp.blogspot.com/-sm-Qi5K006E/WE3dgL92gKI/AAAAAAAABvk/GFjVZJ6KpKkZhX26HWoGLAt2F_r0jgwIQCLcB/s1600/unnamed-4.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="150" src="https://2.bp.blogspot.com/-sm-Qi5K006E/WE3dgL92gKI/AAAAAAAABvk/GFjVZJ6KpKkZhX26HWoGLAt2F_r0jgwIQCLcB/s200/unnamed-4.jpg" width="200" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Merry Christmas Zach!</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://2.bp.blogspot.com/-er4ayT6x5oM/WE3dgOV8sUI/AAAAAAAABvs/VRUDnLel68QdAX9YvMMFifVJip49z5f7ACLcB/s1600/unnamed-5.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; display: inline !important; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><img border="0" height="150" src="https://2.bp.blogspot.com/-er4ayT6x5oM/WE3dgOV8sUI/AAAAAAAABvs/VRUDnLel68QdAX9YvMMFifVJip49z5f7ACLcB/s200/unnamed-5.jpg" width="200" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">And then, there are sweet angels who remember our Zach</td></tr>
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<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<div style="text-align: left;">
</div>
<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: left; margin-right: 1em; text-align: left;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://2.bp.blogspot.com/-w5HCTUe5TqY/WE3eNP2IBcI/AAAAAAAABvw/yBYzU4MYR5oyma91ZNBGok-Y52NlVDjIwCEw/s1600/386514_319559528067861_1928490987_n.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="200" src="https://2.bp.blogspot.com/-w5HCTUe5TqY/WE3eNP2IBcI/AAAAAAAABvw/yBYzU4MYR5oyma91ZNBGok-Y52NlVDjIwCEw/s200/386514_319559528067861_1928490987_n.jpg" width="150" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Last hike in Zion</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://3.bp.blogspot.com/-IxztPnHE5Ok/WE3eV_xxBWI/AAAAAAAABv0/4Q5GMv3D2Aw8oRul9hngJtQSDCTvY2HrQCEw/s1600/377141_319556208068193_2114814560_n-2.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; display: inline !important; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><img border="0" height="200" src="https://3.bp.blogspot.com/-IxztPnHE5Ok/WE3eV_xxBWI/AAAAAAAABv0/4Q5GMv3D2Aw8oRul9hngJtQSDCTvY2HrQCEw/s200/377141_319556208068193_2114814560_n-2.jpg" width="150" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">He is our "angel"</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
"BELIEVE"</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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Rollercoastershttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09399672423366620095noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9189906569951686493.post-86945230672435810672016-11-13T19:34:00.001-08:002016-11-13T19:34:47.540-08:00What if just three words…. ?<div class="MsoNormal">
I have been pondering this thought for a while and wanted to
write a few of my feelings on the topic.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>What are the three words you ask?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>“I love you.”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Those three simple
yet powerful words have had a profound impact on my life.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I come from a long line of southern kissers, huggers, and
those that tell each other they love you often.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>My siblings, parents, grandparents, children, grandchildren, and even my cousins never fail to
express love to one another.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>When “love”
is present, there is a beautiful spirit that seems to bring a light to each and
every heart.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
But, what if, the last words you say to someone you love are
“I love you?”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>What if that is the last
thing you were given by someone you love before they departed this Earth?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Is that love something that could forever
change you?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Is that love something you
were meant to have as a gift?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Is it a
gift that would speak to the depths of your soul and lift you from the depths
of grief?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Personally, I think love is
the key that unlocks and opens many doors.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Doors of change, compassion, serving, helping, lifting, and the list
goes on.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Back in March of 1996, I received a phone call from a close
friend of my brother Tom.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He told me
that Tom had been admitted to the hospital and the doctor told him that Tom
would not be leaving.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Tom had gone in to
finish out his life in that hospital.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I flew out to be with my brother.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He was in excruciating pain with his liver
failing and each subsequent system in his body beginning to shut down.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>My brother was not a member of our church,
but I know he thought a lot about it.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>As
I sat with him, he kept looking out his hospital window as if he was searching
for something.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>When I would ask him what
he was looking for, he would simply say, “Nothing.”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>A few hours had passed when he exclaimed,
“there it is!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I knew it was out there
somewhere!”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I asked him, “What is out
there?”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The Dallas Temple.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He then had me sit him up in order to look at
the Temple.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>There we sat in his hospital
room side by side, holding hands, and staring at the place where families can
be sealed together, forever.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>In that
tender moment, my brother knew I loved him and I knew he loved me.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
As Tom began to fade into a coma, I aroused him enough in
order that I might say what would be my final good-bye.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He held my hand and told me how grateful he
was that I loved him and supported him through thick and thin.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And then, he told me how much he loved
