When you try to find the “meaningful” purpose in life…

Now that ALL the children are gone, the house is quiet, organized, and most of all—clean!  The loneliness that sometimes ensues can be and is very unproductive.  I have been working to fill my time with various things that help to distract and lift me.  But, there just seem to be times when the emptiness makes my heart ache.  And just when I start into the slump, it is truly amazing how I am pulled out and pumped up to get out in the world to make the slightest difference somewhere…somehow—and usually the difference is made in my life.

This week has been a BIG week in reflecting…what could I have done better? Could I have done more?  Could of…should of…would of…the what if’s—especially in regards to parenting and Zach.  I suppose the bottom line is, we can always do better or more.  However, through all this reflecting, I have come to appreciate that it is our relationships with others that matter most.  What kind of relationship do I have with my husband, with my parents, with my children, and with my siblings?  And, yet, what kind of relationship would I like—what would I do to improve them…?

Well, just when you think you have nothing to do, you take a trip to St. Lucia, plan a wedding, work at the temple, read to Head Start children, work with Special Needs peeps, walk 3.5 miles/day & swim 1 mile @ least 4 times/week. 

Mark & I took a trip to St. Lucia which was the first time ever we have taken a trip like that…ever!  It was wonderful!  On our way home, Mark’s vacation ended early when a man, who was sitting behind us, began to have a heart attack.  Mark was able to stabilize him, while the pilots tried to find an airport that was big enough to land our aircraft and that would be close to a hospital that could handle the emergency.  I have to say that that was something watching him in action.  My heart was just beaming inside and out!

We arrived home to have Rachel and Richard here.  WOW!!!  Richard is just a fine young man and we are so grateful that these two found each other.  They are getting married on June 22^nd, but they are not engaged yet… and that is said with a wink/wink to both of them!  As I have stressed over organizing and solidifying various things, I have been in awe at how everything seems to be coming together—I am truly grateful for that!

Just the other night, I confess that I was having a bit of a pity party and went to look for Zach’s life’s video on my computer (why I chose to do it that way instead of just going to my Youtube account—I don’t know—but then I found my reason why!)  I found a file I had downloaded almost a year ago from my children for Mother’s Day.

NOW, if my children read this next portion, I know that I will be in a bit of trouble.  For Mother’s Day last year, they took the time to write 100 things about me.  Quite honestly, I just could not celebrate Mother’s Day last year and as a result—I never read through what they wrote until today.  I happened upon it by simply looking for Zach’s video.  I believe I was meant to find this treasure.  When I found the file, I thought—I should probably read this.  I know each of my children SO WELL & husband—that I was able to discern who wrote what.  I cried, I laughed, and cried and laughed some more.  I have been given the great privilege of being the mother to some pretty incredible people.  They are each very successful and I sometimes look at them and think ”I gave birth to them!” Ha!  At any rate, after reading what they wrote, the meaningful purpose in life became even clearer—my family is what offers me my meaningful purpose in life.  I am so grateful to my husband, children, grandchildren, parents, siblings, and ALL my “kissin’ cuzins’!”  My family is who brings me love, makes me laugh…and cry, brings me joy, and even gratification for being a part of their lives.

So…if you are looking for your “meaningful purpose,” you should try looking in your own backyard—as what you may be looking for is really not hard to find at all.

If you want to read on further, you can read all the juicy sweet stuff my family wrote to me on Mother’s Day—I find it interesting to see how the kids seem to repeat a lot of things.  At the end, Chelsea happened to find a letter that Zach wrote to us about how he felt and she included that—I smile as I remember reading his short but sweet message.

100 Reasons Why You’re the Best Mom in the World

1. Most selfless person I know

2. Always put others first

3. Constantly thinking of how to help others

4. Always there when needed

5. Best friend

6. Endless ball of fun

7. Unconditional love

8. Great example

9. Strong testimony

10. Fantastic cook

11. Dedicated to all you do

12. Big heart

13. Incredible Nana

14. Supportive

15. Generous

16. Gifted in so many ways, and willing to share those gifts.

17. Can get along with anyone

18. Great teacher

19. You’ve shown what it means to be a ‘rock,’ to support all around you emotionally

20. “The Giving Tree” (you never stop giving)

