Confessions for my Mother

Dear Mom,

Now that I am 56 years old, I thought it was time to confess a few things that you probably don’t know about me.  (OR maybe you do, as I know you had one of those surgeries that put eyes in the back of your head, and had one of those bionic ear implants that lets you hear me~even when miles away.)

When I was born, you made me feel as if I was a treasure, more precious than any jewel found on earth.  Then, you had to go and have another child, Tom.  Then, Pam.  And then, Karen.  You had all these children before I was even 5, and the attention I used to receive was officially diverted.  I am not sure, but that may be why I secretly tortured my siblings using my “first-born,” “I am in charge” card.  I suppose I should apologize to each of them, but I think they were able to learn keen survival skills that have helped them to be successful in life.  (They can thank me later!)  Back to the matter at hand…  Although the attention may have seemed to be diverted (I actually do not know HOW you chased 4 little ones under five), you found time to make me cute little dresses, shower me with lots of hugs and kisses, tried many ways to style my wild curly hair, read to me, and the list goes on and on.  I learned at that very young age, a mother’s love is infinite.  You taught me how loving your child has no bounds and how a mother can love each of her children so completely.  Thank you Mom for teaching me this great principle by your beautiful example.

Yep, that was me!

Their pride and joy...me :)

Our days in Hawaii <3

A few years later, you had another child, Scott.  And then another, Jeff.  I know how happy Tom was to have some more boys in the family.  But now SIX children, really???  I was eight when you had Scott and 10 when you had Jeff.  What did this mean for me now?  Well, I will tell you.  You taught me how to change diapers and I confess that as an 8 and 10 year old, this was NOT on my bucket list of important things to do or to learn.  But there I was, at those ages, changing poopy pants with cloth diapers nonetheless.  I was also given responsibilities (a.k.a.~chores) around the house.  I had to make my bed (e.v.e.r.y.d.a.y!), clean the bathroom, pull weeds, wash and dry the dishes, on occasion make dinner, and other to-do things on an “as needed” basis.  Mom, did you realize that was a LOT to expect from someone so young???  And then, you enforced a “white-glove” examination of my work.  The pressure was intense to be sure!  However, you taught me how working together as a family is important.  You taught me to have a “work ethic” and to take pride in my work.  You taught me that you could not accomplish everything alone, and that as a family, we could accomplish everything together.  Thank you Mom for teaching me how a family can lovingly work together.  PS~I am EVER grateful for disposable diapers and wipes; I am a boss at changing diapers now!

Because you had six children now, Dad’s military salary was such that you had to go to work to help support the family.  We were given a $25 back-to-school clothing allowance and if we wanted anything extra, we had to go out and earn the money to pay for it.  You were ever the seamstress and even made me some clothes for school.  You had extremely strict rules about what we could and “absolutely could not” wear to school.  Now, I am going to remind you that jeans were the in-thing to wear, with long hair, peace signs, and kaleidoscope color clothing.  However, this type of clothing was forbidden to wear in our home.  I had to wear dresses…e.v.e.r.y.d.a.y!!!  Frilly dresses, with lace and ruffles.  Everyday!  When the dress codes at school changed, you finally allowed me to wear “pant suits.”  Pant suits that you made…ummm…red, white, and blue double knit polyester pant suits to be exact.  While you were so excited to make these and have me wear them to school, I was dreading the humiliation I was going to be facing.  You gave me no other choice, Mom.  I had to buy some jeans with my babysitting money and hide them in my locker at school.  Lockers were wide back then and I had a pretty good wardrobe in it.  I could leave home wearing things that made you smile.  I would then get to school and change into what would make me smile.  It really was a win/win situation.  Until, of course, you discovered my secret.  You were “disappointed” in me.  That word truly is worse than a spanking or restriction could ever be.  But, you taught me to own my decisions and choices and the consequences, be it good or bad, from them.  You taught me honesty and that your personal integrity means everything.  Thank you Mom for helping to build my character.

Now, because Dad was in the military, we had to move around a LOT!  As a matter of fact, I will remind you that I ended up in THREE different high schools!!!!!  Yes, three!  And, the high school I would have to graduate from would be in Korea.  I absolutely did not want to move to Korea, but you firmly brought my siblings and me to this country.  I don’t know if there was a picture of me smiling in the first few months of us living there.  Dad was a commander of a base over there.   Shortly after we arrived in Korea,  Dad was preparing for a "base day" for the GI’s stationed there.  A young man who is of the LDS faith, and worked for Dad, asked him if the Tender Apples and New Horizons could come sing for the base day.  He agreed and also asked if they would come sing for the Officer’s prayer breakfast.  The Tender Apples were young girls in a children’s home and the New Horizons were missionaries who formed a band to accompany and sing with the TA’s.  Well, wouldn’t you know???  Mom sees one of the TA’s, her name is Ok Jin, and fell in love immediately!  Mom, you already have SIX children, you do not need one more!!!  So, after speaking with the missionaries, they invited our family to a TA family home evening.  What would be next???  You guessed it…our family began to take the missionary discussions.  And, six months later our family was baptized on December 25, 1975~yes, Christmas day.  Then, Ok Jin (Jennifer) was adopted.  Then, Kyung Moon (Becky) was adopted.  We are now at eight children and what does Mom do, she fosters two more of the TA’s.  We had TEN kids living in this 3-bedroom home with just two bathrooms (and ALL these girls)!!!  Mom, you taught me about faith.  You taught me how to build and have faith in the things not seen, but felt.  You taught me that there is always room in your heart for all your children.  You taught me that sometimes you must travel far to find what God wants you to do and what blessings He has in store for you in this life.  Thank you Mom for teaching me the things of the heart and heaven.

This one is not SO bad, but I usually
looked like I would beat you to a pulp!

Our family about 2 years after joining
our church... oh.the.styles.we.wore!

Fast-forward to March of 1996, your son, our dear brother Tom passed away.  That was a difficult time to be sure.  You handled that trial with grace, strength, courage, and faith.  On July 4th of 2000, your sweetheart, your husband, our Father passed away.  Again, that was yet another difficult time.  And again, you handled that trial with grace, strength, courage, and faith.  And yet, you went on to serve not one, but four missions.  You have made an effort to go and visit each of your children.  You willingly serve in whatever position you are called to in our church.  (Even if it means being called to the ‘Activities Chairman’, falling over a chair cart, breaking your shoulder, and having to be surgically pinned back together~you showed Humpty Dumpty how to rise again!).  And when my son Zach passed away, I knew I would be able to pass safely through my Gethsamane.  I knew my testimony of a merciful Father in Heaven and a loving Savior to succor me through this trial would anchor my faith.  I knew while my tears and sorrow would weigh me down, my faith would lift me.  I know that I will be reunited with my son one day.  How could I possibly know with a surety of all these things?  The answer is simple.  I have a mother who taught me through her example, her patience, her endless prayers for my siblings and me, and her undeniable faith in God and Jesus Christ.  I hope to one day be as awesome as my own mother!  Happy Mother’s Day Mom!  

I love you more than the stars in the sky.
Your absolute favorite child (siblings of mine, she can't help it~I was her firstborn ;) )
Wendy

We took a road trip back to Mom's roots~Carthage &
Nauvoo.  I finally got that individualized time with Mom!
Happy Mother's Day <3

AND...a song <3


Guardian Angel

Below are some beautiful messages about "Mothers"