Sunday, January 14, 2018

And so, I kiss my hand, then touch the ground, and turn to look into the sky

In my now 59 years of age, I like to think that I have seen it all.  And also that, I have “pearls” of wisdom.  I think we like to think we know a thing or two at our age.  Or maybe, just maybe, we have “learned” a thing or two.  Learning is a lifelong process (profound, I know!).  But more importantly, we need to grow from those incredibly challenging experiences that help to mold us and to shape us into human beings with hearts that see and feel.  Then, we need to use that knowledge for good, turning it into “positive” actions.

After Zach’s passing, and learning all the circumstances that surrounded his death, I knew the only way I would survive was to stay busy by serving.  If I could look for someone to help in some small way, I knew my life would be blessed.  Do you even realize how many people need help?  The list is endless!  Reading to pre-schoolers, helping an elderly person across the street, helping someone at the check-out line in the grocery store who clearly has no money, helping someone who has made poor choices, being a friend who listens, loving your family and all their imperfections, bake something yummy and secretly deliver it to someone who needs to feel special, and most importantly we need to be kind.  These are only a very small amount of the types of things we can do.  And, we can do these types of things every day!

Instead of hard-heartedness, find compassion.  Instead of blame and judgment, find forgiveness.  Instead of prejudice, find acceptance and friendship.  Instead of cruelty, find kindness. Instead of hate, find love.

Now, I am NOT perfect and therefore have to work on ALL of these things.  I can say, I am trying to give life my best effort.  The things that have become obstacles in my life, I simply cut a wide path around them.  I basically try and avoid the negative.  Negative is dark and heavy, but positive is ethereal and full of light.

Every day I have a choice of how I want to live, of what I want to do, of how I want to feel.  I have the choice.  At the end of the day, I evaluate my day, my efforts, and my choices.  Would Zach be smiling and proud of me?  OR would he be covering his eyes saying, “Oh Mom, why did you do (or say) that?!!”  Would my Savior be pleased with my efforts?  Would my Father in Heaven?  I am praying that each of them is pleased with my efforts.


I went to the cemetery on my birthday with Mark.  It is sweet to remember our son, his life, his infectious laugh, any memory that brings us joy and peace.  My ritual when I leave is to kiss my hand, touch the ground where he is buried, and then look to the bright blue sky.  I sometimes feel like I am staring straight into heaven.  And, I sometimes feel like Zach is staring and smiling… right back at me.

A few kindness quotes to ponder:
"No act of kindness, no matter how small, is ever wasted."  Aesop

"Kindness is the language which the deaf can hear and the blind can see."  Mark Twain

"Kindness in words creates confidence.  Kindness in thinking creates profoundness.  Kindness in giving creates love."  Lao Tzu

"A warm smile is the universal language of kindness."  William Arthur Ward

And one of my new favorite songs by Tim McGraw "Humble and Kind"

AND... Mark also took me to "Puppy Palace" to hug and hold some sweet pups

Mark trying to love holding a puppy
Success!


I fell in love with this one!
Puppies make everything happy! <3





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