It Is From the Depths of Grief We Can Find Our Strength

 I have so many “feels” this year as I ponder yet another year, nine to be exact, without our Zachy boy.  As I go back to that moment in time of when we found Zach’s lifeless body, there are so many emotions that surface from that incredibly heartbreaking experience.  I well remember calling 9-1-1, the ambulance coming, the police arriving, the coroner to pronounce Zach dead giving us an approximate time of death, and then his lifeless body in a black body bag.  I kissed that young man of mine’s forehead before they zipped up the bag and wheeled him out of our home, his home.  For me, there truly could not have been a more difficult experience to go through and endure.

As I ponder that moment in time with all the deep feelings that go with losing a child to death, I have found my journey through grief has proven to teach me countless lessons.  I draw immense strength through those lessons and I have deep gratitude for what I have learned.  

 

I have learned that tears are my friend.  They are cleansing.  My tears let me know I can feel deeply and that I loved Zach unwaveringly.  Tears, they quietly speak what my heart is feeling.

 

I have learned that prayer is essential.  Pray in the morning, to ask for help with your day.  Pray at night, to offer your thanks for your day.  And simply, have a prayer in your heart all day.  I have found help with the simplest to the most difficult of things through prayer.

 

I have learned reading the scriptures offers understanding, comfort, and peace.  I listened to an interview of a politician who is under scrutiny in regards to our recent election.  What impressed me most was toward the end of his interview.  He spoke of losing his son to drug addiction and how his faith in God has carried him through that trial.  He also shared how reading the scriptures helps him not only with the loss of his son, but also with all the threats and chaos surrounding him.  When asked if he could share a favorite scripture, he said he has been reading from the book of Psalms and that Chapter 37 in particular has been bringing him comfort.  His story truly resonated with me.  Because, there have been countless times when I have been reading the scriptures, or guided to read certain passages of scripture, or having a particular scripture come to mind, are when answers, comfort, and peace have come.

 

I have learned and come to appreciate how each and every one of us has trials.  I have also learned and seen how the gospel makes a difference, offering hope.  By having Jesus Christ in my life, the very foundation of my beliefs, peace and comfort have come.  “Perspective.”  Each personal experience I have had as I have journeyed through my grief has given me perspective, has elevated my faith with a promise for a brighter tomorrow.

 

I have learned that while life may not always be fair, God always is, because He is God!  For every disappointment, suffering, pain, or heartache, He offers hope, He offers comfort, He offers peace.  Those assurances can sustain and bless, if you will but turn your heart to Him.

 

I have learned to deeply appreciate life.  To appreciate moments.  To appreciate the ups as well as the downs.  I have learned to appreciate the gift of family, the gift of friends, the gift of love.  While my heart may ache when recalling a memory of Zach or by looking at a picture of Zach, I am grateful to know what a “Mother’s love” is.  I am grateful for that son of mine.  For all that he taught me in life and for all I have been taught and continue to learn through his death, I am grateful and blessed to have had thirteen and a half beautiful years with this incredible young man.  Love is a gift.

 

Happy Angelversary Zach!  You are loved.  You are missed.  And, I cherish each and every memory of you.  Everyday.

After Zach’s passing, I listened to this song countless times.

(I posted a video from Hillary Weeks “Beautiful Heartbreak”-if it doesn’t show up when 

Looking @ your iPhone, just go to YouTube & check it out-get some Kleenex!)

Brooklynn @ Zach’s plot

Memory @ Aaron & Katie’s Wedding

Zach’s best buddy... his Dad

One of the last pictures we have before he passed

Always making us smile

Arrow of light

Zach’s favorite niece

CoViD-19, Testing and Masks: A Matter of Compassion and Common Sense

I have seen many posts about stopping CoViD testing and declarations of “why” someone has chosen to “not” wear a mask.  Couple all of that with many posts of those who mock others who are trying to stay safe by wearing a mask, social distancing, and washing hands.  These particular posts also tell those of us who are trying to stay safe to “just let them live their lives.”  Those of us who have chosen to try and stay safe, and keep others safe, while being labeled as “sheeples.”

I want to address a few of these so called uninformed “declarations.”  First and foremost, to “stop” CoViD-19 testing is ludicrous.  To stop testing will, in fact, NOT make this pandemic go away.  Testing does, in fact, help our healthcare professionals and scientists track and identify where the spread is occurring.  If you could possibly have strep, what do you do?  You get tested to know why your throat is sore with white spots all over.  WHY? Why? Why then, I ask, should you not get tested for CoViD-19?  If you could possibly be sick with the flu, what do you do?  You get tested to know “why” you have all these “flu-like” symptoms.  I ask again, then, WHY should you NOT get tested for COViD-19?  When you stand on your soapbox attempting to get everyone to jump on your bandwagon for something you are ill-informed about, you are showing your level of intelligence on this topic… rather, the lack thereof.  