me.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>That was the last thing he spoke to
me before he passed away.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Those three
simple words were a gift that would carry me through the grief of losing my
brother.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Fast forward to July 3, 2000.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I was sitting at our desk in the office that
evening.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I had a recurring prompting to
call home.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I questioned that prompting
as I had spoken to my mother just that morning, and really wondered “why” I
would receive that particular prompting.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Mom wasn’t going to be home, but Dad was.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I really didn’t want to call Dad, as he was
incredibly good at lecturing and offering unsolicited advice.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Most of my siblings and mother will tell you
that I am, in fact, a very independent person coupled with a dose of a “Type A”
yet very “yellow” personality. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Yet, there I was with this prompting that was circling me
and beckoning me to, “CALL HOME!”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Hence,
I called home. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Dad answered.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Quite honestly, that was one of the best and
most incredible conversations I had had with my Dad.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Yes, he did offer his unsolicited
advice.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But for whatever reason, I was
able to listen and actually accept what he had to say.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Towards the end of our conversation, he told
me how proud of me he was.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He told me
what a good mother I was.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And, my Dad
told me how much he loved me.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Upon finishing my conversation with Dad after talking nearly
30 minutes, I began to think, maybe I simply needed to hear and know that my
Dad loved me.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Honestly, the thought made
me smile and grateful I had called home.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
On July 4<sup>th</sup>, the very next day at about 10am, I
received a call from my sister informing me that Dad had a heart attack.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>My sister explained that hospital personnel
had placed my family into a private room awaiting the doctor’s report.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The physician finally came in and told them
that they had done everything they could and that my father had passed
away.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>My father was a career officer.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Thus our soldier, our father, went to his
heavenly home on July 4<sup>th</sup>.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
What if I hadn’t called home?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>What if I didn’t hear my father tell me how
proud he was of me?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>What if I didn’t
hear him tell me he loved me?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>What if I
didn’t listen to that prompting?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Those
are a lot of “what if’s.”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But the fact
of the matter is, I did listen.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I did
call home.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And, my last memory and
conversation was to hear that my father loved me.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Those three simple words continue to bless my
life, as I often ponder that moment in time ~ “I love you.”<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Now, let’s fast forward, again, to December 10, 2011.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It was a beautiful Saturday afternoon and I
was busily getting the laundry caught up.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>I had a pile of Zach’s laundry to put away and went into his room to do
just that.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Zach was in his room on his
computer.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>As I went to put his clothes
away, he turned to me and said, “Mom, I love you.”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I looked at him giving him a raised eyebrow
questioning “why” he would so randomly tell me that, but I told him I loved him
too.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I went into his closet and put his
clothes away.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And as I came out, he got
up from his chair, came to me, put his arm around me, hugging me, and said,
“Mom, I really do love you.”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I well remember that his sweet declaration of not just once,
but twice, filling me up to where “my cup runneth over.”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The very next day, December 11<sup>th</sup>,
Zach left this mortal existence.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>As I
have pondered Zach’s affirmation over and over and over again, how sweet and
profound those three little words have become in my life.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I have those beautiful and simple words
deeply rooted and fixed to the depths of my soul.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>How grateful I am that my Zach left me with
this gift, his gift of love.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He knew I
would need that gift to traverse through the depths of grief.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
The gift of love is an emotion that one cannot begin to
describe, and yet we recognize it, feel it deeply, and it literally can fill us
with a joy beyond compare.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I am grateful
for a family to love, and to have their love in return.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>What if just three words could bless your
life?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I love you.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Don’t let the opportunity pass you by…<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Times;">“Love your family.
