It
has been QUITE sometime since I have written anything! But, there is a very good reason as to “why”
I have not. Are you ready for a
story? Well, you are going to hear it
anyway ha!
On
January 13th of this year, I turned 55. I woke up with the flu. So far so good, right? Mark kept telling me that something stinks in
the laundry room. I went in there and
could not smell a thing. Then, as I
passed the stairs that go to the basement, I got a waft of something~something
stinky! Being that it was 7am, I did not
have my contacts in nor was I showered.
So, I began my descent to the basement.
The smell became stronger with each step down. I reached the bottom step and then stepped
down onto the basement floor.
It.was.wet! The area rug was wet! I was thinking, “what in the
world???!!!!” Then, I tiptoed over to
where the guest bath was to see if that is where the water was coming from… “OH
NO!!!!!” It was not just any old water,
but it was sewage water!!!!! I was
barefoot standing in a bunch of poopy water~I am still grossed out! Yes… it made for a VERY crappy birthday!
To
say that I had to have my basement upended would be an understatement! They had to pull out all the cabinets, throw
any wood furniture that came into contact with it, pull all baseboards, tear
down a section of cabinets, take out 1 ½ feet of sheet rock, pull out shelving (which had
ALL my food storage on), AND the list goes on.
We decided since this has become a mini-remodel job, of sorts, to get
the basement floor refinished and to get our top deck repaired. We are about 3 weeks away from getting
everything completed.
I.will.be.so.glad/happy/relieved (I think you get the picture!).
As
I relate this story to many sweet friends, they have told me, “Man, you are
having so many trials!” As I quickly
thought about that, my response has been, “losing Zach is a trial, this house
stuff is merely an inconvenience.”
Losing
Zach has truly been an enormous trial. I
take one day at a time and press forward with every ounce of faith. There are painful tears of recalling his
death. There are tears in missing
him. There are tears recalling sweet and
fond memories of him. There are tears
for simply wanting to talk to him. BUT,
coupled with those tears are many smiles.
I can smile as I recall cute stories of him. I can smile as I find things he made or wrote
and cherish them more than silver or gold.
As
I have been cleaning out ALL my junk, I found several sweet memories. I found a tooth Zach lost. He had put it in this old little brass box. I remember him wanting to keep all the baby
teeth he lost in this little box. There
was only 1 tooth, his tooth. As I
marveled looking at his tooth, I recalled the sweet innocent happy little boy
he once was. Those memories warm my
heart and make me smile.
I
then had to get a ladder to do some high dusting. I found this piece of foil scrunched up and
stuffed into the top of our built-in bookshelf.
The memory behind the foil is one I will always remember with a
smile. I received a frantic call one
night from Zach. I could barely
understand him as he was speaking excitedly fast! We have had a lot of building going on around
us and that stirs up the habitats for little creatures. They search for warm places and places where
they can find food. The little creatures
that had come into our home were MICE!!!!
They were coming up through this little hole on top of the built-in
bookshelf, crawling along the edge, and down the fireplace. Zach got the ladder, climbed up, and stuffed
this piece of foil into the bookshelf hole to prevent any more from coming out. As I was cleaning, I pulled this piece of foil
out, held it and even smiled with a little laugh at this sweet memory.
I
have been tackling just about every area of our home, de-junking. As I was downstairs going through some bins,
I found a “Mother’s Day” card that Zach had made me back in Kindergarten or 1st
grade. It had been laminated. I love his cute little picture! I love looking at his handwriting! I love the message he wrote me! I love and cherish this memory. It brings both a smile and tears.
Where
getting ALL this house restoration work done is a royal pain in the keester, it
has also been a great blessing. Firstly,
we are getting some things taken care of that have needed attention. Secondly, I have been able to go through and
de-junk. I have made at least 12 trips
to DI, and loaded garbage cans full, (I even had to borrow our neighbor's cans a
few times). This has been a PLUS! Lastly, I have been able to find MANY sweet
memories of Zach. Memories that bring a
flood of emotions, and all are heart-warming.
I
am grateful for inconveniences, as I have come to completely understand the
difference between them and trials.
I
am grateful for trials. Mine has brought
me to the depths of sorrow and has taught me to look up. Mine has taught me to reach for my Savior’s
hand so that he can firmly take hold of mine and pull me up. Mine has taught me to never let go of my
Savior’s hand and that He will walk with me every step of my life. Mine has taught me that time is our friend
and that my Savior coupled with time can help ease those wounds. Mine has taught me where “real” joy is found,
and how to truly smile from the depths of my soul. Our lives are indeed an opportunity to create
a beautiful masterpiece, one that we can cherish, appreciate, and have a depth
of gratitude for.
I
am grateful for memories, they bring me sweet quiet moments of peace and
comfort. “God gave us memories that we
may have roses in December.” And, as
Barbara Streisand once sang, “Memories, light the corners of my mind.” My memories certainly are a light in my mind
and to my soul.
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I love his cheesy grin & LOVE that he ALWAYS signed everything
"Zachary Pulsipher"
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Each of the students had to write a meaning to each letter in "mother"
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This is what he wrote me. The big red picture is supposed to be a piece of candy
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The back of his card~he had to put a heart with an arrow through it
My sweet memory find <3