 

The thinking that not testing for the disease can actually make it go away makes about as much sense as you not counting your birthdays to keep you from getting any older.

 

 If you are sick and are unsure what is wrong, but it appears you have many of the symptoms for CoViD-19, are you going to go to the ER or Urgent Care?  If those healthcare professionals say, “we need to test you for COVID-19.”  What are you going to do?  If you are the one who is trying to lead many on the “Stop Testing for COVID-19” bandwagon, are you going to stand by your so-called beliefs, tell those healthcare workers no, and go home and tough it out?  Remember, YOU were the one who chose your so-called “mission.”  Maybe instead, you should try researching “why” testing is important and how it helps not only physicians and scientists, but our families, communities, and fellow human beings as we battle this unprecedented deadly pandemic.  You may learn something.

 

Next on my list is MASKS. 

https://www.cdc.gov/coronavirus/2019-ncov/prevent-getting-sick/cloth-face-cover-guidance.html

 

Because we do not yet have a vaccine for COVID-19, the best thing we can do is to wear a mask, wash our hands, and social distance.  When I wear my mask properly, I am saying that I care about you and am doing my part to protect you from me.  I have seen a slew of “declarations” of “why” someone has publicly stated how they have chosen “NOT” to wear a mask.  Their reasons are all “selfish.”  Period.  The end.  What I hear you say is:

A)    It is more important for people to see my entire face because people need to see my smile to know I am friendly

B)     It is the best decision for me

C)     I just want to live my life the way I want… WOW… wouldn’t we all like to do that??!!

D)    The virus is a hoax – this is perhaps my favorite because it is so utterly ridiculous- let me help you out…

Nationwide statistics

 https://www.cdc.gov/coronavirus/2019-ncov/cases-updates/cases-in-us.html

Utah statistics by county

https://www.cdc.gov/coronavirus/2019-ncov/cases-updates/county-map.html?state=UT

Do you really think our amazing healthcare professionals are really all about helping to mastermind a “hoax” of this magnitude, one that is responsible for over 170,000 deaths in the U.S. since it first appeared?  Coronavirus has now become the third leading cause of death in our country, behind heart disease and cancer.

 

These are the messages you are communicating when you proclaim you will not wear a mask:

A)    I do not care if your or my parents or grandparents have health issues.  I am not wearing a mask around them.

B)     I do not care if your sister, mother, brother, father, whoever has cancer.  I am not wearing a mask around them.

C)     I do not care if someone is immune compromised, I am not wearing a mask around them.

D)    I do not care if you are a healthcare worker and are exposed to CoViD-19 daily (my husband, son and son-in-law for example), I am not wearing a mask around them.

E)     I do not care if there are rules at a store to help protect the workers, I am not wearing a mask around them.

 

And, by  the way, it was reported today that a previously healthy 7 year old child recently died from CoViD-19.  A 30 year old man who attended a CoViD-19 party regretted his decision on his death bed, realizing this disease is not a hoax.  https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=TrKXC-Ec-hI

 

Do you even begin to see the selfishness of your decisions?  I do not care whether you are a Republican or a Democrat, as this is NOT a political agenda.   What I do care about is when I see you lose your compassion for your fellowman.  I think this is a time to reassess your values, your values as a human being.  

 

For those of my faith, our area presidency reached out to every member in our area asking us to wear our masks.  I believe they know something, and were given that inspiration to direct us and to help keep us safe.  

 

Dear Brothers and Sisters: We are in the midst of a global pandemic unlike any the world has experienced in more than a century. The effects of this escalating health crisis are being felt everywhere, with incidents of COVID-19 infection rising dramatically especially in the United States, including in Utah. Latter-day Saints are not immune. Just today, more than 800 new infections were reported in our state. A growing chorus of medical authorities has confirmed that the simple wearing of a face covering when in public and when social distancing is not possible will significantly reduce the spread of COVID-19. This is true both indoors and outdoors. We note with appreciation the care exhibited by our members in returning to sacrament meetings wearing face masks. Now we ask all Latter-day Saints in the Utah Area to be good citizens by wearing face coverings when in public. Doing so will help promote the health and general welfare of all.  We are most grateful for all you do to minister to one another and to your neighbors. Please join with us now in common purpose for the blessing and benefit of all.

