When you put 1 next to 8, it looks a lot like 18.
Yes Zach, you would be 18.
As I have been uploading the pictures of your
life, I have had so many memories flood my mind.
Memories of the day you were born.
Those memories of your little boy antics brought
me smiles, tears, and sometimes frustrations.
But most of all, I feel as if I am staring at a piece of my heart.
The piece that seems to hold my deepest motherly
love for you, and wrap me in those precious moments in time that leaves me with
a longing to see you and simply hug you.
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| That angelic face |
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| Always trying to be funny |
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| Chillaxing in the recliner |
When I look through the pictures of your short but sweet life,
I marvel at how each one holds a story.
Each one holds a treasured memory.
And with all those memories of days gone by, I find myself pondering the
many different things you would be doing if you were here.
Dating.
Graduating from high school.
Preparing for a mission.
Attending college (most certainly the University of Utah as you promised
Dad you would go there!).
Marriage.
The list could go on and on, just as I have
seen each of your siblings succeed in their progression of this life.
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| He actually gave the surprise away - ha! |
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| He was so excited for my 50th surprise birthday party |
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Many of your friends sent me graduation announcements.
I decided to be brave and attend
graduation.
For whatever reason, I sat
in this one particular section, in the row “P.”
I saved three seats, one for Dad, me, and you.
I happened to be sitting in the section by
the stairs where the graduates would walk past me.
I saw so many of your friends.
I called their names and waved like a crazy
lady.
Many of them yelled, “I love you
Wendy Pulsipher!”
Oh how they made me
smile.
I am happy for their success and
feel so blessed that they would include me in their special day.
At moments when I felt as if a tear might
slip, I felt you sitting next to me.
I
felt you smiling and happy to see your friend’s successes.
I also felt as if you put your hand on top of
mine, letting me know “all is well.”
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| Receiving his Arrow of Light~my friend Tanya got the headdress |
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| Dropping Rachel off at college |
18.
You would be
18.
With all the pondering of
“who you’d be today,” I find myself comforted
in knowing how happy you are.
I truly
find myself having the desire and need to make you proud of me.
Am I steadfast in my faith?
Am I serving with all my heart, might, mind,
and strength?
Am I trying to help others
who have faced the same type of trial in losing someone they love?
Am I being the kind of mother that makes you
say, “Yo, that’s MY Mom!”?
I am NOT
perfect, but as you, my angel son, watch over me, I pray that I am “making you
proud!”
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| Hiking Observation Point just a few months before his passing |
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| Such a cute young man |
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| He just had to wear these glasses that weren't his |
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Thank you for so richly blessing my life.
Thank you for visiting me in my dreams.
Thank you for being near and for those rare
treasured moments when I feel you squeeze my hand or give me a hug.
Those really are the simple things in life that
bring my heart comfort and most certainly peace.
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| My people @ Chelsea's graduation |
I am working on your birthday flowers for the
headstone.
I found “royal blue” floral
pieces this year, your favorite color.
Dad and I will be sending you your special balloon bouquet with our
messages of love attached.
Happy
Birthday Zach.
With My Forever Love,
Mom
Who You'd Be Today
