Do You Believe?

As I was walking this morning and pondering a talk I just listened to, the question that came to my mind was “Do you believe?”  I began to think about Santa and how wholeheartedly I believed in him as a child. I then recalled teaching my children “if you always believe in Santa, you will always get the best Christmas gifts.”  Of course, now, there is the “Elf on the Shelf” who helps Santa every year in bringing joy by doing all the outrageous things to make all the children, who believe, smile. Christmas truly is one of the most magical times of year.  

Fifty years ago on Christmas Day in 1975, I was baptized and confirmed a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints.  This was a magical day for me and my family as we each entered the waters of baptism.  The entire Korea Seoul Mission was there to witness our family being baptized.  This was the day that began my journey as a member of Jesus Christ’s church. 

Little did I know, back then, that I would need the gospel in my life to endure the many trials that would line my life’s road.  Of course, the most difficult of trials was exactly two weeks before Christmas when our beautiful boy Zach ended his life. Is there life after death?  Will I see my loved ones again? Zach? Can families really be together forever?  Is Zach our angel now?  Can the Savior truly heal my wounds and carry me through the storms of life?  Is the temple a place where we can find peace, solace, healing, and even joy?

If you know me at all, you will know how I would answer these questions.  In the twinkling of an eye, Zach was gone.  The loss and pain that fractured my soul, in that moment, cannot be adequately described.  But, here is my “how” and “why” I can press on.  There IS life after death.  I believe that with the entirety of my soul.  This offers “hope.”  I know with my most motherly heart of hearts that I WILL see Zach again.  This brings “peace.”  Families CAN be together forever.  This is “the plan.”  I have felt the Savior’s love and comfort as I traversed this particularly challenging time in my life.  For truly, I understand how “His yoke is easy” to lighten my burdens.  When I am in the temple, I feel like I have come “home.”  The temple helps me understand “the plan,” to find “peace,” and to make my “hope” burn brighter than the noonday sun.

Who knew, back on December 25, 1975, that a young, immature, and inexperienced young girl would “need” to know, understand, and believe what those missionaries valiantly taught?  This girl, now “older woman,” that’s who.  For, I do believe. 

The magic of Christmas is not just in believing in Santa, the gifts, or that Elf of the Shelf.  The magic of Christmas lies within each of our hearts, the light of Christ.  May your light burn bright for the world to see with the “Light of Christ” this Christmas season.  May you find your comfort and peace through following Him, each and everyday.

**We miss you Zach and think of you every day.**  Zach is our angel.  Of course, I believe he is!

An “Angelversary” message 💙