Well, here we are in the year 2013. Today is 1/13/13 and it is official…I am 54
years old now!!! It is truly hard to
believe that another year has passed in our lives and passed without one of our
children here with us in mortality. I
believe my soul has learned some powerful lessons of things I should do and as
to how I should live my life. While I am
far from perfect, I am grateful for the lessons that humble me, teach me, and help
me to reach for my own divine potential.
My New Year’s resolutions have included many of the normal
things such as losing weight and getting out of debt. But, some of my resolutions have come from
introspect – through examining the many inadequacies of the imperfect person I
am. Quite simply, I need to “do” better. “Do” equals action. It seems as if I am always “doing”
something—but I need to do better in doing the things that have purpose,
meaning, and ultimately help someone other than myself!
I gave a talk recently in church, and I truly feel as if I
need to share it with you. Simply, it has to do
with "doing" in order to find the "healing."
My birthday wish is for each of us to look past ourselves and do
something that will help someone in need.
And that would be … a Happy Birthday for me.
This is a video about putting on "God's glasses" to see that there are many who could use our help :)
Below is my talk:
I want to pose the question, Can one truly heal from
tragedy? It has been a little over a
year now since Zach’s passing and while I miss him each and every day, I want
to stand as a witness today that it is possible to heal. It is possible that at some point in our
lives, we could be faced with some sort of trial or tragedy that may test the
very roots of our faith. It is at these
trying times that we must be sure to turn to the One and only One who can heal
our aching hearts.
For
in Luke chapter 4:18 it reads:
18 The aSpirit of the Lord is upon me, because
he hath banointed me to cpreach the dgospel to the epoor; he hath sent me to heal the brokenhearted, to fpreach gdeliverance to the hcaptives, and recovering of sight to the blind,
to set at iliberty them that are bruised,
I have a debt of gratitude to and for my Savior for
succoring even my broken-heart. I am
grateful for His example of unconditional love and service.
For me, healing has come through many avenues. It has come through prayer, scripture study,
inspiration, and serving. I have also
learned that healing is an active process.
Healing requires effort on my part to press forward—even when my heart
feels the heaviest. For me, I have found
that I cannot sit idly waiting to be healed.
This is not how it works. Healing
is in fact active, active through doing.
Serving has been one of the greatest avenues in helping to
bring me comfort and peace. I have had to look past my grief to
see that there is a world that needs my help.
Simply put, serving is healing.
Sister
Elaine S. Marshall stated in a devotional at BYU in 2002,
We Must Help Others Heal
The fifth lesson of
learning the healer’s art is the obligation and great gift it is to help others
heal. President Gordon B. Hinckley has admonished: “As members of the Church of
Jesus Christ, ours is a ministry of healing, with a duty to bind the
wounds and ease the pain of those who suffer. Upon a world afflicted with greed
and contention, upon families distressed by argument and selfishness, upon
individuals burdened with sin and troubles and sorrows, I invoke the healing
power of Christ.” 8
Every day someone in your
path is hurting, someone is afraid, someone feels inadequate, or someone needs
a friend. Someone needs you to notice, to reach out, and to help him or her to
heal. You may not know who that is at the time, but you can give encouragement
and hope. You can help heal wounds of misunderstanding and contention. You can
serve “in the cause of the Master Healer.” 9
My healing process continues even today and will more than
likely continue for years to come. I
feel that my healing process began the day Zach left this mortal
existence. I am sure some of you may
wonder how that can be. I would like to
share with you some very personal experiences, which have helped to provide
healing in my life.
For those of you who were at Zach’s funeral, I shared what
happened the night of Zach’s passing as I lay in bed. I laid in bed with a broken-heart, tears that
would not seem to stop, and staring into the dark. The Lord knew what I needed and through the
whisperings of the Spirit came some comfort.
