I have.
Since Zach’s passing I have had moments where I have truly
wondered if God really knows who I am. And
during those moments I find myself asking, “Heavenly Father, do You really know
who I am?”
For those particular moments of sincere questioning, an
answer has always come. My answers have
come in many ways and most of them are unexpected, yet tailored just for
me. And through those unforeseen answers,
I feel His loving words, “oh my dear daughter, I know who you are and I love
you.” And almost every time, I also feel
Him tell me “you already know this.”
I can feel His love through my beautiful family. When I look into their eyes and feel of their
unconditional love for me, I somehow know that my Father in Heaven loves
me. There is something “heavenly” about
a family’s love. Whether through phone
calls, face time, texts, or actual visits, hugs, and even kisses, I believe those are the precious
moments that not only keep us close as a family, but also keep us close to God. The love I have for my family offers me a
glimpse of the love that my Father in Heaven has for even me.
I can feel His love through incredible friends. Let me just say that on one or more occasion (mostly
more), my dear friends have blessed my life.
My friends just seem to know when I need a Diet Coke, yummy chocolate
cake, a new emoji app, a text, or a phone call.
In a world where everyone is so incredibly busy, that simple act of what
I label as “service” let’s me know I am loved.
It reminds me of the scripture from Mosiah 2:17: “And behold, I tell
you these things that ye may learn wisdom; that ye may learn that when ye are
in the service of your fellow beings ye are only in the service of your God.”
Through gratitude, I can truly feel of my Father in Heaven’s
love for me. Why gratitude you ask? Let me just begin by saying that my sweet mother
taught me gratitude at a VERY young age.
For every gift or help I may have received, I had to write “Thank You”
notes. That tutoring has continued on to
my children. After Zach’s funeral, I
wrote nearly 130 thank you notes. People
didn’t expect it, but with all the charitable acts that were sweetly given to
us, how could I not?! Writing those
thank you notes was therapeutic. At a
time when I was emotionally devastated, those thank you notes helped me to feel
of God’s love for me. Through those
thank you notes came the realization of ALL that was done for my family and me. I thought of the scripture in Ephesians 1:16
“Cease not to give thanks…” Gratitude in
everything we have, do, or receive is essential in keeping us grounded in
knowing and appreciating God’s love for us.
Yesterday morning I opened our patio doors to enjoy the cool
air just after it had finished raining.
I observed some of the low lying clouds hanging over the bluffs, the
grass seemed a little greener, a few rays of the sun were trying to peek out
between the clouds, the fresh smell that comes from rain, and then the words to
a Primary song came to mind.
“I like to look for rainbows whenever
there is rain
And ponder on the beauty of an earth
made clean again.
I want my life to be as clean as earth
right after rain.
I want to be the best I can and live
with God again.”
I want to be the BEST I can to live
with God again. I have a deep love for
my Father in Heaven and my Savior Jesus Christ.
For with that particular love, I begin to understand, feel, and know of
how They reciprocate Their love for me. Unconditional love. A parent’s love for their children is
steadfast and unconditional. And so it
is with our Father in Heaven~He is steadfast in His love for each of us.
I Am His Daughter