 

Before you post something you really know nothing about, DO.YOUR.HOMEWORK!  Don’t make an unintelligent statement just because you think you are going to start a trend or try to raise a banner about it.  Be sure you have your facts from a reliable, objective, fact based resource.

 

Remember, this is not only about you, BUT most assuredly this is about how we can help everyone around us, including those we love the most, survive this pandemic.

The StRaW That Broke The Camels BaCk and then some….

 Hello from Sunny St. George!  I have not written in a while, as… well… there has not been much to write about.  That really is not entirely true, but I have needed to have time to gather my thoughts in order to put my heart out there in words.

 

The world seems to be spinning out of control with plagues, pestilence, and violence.  We watch the news and are shown many instances of how people are negative, angry, and even depressed.  We go to the grocery store where many of the shelves are emptied of the essential needed items.  I see many of my friends on social media who are struggling with life threatening illnesses.  These are hard and heart heavy times both in our world and for many of us in our personal lives.  The likes which I have never before seen in my lifetime.

 

H.O.P.E!!

Here are some awesome acronyms for HOPE:

Helping Other People Everyday

Hold On, Peace Exists

Helping Other People Enthusiastically 

Have Only Positive Expectations

Hold Onto Prayer Everyday

He Offers Peace Eternally

 

I believe you know where I am headed.  Each and everyday each of us is faced with some sort of trial.  The trial can be from some one simply cutting you off while driving, to losing a job, to having familial difficulties, or to having health trials.  Whatever our trials, we must not lose our “HOPE!”  I believe “hope” is a very real part of our soul’s make up.  Hope is the very reason we can press on.  Hope is knowing that life will be better tomorrow.  Hope is the very essence of my faith. 

 

Life has thrown Mark and me many trials the past few months.  It has been both stressful and depressing, and yet we seem to see many blessings that have offered us the “hope” we have needed to cling to.  Back in May, Mark had an esophagram to see if his esophagus still had a leak.  And yes, it did.  The physician decided to put a G-tube into his stomach where he would feed himself for the next two months.  He was to be “strict NPO,” meaning no food or fluids via his mouth.  This makes me think of a Monty Python line with the Black Night when he said, “None shall pass!”  In two months, the physician would order another esophagram to see if the leak had gotten smaller or had closed off.

 

Two months later, the leak had decreased significantly.  Significantly enough, Mark has been able to begin eating again.  He is on trial for a few weeks with food to make sure 1) he can tolerate eating and 2) his blood work stays stable.  During the past two months because of Mark’s nutrition, he has had a couple of physical trials.  The first trial is the tendon in Mark’s shoulder has completely detached.  This is the same shoulder that had a FULL replacement back in November. UGH!  The second physical trial happened a few weeks ago when Mark felt something crack in his back-this would be the STRAW that broke the camel’s back!  UGH!  After an MRI it was found that he had not ONE, but had TWO compression fractures at T8 and T9.  He was in a lot of pain and yet he still pressed on and went to work.  Mark really gives meaning to “he takes a licking and keeps on ticking.”

 

Mark had a really tough 5-6 hour case this past week.  After he finished, he realized he needed to get his back fixed asap.  On Thursday, he had a procedure called Kyphoplasty (Google it or YouTube it) done.  Basically, they inject cement into those spaces offering him much relief.  He still has some pain, but it is post-procedural pain.  HOPEfully, he will be feeling much better by Monday.  I am so grateful for modern day medicine and the things that can be done to improve our everyday quality of life.  We continue to see the light at the end of the tunnel-HOPE.  That is the latest update on Mark.

 

Monday, July 27^th, would be Zach’s 22^nd birthday.  As I was walking out of the hospital on Thursday after Mark’s procedure, I walked past the Narrows Conference Room where a plaque says “In celebration of Zachary Thomas Pulsipher” hangs.  As I stared at that for a moment, I got choked up.   It truly brings both Mark and I so much joy to see that sign hanging there.  We not only remember Zach on his birthday or other holidays, but we remember him, think about him, and deeply miss him each and every day.  However, we focus on the joy he brought us while he was here.  We remember his laugh, his hugs, and his love.  Our biggest hopes and dreams are to see him and be with him again in the eternities.  It is up to Mark and I to try and earn that privilege and blessing.  Happy Birthday big boy!!!  Our Zachy boy.