Spend time, be kind and serve one another. Make no room for regrets. Tomorrow
is not promised and today is short.”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Unknown<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
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promote world peace? Go home and love your family.” <span style="color: #060606;">Mother Theresa</span></span><!--EndFragment-->
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Sometimes the light in Zach's room is so bright, I feel like he is there filling it up with light.</div>
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This is where I work on my genealogy and I know I have an angel helping me <3</div>
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Moments That Matter Most <3<br /><iframe width="320" height="266" class="YOUTUBE-iframe-video" data-thumbnail-src="https://i.ytimg.com/vi/l70e1TfN34w/0.jpg" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/l70e1TfN34w?feature=player_embedded" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe></div>
<span style="font-family: Cambria; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-font-family: Times; mso-bidi-language: AR-SA; mso-fareast-font-family: "MS 明朝"; mso-fareast-language: EN-US; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><span style="color: #060606;"><br /></span></span>Rollercoastershttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09399672423366620095noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9189906569951686493.post-31579380054640371222016-08-28T21:03:00.001-07:002016-08-29T06:34:02.557-07:00Have you ever wondered if God really knows who you are?<style>
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I have. </div>
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Since Zach’s passing I have had moments where I have truly
wondered if God really knows who I am.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And
during those moments I find myself asking, “Heavenly Father, do You really know
who I am?”</div>
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<br /></div>
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For those particular moments of sincere questioning, an
answer has always come.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>My answers have
come in many ways and most of them are unexpected, yet tailored just for
me.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And through those unforeseen answers,
I feel His loving words, “oh my dear daughter, I know who you are and I love
you.”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And almost every time, I also feel
Him tell me “you already know this.”</div>
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<br /></div>
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I can feel His love through my beautiful family.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>When I look into their eyes and feel of their
unconditional love for me, I somehow know that my Father in Heaven loves
me.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>There is something “heavenly” about
a family’s love.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Whether through phone
calls, face time, texts, or actual visits, hugs, and even kisses, I believe those are the precious
moments that not only keep us close as a family, but also keep us close to God.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The love I have for my family offers me a
glimpse of the love that my Father in Heaven has for even me.</div>
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<br /></div>
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I can feel His love through incredible friends.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Let me just say that on one or more occasion (mostly
more), my dear friends have blessed my life.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>My friends just seem to know when I need a Diet Coke, yummy chocolate
cake, a new emoji app, a text, or a phone call.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>In a world where everyone is so incredibly busy, that simple act of what
I label as “service” let’s me know I am loved.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>It reminds me of the scripture from Mosiah 2:17:<a href="https://www.blogger.com/null" name="17"></a><span class="verse"><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"> “</span></span><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">And behold, I tell
you these things that ye may learn wisdom; that ye may learn that when ye are
in the service of your fellow beings ye are only in the service of your God.”</span></div>
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<br /></div>
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Through gratitude, I can truly feel of my Father in Heaven’s
love for me.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Why gratitude you ask?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Let me just begin by saying that my sweet mother
taught me gratitude at a VERY young age.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>For every gift or help I may have received, I had to write “Thank You”
notes.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>That tutoring has continued on to
my children.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>After Zach’s funeral, I
wrote nearly 130 thank you notes.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>People
didn’t expect it, but with all the charitable acts that were sweetly given to
us, how could I not?!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Writing those
thank you notes was therapeutic.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>At a
time when I was emotionally devastated, those thank you notes helped me to feel
of God’s love for me.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Through those
thank you notes came the realization of ALL that was done for my family and me.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I thought of the scripture in Ephesians 1:16
“Cease not to give thanks…”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Gratitude in
everything we have, do, or receive is essential in keeping us grounded in
knowing and appreciating God’s love for us.</div>
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<br /></div>
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Yesterday morning I opened our patio doors to enjoy the cool
air just after it had finished raining.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>I observed some of the low lying clouds hanging over the bluffs, the
grass seemed a little greener, a few rays of the sun were trying to peek out
between the clouds, the fresh smell that comes from rain, and then the words to
a Primary song came to mind.</div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">“I like to look for rainbows whenever
there is rain</span></div>
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<span style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">And ponder on the beauty of an earth
made clean again.</span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">I want my life to be as clean as earth
right after rain.</span></div>
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<span style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">I want to be the best I can and live
with God again.”</span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<a href="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-D3l4QuALePA/V8Oz5FEbRtI/AAAAAAAABrg/H_MqCYPi440gMkLKp9TjpcjqoMHLwtn0gCLcB/s1600/thumb_IMG_2708_1024.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-D3l4QuALePA/V8Oz5FEbRtI/AAAAAAAABrg/H_MqCYPi440gMkLKp9TjpcjqoMHLwtn0gCLcB/s320/thumb_IMG_2708_1024.jpg" width="205" /></a></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">I want to be the BEST I can to live
with God again.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I have a deep love for
my Father in Heaven and my Savior Jesus Christ.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>For with that particular love, I begin to understand, feel, and know of
how They reciprocate Their love for me. </span><span style="font-family: "times"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Unconditional love.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>A parent’s love for their children is
steadfast and unconditional.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And so it
is with our Father in Heaven~He is steadfast in His love for each of us.</span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: "times"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">I Am His Daughter </span></div>
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Rollercoastershttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09399672423366620095noreply@blogger.com3