First, came some lines of scripture—“Lean not to thine own understanding,”
and “trust in the Lord.” (from Proverbs 3:5-6) Then came the hymn, “Sweet is
the Peace the Gospel Brings.” Because
of our human nature, my desire was to understand and process what had happened—but
because the Lord loves me, He wanted me to be sure that my heart turned to Him
and that I put my trust in Him. Even
today, a year later, those lines of scripture continue to remind me to keep my
“eye single to the glory of God.” He
then reminds me of the hymn, “Sweet is the Peace the Gospel Brings.” In my depths of despair, through this hymn, I
have been reminded of everything I know, everything I believe, and everything I
have been promised if I stay the course, keep the faith, and simply endure to
the end.
In
October 2005, Russell M. Nelson stated in an article:
Willingness to serve and
strengthen others stands as a symbol of one’s readiness to be healed.
When sore trials come
upon us, 32 it’s time to deepen our faith in God, to work hard, and
to serve others. Then He will heal our broken hearts. He will bestow upon us
personal peace 33 and comfort. 34 Those great gifts will
not be destroyed, even by death.
The gift of resurrection
is the Lord’s consummate act of healing. Thanks to Him, each body will be
restored to its proper and perfect frame. 35 Thanks to Him, no
condition is hopeless. Thanks to Him, brighter days are ahead, both here and
hereafter. Real joy awaits each of us—on the other side of sorrow.
Furthermore, James E. Faust stated in his article:
Recent information seems
to confirm that the ultimate spiritual healing comes in the forgetting of self.
A review of the accounts indicates that those who survived best in prison and
hostage camps were those who were concerned for their fellow prisoners and were
willing to give away their own food and substance to help sustain the others.
Dr. Viktor Frankl stated: “We who lived in concentration camps can remember the
men who walked through the huts comforting others, giving away their last piece
of bread. They may have been few in number, but they offer sufficient proof
that everything can be taken from a man but one thing: the last of the human
freedoms—to choose one’s attitude in any given set of circumstances, to choose
one’s own way.” 11 The Savior of the world said it very simply: “And
whosoever shall lose his life shall preserve it.”
Back in February, Mark and I were asked to serve as advisors in
the St. George Special Needs Mutual.
This was something Mark & I had started to do together and quite
honestly for the first time in a calling—I painfully confess, I had a difficult
time giving my all. While I absolutely
love my special friends, I was letting the wedge of my own personal sorrow and
grief hold me back from serving with all my heart. Then with the many changes in Mark’s work, he
had to be released--as his call schedule at work changed--that simply made it
impossible for him to be there. I just
didn’t know if I could fully commit with Mark not being there with me. At our first meeting in September after
school began again, I was sitting in the chapel listening to the talks and
singing our signature songs when I received personal inspiration. I had gone to this meeting thinking, “I will
probably ask to be released.” At one
point during the meeting, as clear as day, the Spirit whispered, “This is where
you need to be.” At that very moment, I
was able to let any and every apprehension I had go and offer all that I have
in serving these wonderful children of God.
The past four months serving in Special Needs has been
incredible. Our special friends love
every activity we prepare for them. They
have unconditional love and plenty of it for everyone. I have been able to witness many miracles in
some of our special friends lives. Being
able to offer all that I have in serving our special needs friends–these choice
sons and daughters of God has brought solace to my soul and an incredible
amount of healing.
This past month, Patty Foote, our Humanitarian specialist
provided us an opportunity to perform service at Head Start—to go and play with
these pre-school children and read to them.
I found myself signing up to read to these pre-schoolers. I went and read the book, “The three little
wolves and the big bad pig,” and fulfilled my duties. After I read my book, the teacher asked me to
come back and read on a regular basis and I told her I would think about
it. When I left, this opportunity to
serve these sweet children was on the forefront of my mind. My heart was saying that I need to
participate in this service opportunity, yet again I found myself in conflict
over committing to serving there. Upon
pondering what I should do, I was prompted with a hymn and the hymn that came
to mind was… ”Because I Have Been Given Much.”
Well, my first reaction was to look heavenward and I said
“really???!!!” So, I returned the
following week and explained to the teacher that because I had so much fun—I
came back to read some more.