 

Zach’s famous banana chair video

Zach videoing Andy after putting a teaspoonful of Wasabi in his mouth

I LOVE hearing Zach’s laugh... even still

I want to close with these two acronyms for H.O.P.E:

Hold Onto Prayer Everyday

            Just pray!  Everyday pray!  Not only pray for the things you are in need of, but pray for those who need your prayers as well.  I feel I have been deeply blessed and given many calm reassurances (hope) that “things will be alright.”  Heavenly Father wants to hear from you.  Prayer is your way to call home and communicate your heart.

 

He Offers Peace Eternally

            When I see this particular acronym, I think of this scripture:

“Peace I leave with you, my peace I give unto you: not as the world giveth, give I unto you. Let not your heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid” (John 14:26–27).

 

Be kind.  Be caring.  Be loving.  Be prayerful.  Be Christlike.

And, keep the light of H.O.P.E shining bright in your heart. 

It is when you think you “can’t,” you find you can

Three and a half weeks ago, Mark underwent surgery for his esophageal perforation.  Three and a half weeks!!!  After his surgery, I well remember his surgeon tell me that day three through day eight were going to be “critical” days.  

Day three came in with a vengeance!  When Dr. Manwaring came in to round on Mark, Mark asked him, “Am I going to make it?”  I think this question stunned Dr. Manwaring and he told Mark with great assurances, he would.  One thing you have to know about Mark is that he is not the dramatic type.  He is a no nonsense, let’s get to the point kind of person, and most always has a level head in any given situation.  And yet, he married his polar opposite, me!

Not more than an hour later after Dr. Manwaring’s visit,  Mark looked at me and told me, “I don’t know if I am going to make it.”  He also told a friend of ours, Kelly Taysom, “I know something is wrong, and I am not sure I’m going to make it.”  I went out of the room and tearfully told Kelly, “I can’t do this again!  I can’t bury another member of my family.”  After receiving a priesthood blessing, I remember the impression I received.  “I can do this.  I can do hard things.  No matter what, I have the faith to march through the toughest situations.  Have faith in the plan.”  I felt a calm reassurance that “whatever happens,” everything will be alright.  “I can” do all things through my faith in our Savior Jesus Christ.

Obviously, Mark made it through those days.  We have also come to learn that what Mark was feeling that day was most likely a post-surgical leak from his repair.  Dr. Gardner explained that one of the post-surgery complications would be a leak and that he may have to go back in one to two more times to adjust the drain.  However, Mark’s symptoms began to subside, and slowly he began to improve each day.  Then, he was finally released from the hospital with his feed tube, his PICC line, and his Penrose drain to allow residual infection to drain from his neck.  ALL of his medical needs were now going to fall on me!  He does have “Home Health.”  But, guess what?  They only come twice a week!!  How dare them!!!!!  I looked at him and said, “I can’t do all that!!!”  I am not a fan of needles, blood, or guts.  As a matter of fact, I get quite woozy when I have to even have a shot.  Placing the care of someone’s life, my husband, in my hands, is daunting to say the least.

For you medical people reading this, I am sorry!  Just remember, I did not get a degree in medicine!  

Now, let me explain some of Mark’s medical needs with my minuscule medical knowledge.  Mark has to have his feed bag and flush bag changed once a day, aka his “Joey pack.”  He has to have his delicious liquid food replenished twice a day.  He has to have his medications crushed, liquified, and then flushed down his feed tube.  We can’t forget the pump that has to have the tubes installed just so, flushed, run, and repeat.  Then, there is his Penrose drain.  The dressing has to be changed, and the wound cared for.  Did you know underneath his dressing is a hole in his neck with a drain coming out?  Wound care is also part of Mark’s medical necessities.  I put gloves on, remove the dressing with alcohol wipes, irrigate the wound site with hydrogen peroxide, change gloves, rub barrier film on his skin before I apply new gauze with tape.  Let’s move on to the PICC line.  Taking care of the PICC line causes me serious anxiety.  He has three lumens for his particular PICC line.  He has a white, gray, and a red one.  For each lumen, I must remove the light blue cap, clean with an alcohol wipe, flush the line, heparin lock the line, and then put a new light blue cap on.  He also requires having antibiotics infused once every day through the gray line.  For this, I need to remove the antibiotics from the fridge to warm it up just a bit.  When it is ready, I must remove the light blue cap, clean with an alcohol wipe, flush the line,  then attach the antibiotics.  Before flushing ANY of the lines I must always remember to unclamp the clamp, and clamp when done.  The good news is that I have not caused any harm to Mark.  I am the best he has, poor man!