21. Happy, even when you really want to be sad

22. Life evolves around your family J

23. Know how to keep things “hip”

24. Loveable

25. Inspiring

26.    You gave birth to me

27.    You are an awesome example of hard work

28.    You somehow find a way to manage being a student, wife, mother, and grandmother

29.    I always know that you care about me

30.    You flew out to Philly to go house shopping with me

31.     You are good at convincing father to spare a little extra cash for us kids

32.    You make things fun

33.     You make me laugh

34.    You have a strong testimony and have been a great source of strength for all of us

35.    You go all out with whatever task you are assigned

36.    You have a lot of patience

37.    You know how to make people smile

38.    You are almost as good of a swimmer as me

39.    You qualify as one of those “cool moms”

40.    My friends would come over and want to talk to you more than me

41.     Your age has not aged you

17.    You love dad

42.    You always put others’ needs before your own

43.    Your cooking skills are unparalleled

44.    You are always willing to talk, even when you are busy

45.    You let me know often that you are proud of me

46.    You are a great example of someone that puts God first

47.    Your testimony is a strength to everyone

48.    You are not afraid to tell people how it is

49.    I owe much of who I am and how much I have accomplished to your example, love, and DNA.

50. I love that you call me every morning to make sure I’m awake for all of my classes.

51. I love that you never missed an event for sports or music—you were and still are always involved in my life.

52. I love that you are my best friend and that I can tell you everything and you will listen.

53. I love that you help me to see the flip side of things and see the opinions other people have.

54. I love that you so willingly serve in your church callings to the fullest and never miss a beat.

55. I love that you always keep a positive outlook on life, even when it throws you curveballs you never could have expected.

56. I love that you encourage me to keep pushing ahead and moving forward even when I fear the outcome will not change.

57. I love that you support me in all of my ambitions and are my number one cheerleader in accomplishing my goals in life.

58. I love that we talk at least 4 times a day for thirty minutes at a time.

59. I love that you laugh at my awkward and embarrassing moments and help me to laugh right along with you.

60. I love that you are always willing to step in and offer a hug when I need one the most.

61. I love when we sit in the pool and read together then just talk about the things we are thinking about life in general.

62. I love the way you love the Lord and serve Him with all your heart—in the Temple, your callings, and in your service to your friends and family.

63. I love your example to the youth and other adults around you.  You bless their lives more than you could ever know.

64. I love when you laugh so hard that you end up squealing and tears come pouring down your face—the uncontrollable laughter is the best.

65. I love that you are a friend to all of my friends and they feel comfortable enough to come over and just sit and chat with you.

66. I love the dedication you have to swimming every morning, even when the pool heater is broken.  It makes me feel like I am left with no excuse to miss exercising one day.

67. I love the way your testimony shines in all that you do and through your face.  The Spirit within you is beautiful and shines for all to see.

68. I love your enthusiasm for life and the way you can make any situation seem like it won’t be too hard for you to handle.

69. I love that you will stay up late with me until all hours of the night so that you can talk with me about all of the drama going on in my life.

70. I love the way you speak with such conviction in your voice that no one can doubt that what you speak is truth and comes straight from your heart.

71. I love that you have the ability to make everyone who comes in contact with you love you for the person that you are.  You never pretend to be someone you are not to please someone else.

72. I love the way that you make me feel like I am one of the most important people in the world simply by letting me know how much you love me and sharing your life with me.

73. I love the way you support dad in all he does and let him know how much you care about him.  I love that you honor the covenants you have made with one another and you never let anything or anyone come in between that.

74. Most of all, I love that you are my mom.  I love that you are always there for me and make sure I know that.  I love that you always have hugs and love to offer all people.  I love you because you are you.

75. She has shown our family the meaning of love.

76.  She always puts the needs of her children and husband above her own.

77.  She spoils her children and her granddaughter(s).

78.  She is a hard worker.

79.  She puts her whole heart into callings and responsibilities.

80.  She gives great backrubs (when she wants to).

81.  She gives her all to see that her children succeed.

82.  She is very spiritual.

83.  She is very wise and intelligent.

84. She is a great example for her family.

85. She is beautiful inside and out.

86. She is humble.

87.  She is kind to everyone.

88. She is very friendly and outgoing.

89.  She drives a hot car.

90.  She has a strong testimony.

91.  She loves serving others and Heavenly Father.

92.  She has pretty toenails.

93.  She is full of faith.

94.  She loves to talk, and can talk with anyone.

95.  She has lots of shoes.

96.  She is full of charity.

97.  She is the glue that holds our family together.

98.  She keeps me on the right path.

99.  She is the best wife and mother our family could hope for.

100. PS…We love you!

 Here is a little addition from Zach to both Mom and Dad:

Thank you for getting me a drum set

Thanks for taking me to Karate

Thanks for signing me up for school clubs

Thanks for signing me up for golf and taking me to golf

Thank you for reading to me

Taking me to church

Making me breakfast, lunch, and dinner

Letting me have friends at our house

Letting me help with stuff

Listening to me

Giving me a cell phone

And most important, loving me.

Sincerely,

Zachary