Rollercoasters...: I was feeling heavy, sharing something personal, and the gift of an incredible blessing

I realize it has been quite some time since I actually posted something worthwhile on my blog. I decided I needed to share something personal, incredibly wonderful, that has lifted me, blessed me, and changed me. I sometimes think we go along in life wondering if God knows “who we are,” and if we are any type of importance to Him. I want to impart what little knowledge I have, but it is a sure knowledge that each of us is important and each of us has a divine purpose here on this Earth. I also believe that it is up to each of us to actually turn to Him to find the peace and joy we desperately seek and need in our lives. And if we are diligent in our seeking, we shall find.

Back in early November, I was beginning to feel down, heavy with the feelings of losing Zach, nearing a three-year mark. Our daughter, Chelsea, was getting close to her due date on December 8^th. I had actually purchased a ticket to go up on December 6^th and stay until the 18^th to help her out. I had some reluctance in purchasing my ticket early, and I still puzzle over that. We had a Stake Conference scheduled for December 13-14, and I had the strongest feeling, impression if you will, that I needed to be there. I currently have a calling in our Stake and thought that maybe that was part of the reason. Stake Conference vs. helping daughter and snuggling new grandbaby…should be an easy decision, right???

I received a call from Chelsea on November 10^th in the afternoon, and what she was describing were “labor pains.” Off she went to the hospital and next thing I hear is that she is being prepped for a c-section. Bailee was born on November 10^th. My flight plans just changed. Chelsea phoned and said she could “really use” my help now instead of December 6^th. I was able to get coverage at the temple and flew up to help her and her family out. I had so much fun chauffeuring Brooklynn to school, Chelsea to the hospital, and then Brielle and I would be off to shop for the MANY necessities for this new baby they weren’t quite prepared for yet. Everyday, we had to go shop for something, when Brielle finally said to me, “NO MORE SHOPPING NANA!” Ha! She still makes me smile to think of her that day.

The good news is that even though Bailee came early, and because all of our modern medicine, she is doing well and thriving. She is a sweet little angel fresh from heaven. Our family has been blessed.

The other good news was that I could now attend Stake Conference. I felt such relief being able to attend. Even though I felt relief, I still had overwhelming feelings of grief, to the point that tears came easily almost every day. I would soon find my relief.

I attended the Saturday evening session of conference and it was wonderful and inspiring. But, where I found the answer to my prayers came at the Sunday session of conference. Our Stake President had asked a wonderful sister, Amy, to share her conversion story. She was engaging and had me captivated from the moment she began her talk. I am attaching her talk so that you can enjoy and feel inspired from her words.

I do not want to take away from her talk, but I do want to give you a brief summary. Amy was raised Catholic and one of 13 children. She has been married for eighteen years, thirteen of which she has lived here in St. George. She has three beautiful children. She had a brother, Kris, who came to live with her and her family for what would be the last two years of his life. He was tragically killed in a motorcycle accident. After Kris’ death, Amy said she “despised” church and did not want to have anything to do with church. A wonderful family came into her life that happen to be of our faith, Latter-Day Saints.

Amy had been taking the missionary lessons, but had not had that moment of, “ok, I want to be baptized!” She wanted to do this for herself and not for anyone else. She actually told the missionaries that when she was ready she would let them know.

This is where Zach comes into the picture. She then related how, about three years ago, her daughter came home and wanted to go to the funeral of a little boy that was in her class. I was thinking, “That’s sad, as Zach died three years ago.” Then she said, “I think his name was Zachary…Pulsipher.” I literally gasped and the tears began to stream…tears of joy.

Amy’s initial reaction was to say "no" to going to the funeral because of the bad experience she had when her brother passed away. But something inside her told her she should come. She indicated where she sat in the chapel and how, for two hours, she cried as she listened to the mother, father, and each of Zach’s siblings speak about him. But, the tears she was crying were happy tears. As you can well imagine, I was crying “happy tears” too. She then went on to say, “When I was sitting in this building, for that little boy, I knew that it wasn’t the end. And, I knew that I wanted to be a part of that. Because, I was going to see my brother again.” She said she thanked that little boy for being her missionary on the other side of the veil.

Remember when I said I was feeling so much pain from grief? Remember how I wasn’t even supposed to be at Stake Conference? I am here to share with you that I was supposed to be at Stake Conference. Amy’s conversion story was balm to my soul. When she shared how for three years Zach has been with her and especially the month prior to her giving her talk, I knew Zach wanted me to know what he is doing now. Through Amy, we received a mini-mission report from Zach. Thank you Amy for letting the Spirit guide you and for listening to Zach. And, as a side note, Zach did in fact love being the center of attention~oh, how that warmed my heart when Amy said that.

This truly was the greatest Christmas gift we could ever hope to receive. I have so much gratitude for the tender mercies that have been poured out for Mark, my family, and me. Who knew, three years down the road, that we would receive the sweetest message? The Lord did, that’s who.

Amy's talk

Choose the video of the woman in the red dress :) (AmyCHE)

I Am His Daughter