HOW did I learn this stuff??  Our angel daughter, Rachel, came down to care for her Dad.  Rachel has a degree in nursing and her specialty is “critical care.”  She literally did everything to care for her Dad and more. I must say she is light years better than I ever could dream(but, I really do not dream of being a nurse-remember that I dislike needles…), but she does have a degree in nursing after all!  She got up in the middle of the night to administer meds when he needed them.  When he needed anything, she knew exactly what to do.  Me, I was on the sidelines taking care of the grandkids.  I am a professional Nana and know how to take care of the babies~easy peasy!

However, it became apparent that Mark was not going to lose his feed tube any time soon, nor his PICC line, nor his Penrose drain.  We could not expect Rach to stay down here for the duration of Mark’s medical care.  So, Rachel patiently taught me how to care for Mark, my husband, her father.  I probably was not her best trainee, but I tried my best to learn what I need to do.  I still get freaked out when there is a baby bubble in the syringe, or “thinking” that I accidentally touched the hub to one of his port lines (there goes another alcohol wipe), or looking at the drain and having to clean it (my stomach is a little off even thinking about it).  Rachel was the angel we needed to get us through Mark’s first week and a half home.

While I wished Rachel was still here to take care of Mark, I have faced my “I can’t” and have found “I can.”  I did tell Mark, “I hope I never have to do this again!”  Perspective… he said, “I hope I never have to do this again.”  When you love someone, it is remarkable to see what you “can” do during those crisis moments in time.  In finding my “I can,” I have found how my faith has grown and has been refined.  

Mark’s update:

He still has his tube feed.  I call his IV poll with his Joey bags and pump his girlfriend.  Mark has told me that he is NOT fond of her.

He still has his PICC line.  He will have this for probably three to four more weeks as he has to have his antibiotics infused through the line once a day to treat any residual infection, and blood drawn from it twice a week.  I will be glad to see that thing GONE!!!  

He still has the Penrose drain in his neck.  He goes tomorrow to have the drain advanced.  We are hoping that when Dr. Gardner advances the drain that it actually comes the rest of the way out.  If it does, Mark will then have another esophagram.  If the esophagram shows no leak (and we are praying vigilantly for that), they will do a swallow study.  And from there, the sky is the limit, right?!!

Mark’s Penrose drain (he would kill me, but thought you all need to see what this is)

My handy dandy ultimate  pill crusher

When all you can do is to: “Have Faith in the Plan”

I have actually started and restarted this post countless times, and finally decided to get this posted today, Sunday.  Since this post has a lot to do with Mark, he wanted to read it and approve it.  But, he does not have the energy nor focus to do so.

So today...  I am writing from the hospital room of my best friend, sweetheart, husband, Mark.  I find writing and sharing my feelings therapeutic.  The message that has come to me nearly everyday through the past few weeks is: Have Faith in the Plan.  I hope I am able to convey this message well, and that maybe just maybe, this message will help at least one of you to find your faith and “Have Faith in the Plan.”

Without going into ALL the details that have lead to this point, I will just give a summary of what is going on.  In 2008, Mark had a four level C-spine fusion of C3-C7.  In 2010, the titanium plate fractured.  At that point, we traveled to Duke University for more surgery.  Where the plate had fractured, the broken screws acted like windshield wipers and eroded away the vertebral body at C5-C6.  The surgeon removed the lower portion of the fractured plate, inserted a bone plug, and put a plate on to overlap where the plate had broken, then fusing him from C3-T1.  He then rolled him over and placed two rods in his neck from C5-T1.  That was an extremely difficult surgery for Mark to recover from.  But remember… he is a marathon runner.

In 2011, Zach passed away.  I have written many blog posts about my feelings of loss.  But most of all, I feel I have written much about “hope.”  I hope those of you who read this will feel of my deep sense of hope and “faith in the plan.”

Several months ago, Mark began to have some serious symptoms.  This led to having an esophogram, which revealed a few concerning things.  We found this out a few days prior to a speaking engagement I had at a Women’s Conference for the Pineview Stake.  My topic… “Women are that they might have joy.”  With all my given stress, I prayed vigilantly for the spirit take over and for me to deliver the message I was directed to give.  The Lord did not fail me, He never does.  I found so much joy in sharing.  I found so much joy in feeling the spirit from these incredible women, and from feeling a part of their great sisterhood.  I felt lifted.  I felt hope.  I felt of their love.  Thank you Pineview Stake for that sweet invitation as you truly blessed my life that day.