As I found myself on the floor playing with these sweet
children, I was reminded of when I volunteered twice a week in Zach’s
kindergarten class. I recalled many
sweet memories of that time in his young life.
I could feel Zach’s joy as I helped these Head Start children expand
their imaginations while playing and reading with them.
On December 22, I was at a store with Rachel helping her to find
her Christmas presents. I ran into a
friend there, Sherra Schupple, who then invited us to come to Kolob Care Center
on the 24th to help her and her family perform a Christmas program
for the residents there. The word that
spilled out of my mouth was “sure.” Mark
was on ER call, which means we don’t see him at all, so on the 24th,
Christmas Eve, Rachel and I went with the Schupples to perform the story of our
Savior’s birth. What a choice experience
to sing for and with these people—some of whom were going to be alone on
Christmas day. After performing, I
watched as the Schupple family and my daughter made their way over to the
residents, held their hands, and simply spent time talking with them—and as you
might have guessed, I joined in as well and felt the spirit of Christmas simply
envelope me.
The place where I have found an immense amount of healing is in
the temple, through being an ordinance worker in the House of the Lord.
President James E. Faust
in the July 2005 Ensign stated:
“The Lord has provided
many avenues by which we receive this healing influence. I am grateful that He
has restored temple work to the earth. It is an important part of the work of
salvation for both the living and the dead. Our temples provide a sanctuary where
we go to lay aside many of the anxieties of the world. Our temples are places
of peace and tranquillity. In these hallowed sanctuaries God “healeth the
broken in heart, and bindeth up their wounds.””
As an ordinance worker, I have found an incredible amount of
peace and comfort through learning the ordinances and carrying out my duties
with a full purpose of heart. It is
through this service that I can forget all my worries and focus solely on
performing my assignments. My
assignments range from being an initiatory worker, veil worker, sister follower
on a session, to some of the more simpler duties of working the hall or guide
chairs. Through carrying out each
assignment, the one constant recurring feeling I get is that the temple is full
of love. The ordinance workers I have
the privilege of working with are full of love and compassion for one another
and many have stories of incredibly difficult trials and tragedies—but have
come to work their sorrows away through serving in our Father’s house.
Yesterday, we had the opportunity to go to the temple as a
family and be together doing proxy work for my kindred dead and for Zach. Words just cannot adequately express the
tender feelings I have from this experience.
As I entered the Celestial room, I saw family. I saw friends who are near and dear to my
heart. Looking around the room, I was
overcome with the glimpse of what it will be like when we are reunited with
those we love—with Zach. With hugs,
kisses, “I love you’s,” and more hugs, there was nothing there but a pure love
for one another. I truly felt as if my
cup had runneth over. I know that Zach
was with us. Zach is happy. Zach is busy and he will again be with us one
day. The Lord’s plan is indeed a plan of
salvation and of happiness.
I do want to share
one last experience I have had of recent.
About
5 years ago, Susan Hancock who was in the Stake Young Women presidency asked me
if our family would be willing to participate in a Stake Youth Temple
Fireside—to be held at the St. George Temple.
Mark, Rachel, Zach, and I were asked to all dress in white. Mark, Rachel, & I were to be standing by
the temple as if we were waiting for Zach to come back to us on the other side
of the veil. The youth were seated on
the patio facing away from us. Standing
in front of the youth, Zach sang “Families Are Forever.” After our family finished singing the chorus,
he crossed the bushes and came running into our arms and we lovingly and
excitedly embraced him-welcoming him home.
I had completely forgotten about this experience until a couple of
months ago when Brother Gentry and his daughter performed a musical
number. When Brother Gentry’s daughter
began to sing, it was as if someone was sitting next to me whispered, “Do you
remember when…,” at which point I turned to Mark and asked “Do you remember
when our family performed at the temple and Zach sang, ‘I have a family here on
earth?” We both began to cry as we
remembered this sweet and tender experience.
Zach
does have a family here on earth, we want to share our lives with him through
all eternity. Instead of us welcoming
him home, I know that Zach will be welcoming us home with open arms.
