Is
there such a thing as ‘Good’ ‘Grief?’ I am sure many could debate this
particular topic, but let me share why I think there is good in grief, or
perhaps that good can come from grief.
Having
experienced the depths of grief from the loss of our son Zach, I need to
clarify that I in no way consider myself an ‘expert’ on grief. With that
said, my personal experiences with grief have tutored me and have helped me to
find the ‘good,’ and have enabled me to “press forward” with that "perfect
brightness of hope."(2 Nephi 31:20) Maybe this ‘good’ part just
happens to be where my faith comes in.
There
truly is ‘good’ in mourning the loss of a loved one. Quite simply, we
love those we have lost. And for me, I believe that the grieving process
has helped with the healing of my soul. I have also learned that I cannot
let grief control or consume me. Did you even know that ‘grief’ could do
this??? Grief is a powerful emotion and we must possess the fortitude and
the discipline to maintain control of it, and to eventually overcome it.
You
may ask “how” do I gain control of it? How do I get in front of it?
How do I not let it pull me in to the depths of despair? The answer
for me has been simple, and yet involves an incredible amount of effort coupled
with an unwavering faith. I have had many profound moments that have
awakened my soul and strengthened my faith along this journey through grief.
I am grateful that my faith and especially that my loving Savior has succored
me as well as guided me through those difficult days and time.
Directly
after Zach’s passing, I had many tell me various negative things that will, in
a nutshell, destroy my faith, my family, and even me. These "words
of advice," or "words of comfort" shocked me. Those very
words, I suppose, shocked me into action. After fervent prayer (okay...
INFINITE fervent prayers), I knew, with the help of my Savior and my Father in
Heaven, my faith would not dwindle. I confidently "pressed
forward" to ensure that the death of our son Zach would in no way shatter
my family or crush me. I also made the conscientious choice to never allow
the arms of despair to wrap around me. I knew if I let despair in that I
would be giving up my hope. For, despair is the antithesis of hope.
Through
this trial and journey, I knew I needed and I wanted to be able to turn to our
Savior. He is the One who helps me to maintain control of grief. He
has helped me to stay an inch, a step, and even miles in front of it. The
Savior has my complete trust; and my heart and dedication belong to Him.
Because of this, He saves me from ever being caught in the grasps of
despair.
Maybe
my faith is just too simple. Even so, our Father in Heaven and our Savior
Jesus Christ are at the helm of my ship. Does my ship ever hit a storm,
or two, or three?? Well, I am human. I am just a mere mortal trying
to find my way home. When I have a twenty-foot swell coming at me, or a
wave that rocks my boat, I drop to my knees and pray. I read and ponder
the scriptures. I also try to find ways to serve. (I could actually
give you a SUPER long list of the things I do…but, I think you get the gest of
it!).
Do
these things always solve the problem? …not necessarily. However,
doing those very things is essential in helping us weather any storm.
They are essential in helping to buoy our faith. They are the very
things that can deliver comfort and eventually peace. They are the firm
and sure foundation we can stand on~the rock that never will crumble.
And,
when the storm has calmed, the sea has smoothed, and I see the beautiful
sunrise in the horizon, I believe I catch a glimpse of heavenly peace.
For me, that is the place where our Father in Heaven, our Savior Jesus
Christ, and my Zach dwell.
So,
the questions still stand. Can grief be good? Can good come from
our grief? I suppose the only one who can answer that question is you.
Some Where Over the Rainbow...
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| I see Zach much like this in my dreams~forever in my heart <3 |