The next week while walking my puppy Gus one day, I was pondering the seriousness of Mark’s situation while having a tearful conversation with our Heavenly Father.  I just wanted the heavens to open and for Heavenly Father to tell me “everything is going to be just fine my child.”  Instead, I received this inspiration:

a)     Continue being a true disciple of Jesus Christ, a stalwart follower

b)     Always stand for truth and righteousness

c)     And, be a witness and testify of our Savior, Jesus Christ

I admit I was puzzled by this particular revelation.  WHY would I receive “this” particular inspiration.  I suppose the answer is in my title: Have Faith in the Plan.  As I relayed my particular inspiration to Mark, he reminded me that we need to keep the eternal perspective.  “Whatever happens,” we need to have faith in the plan, faith in our Father in Heaven, and faith in our Savior Jesus Christ.  From everything we have been taught to everything we believe and hold near and dear in our hearts, it truly is those humbling, life altering, drop you to your knees kind of trials when our faith is tested.  The only way to pass through the portals of trials is to make sure our testimonies are fueled with the necessary oils that can sustain us, carry us, and bring us that sweet calm assurance of peace.  We need to have faith in the plan, in God’s plan.

Saturday, the 22^nd of February, we found ourselves in the ER.  Mark was showing some symptoms that were concerning and was admitted to the hospital.  Sunday afternoon, he was taken to the OR around 4.  We had the cutest young lady who transported Mark to the OR, her name is Pam.  As Pam was wheeling us to the OR, she began to ask us about us.  I then began to ask her some questions.  How long have you been in St. George?  About 10 years.  Where did you go to high school?  Desert Hills.  What year did you graduate?  201x.  I then asked her, do you remember a student named Zachary Pulsipher.  She paused and said yes!  She began to talk about Zach as she had a class with him.  She spoke about when he died and how the school brought in extra counselors for those students who were struggling.  She continued to share many sweet things with us.  She was one of the many angels who blessed us that day.  I do not believe it was any coincidence that we met Pam.  From meeting Pam, and the fact that Pam knew Zach, we knew our angel Zach would be around during the course of this trial.  She gave us a gift, the very real sense that Zach was there with us.  Mark and I both felt as if we received a heavenly message from Zach, delivered by an earthly angel, Pam.

Surgery began around 5:30pm and finished around 11:30.   I have to say Mark has been under the care of incredibly skilled surgeons.  From the Neurosurgeon, Dr. Manwaring who carefully removed the plates, to the ENT surgeon, Dr. Gardner who carefully and most skillfully repaired a hole in Mark’s esophagus – 3cm hole to be exact.   And, I can’t forget forget to mention all the other key personnel from the anesthesiologist, to the nurses, to the techs, and for anyone else I may have forgotten to mention.  I have eternal gratitude for the team that was put together to help Mark.  I also need to thank these caregiver’s families who sacrificed their time with their loved ones to help my dear husband.  I well understand what those sacrifices are and have been in their shoes countless times as Mark has run to the hospital to care for someone in need.  

Tomorrow is D-day.  Mark will have a swallowing study done to assess a couple of things.  First and foremost, we need to be sure his esophagus is not leaking.  Next, we will be assessing his swallowing capabilities.  These are two major hurdles, and our hope and prayers are to see some miracles with both assessments.

Mark and I have been surrounded by your prayers, our family, dear friends who are our earthly angels (you know who your are), our wonderful Ward family, priesthood blessings, Mark’s colleagues, texts, calls, and the list goes on.  How blessed we are for those friendships, how blessed we are from your prayers (please keep them coming), and how blessed we feel to be lifted and loved by each of you. 

Life has been… a rollercoaster.  While the past few days have been full of ups and full of downs, we are now into day 7 post-op and today is a good day.  Mark is stable at the present time and slowly improving each day, he still has a few milestones to reach.  This is a very different type of marathon for Mark.  Dr. Gardner is pleased with Mark’s progress.  There is still the possibility of some bumps or hurdles.  However, we are cautiously optimistic.  Have faith in the plan.

PS… I have taken some pictures of Mark.  But if I post them, it may cause some marital strife.  For now, they are safely filed away in the “cloud.”

PPSS... We also have a new grandson amidst all this turmoil.  He is just darling and a beautiful reminder of “the plan.”  Each of our grandchildren fills Mark’s heart and mine.  

Ruby getting up close and personal with “Little Dude”

Daddy & Little Dude

He Knows by Shawna Edwards

Certain Women by Shawna Edwards